The Quest for Wholeness: Technology, Spirituality, and Personal Growth

Struggling with the weight of societal expectations and the quest for personal integrity, we often mask our deeper search for joy and fulfilment behind professional accolades. On the latest episode of our podcast, we're joined by Constantin Morun, who bravely shares his transformative experience with plant medicine and how it led him on a path from tech to mentorship. Together, we unpack the trials of manhood in today's world, touching on the necessity of self-discovery and the courage it takes to embrace vulnerability and authenticity.

The silent battles we face, sometimes hidden behind a successful career, can lead to a surprising and profound journey towards personal coaching and spirituality. We reveal how even a senior role at Microsoft couldn't shield our guest from the clutches of depression, and how he turned his life around through personal development. Our conversation spans the critical shift from a limited to a growth mindset and uncovers the resilience found through spirituality, crucial for overcoming the amplified mental health challenges brought upon by the pandemic.

Wrapping up, our hearts pour into the psychology of empowerment, dissecting the essential role that self-love plays in our evolution. You'll be inspired by the life-changing potential of books like "Finding Your Why" and learn how a simple daily exercise of self-affirmation can cultivate a more holistic approach to personal development. Whether you're grappling with a scarcity mindset or seeking a deeper connection with your purpose, this episode promises to offer guidance and inspiration to align with your heart and embrace your destiny. Join us, and let Konstantin's story help you navigate your own integrity challenge.

Key moments in this episode:
03:27 Constantin's Hero's Journey: From Burnout to Breakthrough
22:44 Unlocking Potential: Key Principles and Strategies
26:35 The Power of Thoughts on Destiny
30:01 Gratitude Practices and Their Impact
36:05 Practical Tips for Personal Development
39:06 The Importance of Self-Love and Mentorship
43:34 Book Recommendations and Final Takeaways

How to reach Constantin:
🕸: https://unleashthyself.com/
📺: https://youtube.com/@unleashthyself
🤝: https://www.linkedin.com/in/constantin-bo-morun/

Chapters

• 0:00 The Integrity Challenge
• 6:05 Navigating Depression and Personal Coaching
• 12:39 Personal Growth and Resilience Through Spirituality
• 19:34 Overcoming Limited Mindset for Growth
• 24:36 The Psychology of Empowerment
• 34:35 Personal Growth and Self-Love
• 43:12 Impactful Books and Finding Purpose

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

You know, as a coach or a mentor, many of us use a tool that separates our lives in more than just our professional or personal lives, and in our work, we ask men to also consider their emotional well-being, their spiritual well-being, relationships and financial well-being. I call this the integrity challenge. It's a challenge because of how we define ourselves. Many, including me, don't consider more than one or two aspects of our life. Including me don't consider more than one or two aspects of our life, and today my guest and I discuss his journey and how he was able to merge the intersections between technology, spirituality and personal development, and so I can't wait for you to hear what he has to say.

Speaker 1: 0:35

And before we get into that, you know, being a man today has never been more challenging, and so the pain we feel, for many of us, is real. It's a pain of loneliness and it's a pain of unworthiness, and it's masked by our feelings of anger and resentment, and it's all because we're afraid and uncertain of what to do or take that next step, and so if you're tired and fed up of where your life is at, I'm going to encourage you to start your hero's quest, where you can become more, accomplish more and live more than ever before. Go to memberstheawakenmannet and start your quest today. With that, let's get on with today's episode.

Speaker 2: 1:14

The average man today is sleepwalking through life, many never reaching their true potential, let alone ever crossing the finish line to living a purposeful life, let alone ever crossing the finish line to living a purposeful life. Yet the hunger still exists, albeit buried amidst his cluttered mind, misguided beliefs and values that no longer serve him. It's time to align yourself for greatness. It's time to become a revolutionary man.

Speaker 1: 1:41

Stay strong, my brother, welcome everyone to the Revolutionary man Podcast. I'm the founder of the Awakened man Movement and your host, alan DeMonso. When you are asked to introduce yourself, what do you say? Is it more than your career? Maybe a father or a husband, and what we share? And when people ask us that question, it says a lot about the image we have about ourselves. It's not a good or a bad thing, it's just how we see ourselves. But what if there was more to our lives than just limited visions that we have? How can we expand that vision? Well, that is what we're going to get into today.

Speaker 1: 2:19

Allow me to introduce my guest. Constantine Maroun is a passionate advocate for personal growth, self-discovery and professional development. With over 15 years of experience and through his journey from a fear-ridden man hiding his authentic self to embracing vulnerability, authenticity, constantine has demonstrated that self-discovery can unlock the keys to personal and professional success. So he's integrated this passion from technology, spirituality and mentorship, and Konstantin helps individuals unlock their full potential, empowering members of their audience to be live, humble and sincere with their insights. Welcome to the show, konstantin. How are you Jose?

Speaker 3: 2:59

I want a beautiful introduction. Thank you for having me here, and I'm doing excellent. You know it's a morning where I am. Sun is out, minus 15 degrees Celsius, however many that's in Fahrenheit, very cold.

