Overcoming Sudden Cardiac Death and Redefining Resilience with Jeff Luther

Imagine watching your father collapse during a workout, only to be revived moments later. That's just the beginning of Jeff Luther's harrowing tale, which he shares with us in this gripping episode. Jeff, a devoted father and ultra runner, was hit with the shocking diagnosis of ARVC, a rare genetic heart condition, after suffering sudden cardiac death during a CrossFit session with his son. Join us as Jeff candidly recounts his journey from the heights of athletic achievement to the depths of fear and vulnerability, and how he found the strength to rebuild his life from the ground up.

We sit down with Jeff to unpack the emotional earthquake that followed his near-death experience. Stripped of his primary stress outlets and athletic identity, Jeff talks about the gruelling process of adapting to a new reality filled with yoga and golf instead of ultra marathons. His story is not just about physical recovery, but an exploration into the painful terrain of ego, identity, and the silent battles many men face but seldom discuss. With an open heart, Jeff reveals the complexities of family dynamics and the importance of communication in navigating the psychological impacts of his diagnosis on both himself and his loved ones.

In the final segment, Jeff shares invaluable lessons on confronting fear and embracing change, emphasizing the empowering role of mentorship. His "30-second rule" is a simple yet profound strategy that helped him and can help you overcome inertia and take the first steps towards daunting tasks. This episode is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power of storytelling. Listen and be inspired by Jeff's journey, and discover practical advice for your own path to resilience and purpose.

Key moments in this episode:
02:27 Jeff's Story: The Day Everything Changed 
07:05 The Diagnosis and Its Impact
10:54 Struggling with Identity and Ego
17:58 Ego and Joy in Running
18:30 Impact on Family: A Father's Perspective
18:58 Son's Struggles and Coping Mechanisms
22:09 Family Dynamics Post-Incident
25:16 Personal Recovery Journey
30:10 Facing Fear and Mortality
33:46 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

How to reach Jeff:
Website: https://www.home-probe.com/our-team/jeff-luther
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/georgiahomeinspection
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jdluther2.0/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeff-luther-50a87a1/

Chapters

• 0:00 The Hero's Quest
• 3:24 Life Changing Heart Condition and Identity
• 11:08 Navigating Ego and Pain Cave
• 15:28 Navigating Family Dynamics and Resilience
• 26:26 Confronting Fear and Mortality
• 31:09 Overcoming Fear and Taking Action
• 34:44 Empowering Change Through Shared Stories

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

It's said, we're given this one meat suit to live in life, and for some of us, we don't always do a great job of taking care of it. We're supposed to eat right, exercise, mental, emotional health. Doctors and fitness gurus will tell us that those are the things we need to do to live a healthy lifestyle. And then there are some of us to do all of those things only to be brought to our knees and almost dying. Stick around today, my friends, because today my guest shares an astonishing story of his journey, of coming back from dying while he was in the middle of a workout.

Speaker 1: 0:30

And before we get into all that, I just want you to know that being a man today has never been more challenging, and so, for many of us, this pain is real, and it's a pain of loneliness, it's a pain of unworthiness, and it's all because it's masked by our anger and our resentment, because we're afraid and uncertain to take that next step. And so if you're tired and fed up with where your life is at, I'm going to encourage you to start your hero's quest. It's where you get an opportunity to become more, to accomplish more and to live more than ever before. So just go to memberstheawakenmannet, and start your quest today With that. Let's get on with today's episode.

Speaker 2: 1:09

The average man today is sleepwalking through life, many never reaching their true potential, let alone ever crossing the finish line to living a purposeful life. Yet the hunger still exists, albeit buried amidst his cluttered mind, misguided beliefs and values that no longer serve him. It's time to align yourself for greatness. It's time to become a revolutionary man. Stay strong, my brother.

Speaker 1: 1:38

Welcome everyone to the Revolutionary man Podcast. I'm the founder of the Awakened man Movement and your host, alan DeMonso. Before we get started, let me ask you a question. Can you recall a time in your life when you felt you were dying or that the life, that the way you knew it, had ended? And I'm sure many of us have encountered such moments, and for me, it was the ending of my first marriage, and life to me was truly ending. Now, things I had taken for granted were pulled away and out from underneath me, and yet, as painful as that was, it is doesn't even compare or just truly pales in the comparison of actually dying. And so today, my guest and I share his incredible story about his experience and how this has made a profound shift in his life.

Speaker 1: 2:22

So allow me to introduce my guest. Jeff Luther is the father of three amazing men and in 2021, during a CrossFit workout with his 16-year-old son, jeff, suffered sudden cardiac death