Speaker 1: 3:11

So living the dream Right on. Good to hear. Yes, I'm in the middle of Canada here. I know you're out in Halifax on the East coast. So great to speak with a fellow Canadian today. And yes, we're about the same temperature here this morning, a little chilly today, just a bit, yeah. So, as you know, in our work here, constantine, and here at the Revolutionary man podcast, my opening question for all my guests is get an opportunity, a little insight here about your hero's quest, your hero's journey, and so tell us about that time in your life when you knew things had to change. What did you do about it? How was that and how did that experience shape you into the man you are today and the work that you're doing?

Speaker 3: 3:48

Yeah, I love the question. I love listening to how people answer that. Mine, I would say, started perhaps about three years ago, coming out of the pandemic. Like many people right, I was working long hours. I work in technology, so part of my job at the time was to enable people to be able to work from home, to be able to be with their family and still bring some money in. And while it was a fulfilling job, it took a lot out of me, you know long days, 12 hours plus weekends as well and eventually I burnt out. What I hadn't realized back then was that I was actually fighting depression for a very long time, in fact, probably most of my 20s and my 30s but, like most men, we go undiagnosed and we don't want to face it and we say everything is fine and below the surface. We cry inside, right, and we think everything is okay, but really it's not. So it was about three years ago.

Speaker 3: 4:42

The pandemic was kind of coming to well, not the pandemic itself, but the closures were coming to an end and I thought, okay, you know what, I need to do something about this. However, it took me a long time to even see what to do, because I was seeing a therapist here and there. I didn't find a connection. And one of the things that came to my radar multiple times was plant medicine, specifically something called ayahuasca.

Speaker 3: 5:07

And I'm not someone that's been into spirituality much before that. I'm not someone that's been attracted to that type of medicine, let's say I mean, to be honest, I've never even been drunk. I drink occasionally, but I don't enjoy doing that. I don't do drugs or anything. So plant medicine to me was like okay, why would I do that? But then something kept calling and calling and calling. So I started pursuing, looking into it and the more I research and I'm someone that loves to do research as you mentioned, I'm in technology, I have a mathematics background, so for me everything has to make sense logically. So I had to find the science behind it. If there's any available, or at least anecdotal information from so many people that now it starts to paint a picture in my mind. So that's kind of where my journey started man.

Speaker 1: 5:51

I love that and what I really like about what you're saying.

Speaker 1: 5:54

There is a couple of things I and you'll find I'm going to take lots of notes and it's just the way I do the podcast, because I find I learned so much out of this, is one of the biggest reasons why I do this work here with the, with the podcast.

Speaker 1: 6:05

But you talked about something about fighting depression. Yes, and you know, as men, you know what's one of the things that I find that we really struggle with and you know, and the statistics haven't changed over the last two decades you know, men still have the highest rate of suicide. You know we're four to sometimes five times more likely to commit it, and the challenges is because we do fight, and you talked about this crying inside, and so, before I get into the next part of, what I wanted to ask you is is this talk a little bit about like that? Because how did it really, how did that really feel for you? Like what was going on for you, how was it after you came out of it? What were the aha moments? Oh, that, because of this, was how I was doing this or how I was acting. That's how I recognize the depression and maybe you've seen that in your clients. Absolutely.

Speaker 3: 6:52

No, I love the question and I'll be honest with you, even as much as, like six, seven months ago, I thought that my depression was isolated to like last year alone, like 2022. And then, as I sat more and did more introspection and sat with myself, I realized that it's been going on for a long time and the way mine manifested is in a lack of joy and fulfillment in day-to-day life. Now, of course, there were many amazing things happening in my life that would bring me joy, but that joy was not something that was sticking because of everything else that was being piled up on top, also the sense of fulfillment. Now, keep in mind I have an amazing career. I work for microsoft, actually, so I have a senior role. I'm in technology for a lack of a better term. I have the american dream, yet I had no joy and fulfillment. I had the shiny toys no fulfillment, no joy, right. So that's how it manifested for me.

Speaker 3: 7:42

Of course, it also manifested in me spending time on things that would just distract me from real world, meaning, of course, netflix, like most of us do, but also computer games. I used to be a gamer big time when I was younger, so there was always my refuge, right Jumping to computer games, and I mean last year. There were times where I would work my job, and I mean last year. There were times where I would work my job, take my dogs for a walk and then spend 12 hours playing games right, cutting on sleep and everything else, just so I can distract myself and feel less pain. And the pain is not the pain most people would think about, I would say those that don't suffer with depression and stress and burnout and anxiety. It's a pain where, like it's not physical pain, it's emotional. It's a pain where, like it's not physical pain, it's emotional, it's mental pain. So very, very hard to describe to someone that hasn't had a chance to experience that, and I would argue that almost everyone has experienced a version of it in their life.

Speaker 1: 8:36

I completely agree with that and it's part of the reason why I'm doing this. Work was a lot. There was pain in my life as well and I like how you frame that. It's not a physical pain that we can all recognize. We can recognize that physical pain, but when there's that numbing, you know deep inside pain where we have that. As you said, you know this lack of fulfillment. Many of us have successful careers, we have the accoutrement, so it looks like a successful and a happy life, but truly, when we get up and we move and we take on the day, we feel less fulfilled because we're not living from a place of purpose and passion. And that's why I like having guests such as yourself on, who you know have gone through that journey. And then, so that leads me into the next part of your opening. You talked about you know being. You know because you're into technology and mathematics and you have.

Speaker 1: 9:26

You want it to be practical yes, you want it to be able to make sense, it has to be logical. And so, now that you've gone through to that part of the journey and you're into this place, into the sphere of personal coaching, how has that influenced your professional life, and what role has spirituality also played in that process?

Speaker 3: 9:47

Okay, some amazing questions in there, so let's take them one at a time. Now, in terms of the coaching aspect and the mentorship aspect, here's the interesting thing about me. I remember I was even maybe five years old when I first started essentially giving back and coaching people and gathering people to play soccer right, and I've been in a role of a coach or a mentor all of my life, be it in playing soccer, since I grew up tutoring in high school and university mathematics, physics, all the sciences, be it as a coach. Essentially, I was big in computer games during my university years, to the point that it could be considered professional. I was making good money out of it and then moved into playing poker online as a profession for many years and, of course, because I love doing it and I got really good really fast. I was able to coach many people. I coached thousands of people for like a decade in how to be better poker players.

Speaker 3: 10:41

And I always focus on the psychology side of it, which I'll come back to in a second, because I didn't realize my passion for psychology until much later in life.

Speaker 3: 10:50

And to you know, going back to the coaching piece, everything I've done in my life has been me learning something, me going through something, me experiencing something, and then wanting to share with the world and be like, hey, you know if things having and then wanting to share with the world and be like, hey, you know, if I've done this, you can do it too. Yeah, and I've been a mentor at microsoft. I'm entering every other corporate job I've had where people navigate to me or someone gets assigned because they just joined the company and then we form a relationship and it's not just me giving back, I'm also learning so much. You mentioned something at the beginning of this how you love taking notes because you learn so much from these conversations. Well, it's the same for me Whenever I coach and I mentor. It's not a one-way street. I learn a lot myself, I get challenged as I challenge them and I learned so, so, so much.

Speaker 1: 11:33

Yeah, absolutely, I just love that and absolutely. And thanks for sharing the idea of how the coaching piece just really evolved in your career and and and how you've learned to do that and what I like, what one of the takeaways I had from there. You also talked about you know getting, you know being challenged, and really that's really what it is about doing men's work and the work that we do. It's really about we try to be. You know, I'm careful now I'm starting to reframe this comment a little bit because I said I used to say that our work is really about being judgment-free, a judgment-free zone, and it is. But when we start into the accountability piece and that's, I think, what you're kind of leading towards at least that's my interpretation that when you're working with people there needs to be some sense of accountability and within that there will be tinges of judgment. But look at it as can we be compassionate with it and how we come across from a. It can be very cruel and that that's what we don't, we don't tolerate or allow in our work, but we still want to have some form of accountability. And so the second half of my question and I know I tend to bunch some questions.

Speaker 1: 12:39

I talked to you. I also asked a little bit about you. Know how spirituality played you? I also asked a little bit about you. Know how spirituality played a role? And you talked a little bit about the plant medicine. Maybe, if you don't mind, expanding a little bit more on that aspect as well, Absolutely I would love to.

Speaker 3: 12:51

And before I jump into spirituality, I know you also asked about how it impacted my professional life journey. And keep in mind I am in a senior role. I've been for a while, so I am in a senior role. I've been for a while, so technically I was in a good spot. However, by going on this journey, understanding myself better and, like you just mentioned really beautifully, having more compassion, more empathy for others, realizing that it starts with yourself first and then, of course, you can give it to others, it made me a much better coworker. It made me a much better person to work with.

Speaker 3: 13:18

The customers I work with Because in the past I would come from judgment. The customers I work with Because in the past I would come from judgment. I'll be like, oh, someone is late five minutes, I don't respect my time, they're always late, and I'll go on this negative loop that would, of course, ruin part of my day, if not the entire day. Now I come from a place of compassion, meaning, like you know what I know. They have young children. They may need a few minutes. I know they have some issues at home. That's fine. Or maybe I don't know anything, and should I know right, probably not. So we can always come from the place of love. So when I incorporate it into my professional life, because it's just who I am and who I allowed myself to be, because it was always there, it's just, it was hidden under the layers of societal let's call them indoctrinations, and school indoctrination and everything else, right, where kind of the hate is a strong word but let's say the fear was on top of it, right, and the love was below. And until we could remove the layers of fear, we couldn't get to the real person. And that's what I've been able to do. And it's not the job, you know, 100% done, it's always a work in progress, like an onion, there's layers and layers, and up, you know, 100% done, it's always a work in progress, like an onion, there's layers and layers, and that's where a bit of spirituality comes in.

Speaker 3: 14:26

You see, I grew up somewhat religious, but I never practiced, right, I thought I was agnostic for the most part. Right. Then things started happening in my life and I realized, you know what? There are forces greater than us out there that we don't understand, at the very least the connection we have with each other and nature and everything around us because we are nature. But then, when you take a walk in the woods, why do you feel the way you do? I have two dogs and I've always had dogs the connection I have with them. Why is it that way? Right? So then, once you start going down that path, you realize that, ok, you know what? No-transcript. Now, for some of us, the purpose might be to just live at the top of the mountain and just enjoy life and enjoy nature. For others, it could be that we come into this life to make a difference, to elevate the rest of the people around us, be it in a small circle or a much larger, like we're seeing, people like Tony Robbins or others that are actually influencing large masses.

Speaker 1: 15:30

Yeah, I like how you frame that as well, and I think that's whenever my wife and I get to talk about living for purpose, right, I? One of the mottos we have here is about living a life of purpose, capital of intention on purpose, deeper intention. And that doesn't mean we have to, that doesn't mean our lives are all going to turn into and be superstars and be a president of the United States or a Tony Robbins, whatever, but we have purpose, we get up and we have intention, purposeful intention every day for to live our lives. And so thanks for for framing that that way and reminding all of us that you know, it doesn't need to be something that's necessarily earth shattering. It could be that may be the direction that the spirit ultimately takes you, but if that's your end goal, then then really I think you have to revisit your truly, what your purpose and your desire is to be here absolutely, absolutely.

Speaker 3: 16:18

And what I would want to add there, because when we talked about my hero's journey while I started three years ago, it really took off after the plant medicine, after I got to understand a few more things. Also, though, when I uncovered, finally, my why and my purpose, or at least a part of it, because I know it's something that changes over time, slightly. Right, as you evolve as a person, of course, your purpose, your why evolves with you as well, and I remember being someone that's always asked questions as to you know what's the point of life? It has to be more than just grow up, go to school, have some kids, have a job and then die. To me, it never made sense, and I remember asking that question over and over as I was a young boy growing up, but I never got the answer, nor did I have the environment where I could find this answer. Now, as I grew older, I kind of started looking into it, and, of course, last year is when.

Speaker 3: 17:09

Last year, when I say it's like early last year, is when I said okay, you know what, it's time to really take a look at this and see how I can uncover it. It took me months, and now I have a process where I can help others do it in weeks, and it's been transformational not just for me but for the people in my life, be it my personal life, my professional life or the people I coach. Because once you have a strong why, once you have a purpose defined, then you can bring more of the things in your life in alignment with that, and that's when you'll see joy, fulfillment, abundance. And when I mean abundance, I'm not talking just about wealth, money, right, it's abundance in your emotional health, in your physical health, in your mental health, all of it. Relationships.

Speaker 1: 17:50

Absolutely, absolutely. Thank you. I just really liked that. I love that how you're framing that as well, and I think it's important and to your point there we do similar work here is that I take them through a journey, a process I call it the return of the king and it's a process where, ultimately, they end up by crafting a division statement or purpose statement for themselves, and what I ask them to do is to revisit that at least annually, because they'll set up their goals and their aspirations for the upcoming year, to do that work, and then, as things start to evolve, they change, that purpose will start to reshape, it'll get clearer, it'll, it'll.

Speaker 1: 18:29

There'll be subtleties in it, and so that's a great reminder for all of us. Sometimes it's not a fixed state. We're always unfolding, continually unfolding. You know the proverbial onion piece. Now you now we start off this conversation talking about. We're both in Canada, you're on the East Coast, I'm on the, in the center part of the of the country, but you grew up in Eastern Europe under a totally different type of government style, and so how did that era shape your perspective on personal growth and resilience and how it really, probably really helped shape some of who you are today?

Speaker 3: 19:06

Oh, definitely shaped a lot of who I guess who I was and part of who I am today. So when I grew up, I was born in 83. And at the time, Romania was a communist country still and it was entering a period of scarcity and fear because of many things happening around the world at the time, which meant that I was surrounded by people not having even the basics. I'm not saying about my family, because I was shielded by that. Now, keep in mind I was a young boy. However, you have that in your society, you have that in your school and you have it everywhere. So that permeates and you get imprinted on and, of course, my parents and my grandparents that raised me were impacted by that. They were doing their best to shield me from it and I was fortunate with that. And I didn't realize until much later in life and when I say much later, I'm talking like the last few years how that impacted me and the traumas that were associated with that. And it wasn't until I dug in through my subconscious, through my limited beliefs, to realize some of those imprints.

Speaker 3: 20:09

One of the imprints that I realized fairly early in my life and unfortunately I did and I had the opportunity to get out of was that limited mindset idea and shift into a growth mindset. Because see in Romania and many of the Eastern European countries and of course, I see it in North America and Asia as well, and South America the idea that if you make a mistake, you have to either hide it, get punished for it or never talk about it, as opposed to when, let's call it a mistake, you do something that doesn't go according to plan, instead of looking at it like, hey, this is an opportunity to learn. You know what Pat ourselves on the back? We tried, let's learn and do it better next time.

Speaker 3: 20:51

So when you go in with a limited mindset which is what I had initially, it doesn't give you as much room for growth, Because how can you grow if you're not going to learn from everything you've done in the past? It's going to learn from everything you've done in the past. It's like. It's like you have gifts that you left unopened and they have these magical tools for you to overcome whatever challenges you're facing. And that was the that was a huge piece of my transition earlier in my 20s, I would say, is when I started. It really kick-started in my early 30s and then, when I joined microsoft. Their entire culture is allowed around the growth mindset. That's why I can truly understand where it is, and being around people that are that way allowed me to elevate myself much faster.

Speaker 1: 21:31

Wow, that's so powerful.

Speaker 1: 21:32

I was just taking a ton of notes there and one of the things that when you talked about the scarcity and the fear and really that's what we felt and experienced through the pandemic we continue to see it.

Speaker 1: 21:43

I see it now that we're on the other side of this thing and I see how people are working and how they impact the cure, so to speak. The cure was worse than the actual illness. In my opinion, and where we're sitting at, and I see us in Canada here going in a downward spiral of that type of mindset of lots of scarcity, lots of fear. And I think we can do that. We can change that perspective for people. Just like you said, maybe in your home environment you don't notice it, but when everything around you is leading you to believe that that's what the truth is, then we need to be able, we need to shape that and change that perspective, and I think one of the ways that we can do that is really working and having some key principles and strategies, and so I know you have a set that you use in your, in your program. Tell us a little bit about what your key principles and strategies are to help people believe that they can unlock their full potential.

Speaker 3: 22:44

Absolutely, and I agree with what you've said in the sense that the mental health pandemic essentially came out of. The pandemic is a lot worse than most people think, and it's not just that I look at myself and I know how I was impacted, but everyone else around me, from family to friends, co-workers everyone has had some sort of impact or at least know someone that has had an impact on their mental health. So it's up to us to help ourselves first and then be able to help others, because through my journey, through me being able to help myself, now people around me are getting inspirations from that, but also it's almost like they get permission that they can to go after it and get hope that they can achieve it. One of the things I'm passionate about and I mentioned to you earlier just a hint is psychology. You see, if I could go back in time, I would study psychology over mathematics. But there's a reason. Everything happened the way it did.

Speaker 3: 23:39

Now, why does psychology fascinate me? It's because of what I've uncovered about the human mind, about us, as things the psychology about yourself, so how you think, how you talk to yourself, how you feel about yourself, and then the psychology of the people around you. So I gave you an example with my work. Right? If I come from a place of fear, negativity and that's going to fit it's going to impact all my relationships. It's going to impact my feelings. It's going to impact everything I do, my actions and then, of course, also the relationships you have with people like who is in your circle.

Speaker 3: 24:28

If you surround yourself with people that are always negative, how are you going to try to be positive in the scenario? I mean, you can be, but you're going to be brought down pretty fast. I was that person in many scenarios, right? And the third piece is the psychology about the world around you. Right? Because if we turn on the tv and we watch news for a few hours a day and it's all talking about war and, let's say, recession and everything that's bad, because it's rarely anything good on the news, because it doesn't sell then what's going to happen to your life, right? I mean, of course you pick up thoughts from that.

Speaker 3: 24:57

Then the thoughts turn into feelings, the feelings turned into action right, and then the feelings turned into action right and then the actions turned into what you have, and it's just a repeating cycle. So unless you go back to your thoughts and start changing those, you can't really impact anything, and your thoughts are impacted by your environment. So when I work with my clients, it doesn't matter if it's someone that pays me or someone I mentor at microsoft or my life. It all starts with the psychology, with the thoughts we have about ourselves, others and the world around us. And when we shape that, when we realize that we hold the power for all of that, that's when things start to change.

Speaker 3: 25:35

And I see people, even within one conversation, within one hour, have a different outlook on life. And then they're excited to do the exercises. They're excited to say you know what? I'm going to approach life differently. Because guess what and Einstein said this very well right, you keep doing the same things again. You're going to have the same results. That's the definition of insanity. And I fell into the trap. Most of my life I thought you know what? I just work harder at the same thing I did before and it's going to be better.

Speaker 1: 26:03

Absolutely not, because we continue to grind out the same result and then we get frustrated. I really like those three aspects of starting within and slowly expanding that, not just our perspectives in the psychology, but also the influence that we as I'm listening to you talk, I think of I came across the quote the essence of destiny years ago and it really left, it really lived with me and still does. It's a real driving motive and it really starts with our thoughts. You know managing our thoughts because they become words, words become actions, actions become habits, habits become our character and our character ultimately becomes our destiny. And so it starts with how we're thinking about things, how are we thinking about it, and the meaning and the stories.

Speaker 1: 26:55

And so thank you for framing that piece for us, because it's so true and that's where we need to stay. And I know you also do work. You're a podcaster as well and you have the Unleash Yourself podcast. So tell me a little bit about how that came to be, how is it serving the world today and what's the kind of work you're doing with it.

Speaker 3: 27:14

Yeah, absolutely. So before I jump in, I just want to add one more thing, because you touched beautifully on the thoughts piece and I want people to hear this. I mean, I'm someone that I thought that you cannot change your circumstances in certain ways. Your thoughts are your thoughts and you cannot change that. Right, and I was very, very wrong. And I meet a lot of people in my life that think the same way. Now it might be that you know, you grew up in Eastern Europe or in Asia, or you grew up in Latin America or North America, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 3: 27:38

I see this pattern across the board. Why? Because that's what we see growing up, that's what we see in school, that's what we see in society, in school, that's what we see in society. However, you can absolutely change your patterns. So what you continuously do is what you'll continuously do, meaning that if you have success in your life and success builds on success so the more you do things, so the more self-love you show yourself, the more self-love you'll have for yourself, and then you can extend that to others around you, because you cannot give something you do not have. So if you don't even love yourself, then you're not going to love anyone else, not to the level you could. And that goes, of course, with your passions and everything else. If you want to fully get into your passions and give the most out of them, it has to start with you. And that leads me to the podcast, because when I discovered my why and my purpose after months and months and months of work, it took me another six months after discovering to find out how I'm going to implement that more in my life.

Speaker 3: 28:36

The podcast was one of the ideas I said. You know what? There's so many amazing people out there that have overcome challenging things. I want to bring them on the podcast and share inspiration and empowerment with the world. And that's what my show started as unleash thyself. It was about literally there's. You know double meaning. Right, you can remove the leash that, let's say, society put on you because it confined you in such a tiny box, or your parents or your family you decide what box you are in but also because unleashing yourself means you're like essentially becoming who you're always meant to be, and if you're kept small mostly by yourself, usually because your thoughts keep you small then you're not going to unleash the best version of yourself. And that's what really the podcast is about how to help people, inspire them, empower them, guide them and support them on this path of unleashing themselves as I unleash myself, so that's why I call it Unleash Thyself.

Speaker 3: 29:29

And right now. I made a bit of a shift a few months ago where I still have guests coming on the show, but instead of twice a week, I have guests once a week, and once a week I take a topic and I do a deep dive into it, either with my personal stories I look at the science side of it, the spirituality side of it, so I do a deep dive into it. For example, I look at things such as gratitude practices like what's the science behind it? Right, because we and I don't really know that being grateful for what you have is going to bring even more things in your life and it's going to make your life better. But they've done research, they're showing the impact they can have, and it doesn't take much it's minutes a day, right and you start realizing all the things you have around you that most other people might want, like even just as simple as clean water, right? Or some food on the table.

Speaker 1: 30:18

Yeah, we take. So, being in North America, here, we take so many things for granted. Right, we get up. You know, for the vast majority of us I know it's not an absolute, but the vast majority of us get up every day. Roof over our head fridge that's got food in it, you know, we have vehicles or modes of transportation that we can get through, that's safe, and, and we forget to have that all the things that we can be grateful for. And one of the things that my wife and I started doing consistently over the last couple of years was having a prayer gratitude before dinner. You know. So, yes, there's doing, saying grace, but we really have made it a gratitude piece of what, of everything that we're grateful for in that moment. And so I think it's important that we do that as as people, because, because we forget right, we forget this that everything that we have is just and I love that part that you just said, the word.

Speaker 3: 31:10

That's really important for people to, to really think about the word forget. Yeah, because I'll give you another example. Not just with gratitude, right. We of course we forget what we have and we take it for granted. But look at your own life like that, let's take it just as an individual level. You forget all the amazing things you've done in your life, all the amazing things you do every day. Why? Because a lot of us, especially if you're someone that wants to achieve more in life, you're always looking at what was not done in a day, in a week, in a month, right.

Speaker 3: 31:42

So I remember going to bed and and looking at like, oh, I wish I would have done this and this and this. And it wasn't until I started to look at what have I accomplished first that everything changed. And it's not enough to just look at what you have accomplished. You want to add a layer of celebration in it, like, literally, celebrate for yourself because you have done some amazing things, right, even just waking up and brushing your teeth and making the bed, that's worth celebrating. And what happens then? You're rewiring your brain to allow you to see the beauty in everything that's around you and not focus on the negativity, the fear as much, because, again, you're rewiring the brain, you're not forgetting anymore. To your point, right, you're remembering, and the more you remember, the more you will remember, right?

Speaker 1: 32:30

So yeah, what a great, what a great way to pivot that. Thank you, and I you're saying it talked about. You know, what do we normally do and is we think about, especially if you're, you know, an A type personality, a go-getter, you're trying to accomplish things and you're thinking about all the things you haven't done. And I was just this, it just went. Yes, it's what I do far too often. All these are the things I didn't do, and maybe instead, you know, I'll start with all the things I did do and the stuff that didn't get done just become the new number one for the next day or that part of that exactly.

Speaker 3: 33:02

So one of the exercises I get my my clients to do, for example, is let's say, we're done this interview here, in however many minutes. I will first celebrate and say, yes, that was a good conversation. I look at what went well first and say, okay, you know the connection, the conversation, all these topics. And then I look at not what went bad, but rather what could be done better next time, and what it does. It provides you a frame in which you can look and say, okay, how can I improve this? And you can say okay for next time.

Speaker 3: 33:35

So, instead of beating yourself up because what do most of us do and that's me included in the past I'll finish a conversation with you or any podcaster and I'll be like oh, I can't believe I talked about that and I forgot to talk about that other part. I can't believe I said this in a certain way and I wanted to say it in a different way, and you get into this loop where you beat yourself up and beat yourself up and that's it, and then it keeps repeating because that's the pattern you're in. So it's about interrupting the pattern, changing the pattern, and then now you have new behaviors that you can drive.

Speaker 1: 34:07

Absolutely the pattern, and then now you have new behaviors that you can drive absolutely and when and when I hear him, when I'm hearing you saying is you're really talking about searching for excellence versus searching for perfection? Yes, and the reason why I say that is that, in turn, in searching for excellence, you're looking for what you like you said things that I could do better and searching for perfection is about looking at what I did wrong, and that's a, that's a. You know you're going in a similar direction, but it's a different mindset. We've talked all this whole interview today has talked really about that fixed mindset and that's those nuances that we get caught, get ourselves caught in into, isn't it when?

Speaker 1: 34:43

we think we're on that scarcity side. That's really a scarcity mindset. That perfection prevents us from taking action. Right, it makes it. It's, it's the hidden piece that we, how we self-sabotage in our goal to get something done, so cause it's not perfect. And that's how I was when I first started.

Speaker 1: 35:01

This is the third year into the podcast. That first year of podcasting was really sporadic, right, because it needed to be perfect, and, oh, I stumbled on my words and I, you know, editing it for hours upon end. And then, finally, I just thought, you know, after listening to a few podcasts and going, well, there's lots of folks that I listened to that are really, you know, good podcasters, I think, you know got huge followings and they're just average people, you know there's just let it go. And so I think you know that distinction you're bringing forward. There is about how we can process some of those practical tips that we like to talk about here, and so that was going to be. My next question is if you could share a practical tip, maybe another one, or an exercise that you take individuals through to help them cultivate a more holistic approach to their personal development.

Speaker 3: 35:48

Absolutely. There's a couple I always recommend and there's one that will sound crazy. You'll probably laugh. I did the same thing when my mentor taught me this, and it's an exercise that I do now every day, multiple times a day. However, when I share this exercise with people, I only ask them to do them once a day upon waking up and when they go to the bathroom. So this is what I recommend you wake up, get out of bed, go to the washroom or wherever you have a mirror, look in the mirror, take a deep breath in, put a big smile on your face and say four magical words, and those words are your name I love you. So, in my case, I have a big smile on my face. I say Constantine, I love you. And I look myself in the eyes and you will cringe, you may even cry, you may even look away the first few times. But what does that do? If you look from a psychology point of view, from a science point of view, just the effort of you taking a deep breath in and putting a smile on your on your face.

Speaker 3: 36:49

You interrupted, whatever pattern you're in Maybe you're thinking about how busy your day is going to be, or you hit your toe on the bed and it hurts. Now All that got interrupted and you're replacing it with a feeling of happiness. Because, see, when you smile like generally smile, dopamine gets released in your brain. See, when you smile like generally smile, dopamine gets released in your brain. And they've done research where it's equal in parts with like when you're happy. It could be as good as sex or any other things that bring us pleasure. So it's about bringing yourself in that mood and starting the day on the right foot. But we don't end there, right. So you, you say constantine, I love you, or whatever your name is right. And then you celebrate, you say yes, and you know, you pat yourself on the chest I do or you take your hand and pat yourself on the back Again, you're reinforcing it Because your brain is going to do this. It's going to say wait a second. That felt good. What happened? Why did it feel good? And then, the more you do it, it's becoming a pattern. So then the brain is going to do it automatically.

Speaker 3: 37:41

And how did this practice evolved for me? I did it at the beginning, in the mornings, and I'll be honest with you, I wasn't perfect at the beginning. I was like, ah, this is cringe worthy. I wasn't even looking at myself, I was just saying it because that's what I was asked to do and I didn't really understand. I did a bit more digging and I'm like, oh, it makes sense.

Speaker 3: 38:02

And now, literally every time I go by a mirror, even in the car, I even sometimes look. You know, when I take a photo, I'm like, oh, I'll turn it to selfie and I'll say that I have the biggest smile on my face. It literally changes my entire mood. It's a way to cut my bad thoughts or patterns out really quickly, because then you can take that to the next level and say, okay, let's say, I mean, I finished a meeting at work and it was tough, and I have these thoughts going in my mind that are not thoughts I want to entertain. It's about interrupting those thoughts and replace them with something good. So this is one exercise Take a deep breath, put a smile on your face, do something physical if you can right, Get up, get walking. Those are all things that one can do, and as soon as you start interrupting more and more and more again, you're rewiring your brain to do it more and more and more.

Speaker 1: 38:52

I love that for sure, and yes, it is cringeworthy when you first start doing that.

Speaker 3: 38:59

That's why I say it's a bit crazy. However, it worked for me. It works for everyone I've worked with so far. If they're willing to try it and I say you know, try it for seven days. If it's not for you toss it out after. No tool is going to work for 100% of the people. However, there's a variation that might, so give it a shot. If it doesn't work for you, no problem, go to the next thing.

Speaker 1: 39:14

Yeah, it might not work right out of the gate. Your brain might start to want to just discard that. What are you doing? And all that negative self-talk. That's probably a good thing that that's happening, because you're on the right path and so, yes, absolutely Give it a shot, give it a chance and something that, something that I do as well.

Speaker 1: 39:33

Whenever there's tough time, you know, I'll say you know I love you, alan, and it gives me opportunity to to get re-centered and focused about what's truly important. And you know, and that, and, and it's just a simple practice and something that all of us can do. And you know what, as guys at least my experience growing up there wasn't a lot of that type of love in the house, so to speak. Right, it wasn't very often that that. I don't recall very often, if at all, my parents saying that they loved us as little toddlers being held.

Speaker 1: 40:06

I'm the oldest of five. Yes, I could see that playing out, and that's how I knew and recognized that there was love in the home as well as a few other things. But the idea of someone telling you that they love you, let alone yourself, was foreign for a lot of us guys, right, because it's not how we were raised, especially if you're my age. I'm in my mid 50s, so it was a different era back then. If you're my age, I'm in my mid fifties, so it was a different era back then.

Speaker 3: 40:30

Yeah, and I would say that even now I see it all the time. And another thing that a lot of people haven't done and I'm looking at my family as well, and those around me not teaching their children how to love themselves yeah, and that's a big one, because I didn't know how to love myself. I didn't even know what he meant. I thought it was what gurus talk about just to sell a few books and whatnot. Right, because you find a lot of self-love books out there, but you don't find that in most families what they teach you or they show you how to do it. Because see us as children, when we grow up, especially between zero and seven years old, we are sponges because our conscious mind is not really formed yet. It's all about our subconscious mind absorbing everything. So it's not that even they have to teach us. They have to teach by example.

Speaker 3: 41:14

So, if they don't have self-love which most people don't, unfortunately, because they've had a tough life and, like you said, you grew up 50 years ago, I grew up 40 years ago, 35 years ago. Times were tough, right, and you may have grown up in a part of the world where times were tough maybe war, maybe scarcity, maybe fear, whatever the case might be. So that means those people didn't have the tools either. So we can extend grace to our parents, to our families, understand that they did their best. However, it stops with us. We have a choice. So now, if you bring someone into the world, it's your responsibility to show and lead by example. That's my take, anyway.

Speaker 1: 41:49

I completely agree with that. You mentioned mentors a little bit earlier in the conversation here today, and so what's been the best piece of advice that you've been given from a mentor or from someone in your life, and how has that served you?

Speaker 3: 42:03

It's a great question. I love it. There's quite a bit that was given to me. I would say one of the most influential pieces of advice that was given to me recently came around having an open mind and what that can lead to. Because, see, I always had an open mind, the thought I had but I came with a bit of judgment behind it, and this mentor helped me see how, even though I have an open mind, you're still clouded by judgment in certain regards. So this was probably a couple of years ago now and that really stuck with me. Because when you're talking about mentors, coaches, people in your corner, that's what the value of them is. The biggest value is that they can help you see the blind spots. They can help you see the things you're missing, at least the good ones right, the ones that are actually in your corner. They'll help you see what your blinders on are not allowing you to see. So for me, it was about removing those blindness and realizing all the beauty around those opportunities that I have missed otherwise.

Speaker 1: 43:02

That's outstanding. I like that and, yes, absolutely Having an open mind. Can still we we can still have be clouded with some judgments into about being able to work with that nuance? I'm sure, through the course of your career as well, that you've read many books, but I wonder if there was a book or two that really stood out for you. Maybe it's one you're reading right now. What's a book that really had a lot of impact for you that you've read?

Speaker 3: 43:25

yeah, that does. A lot of books you write. I would say one that I always talk about is Finding your why by Simon Sinek. This was probably six years ago now. I read it when I joined Microsoft because he happened to have a talk at Microsoft before I joined and I saw the recording and I saw the book and that shed more light on the idea of finding your why, which lets you know. Kind of I think that's a catalyst for myself. Finding my own why and purpose, because I use some of his methodologies and thoughts, was on my own. And now to the work I do today, because I truly understood from not necessarily a spiritual side, but more from a practical side why that's important and that's when it all clicked for me and it put me on this journey. Essentially, Nice.

Speaker 1: 44:09

Yeah, I love that book for sure. We had a great conversation here today, konstantin, but if there was one piece of advice or something we maybe didn't even get a chance to touch on today, what would be the one takeaway you'd want our guests to have?

Speaker 3: 44:21

Yeah, absolutely so. For those of you that can see video right here above my right side of my hand here I have a sign that says follow your heart, and that's truly what I believe life is about. We're so much in our heads and I'm no different. I've been up there in the head so much and still am. I'm still learning how to work with the heart in unison. But it's about following your heart, and that means, like we talked earlier, finding your why? Finding your purpose, because then you align with your heart and everything you do. It doesn't matter if it's in a corporate job or out on the construction site or you're a barista at Starbucks. You can do more of what's in your heart and that will bring more joy, more happiness as a result, more fulfillment, more abundance across all areas of life.

Speaker 1: 45:06

Yeah, absolutely Definitely something that, as men, we need to do more of to allow ourselves to be vulnerable. We started this whole conversation about for us being men as being vulnerable, and that's really the underlying lesson that we've been giving you here today, and so thank you so much, Constantine, for being here today and spending time, and I think we've been able to expand people's vision about where and how they can get a better connection with themselves and through their lives. But if men are interested in getting a hold of you and participating in any of our work, what would be the best way for them to do that?

Speaker 3: 45:36

Thank you. Thank you, aron, for that opportunity. So you can go to UnleashThyselfcom. You can find the podcast on any major platforms or YouTube and, of course, linkedin, for those in the professional world. You can find me there as Konstantin, without the E Bo Morun, my last name, and, of course, if you just want to send me an email, I will talk about anything personal development, professional development, self-discovery, even spirituality at Konstantin, at Unleash Thyselfcom. That's it.

Speaker 1: 46:04

Love it. I'm going to make sure all that information's in the show notes for this episode. It love it. I'm gonna make sure all that information's in the show notes for this episode. Once again, thank you so much, brother, for being on the show. Loved our conversation.

Speaker 2: 46:11

Thank you all and thank you so much thank you for listening to the revolutionary man podcast. Are you ready to own your destiny, to become more the man you are destined to be? Join the brotherhood that is the Awakened man at theawakendmannet and start forging a new destiny today.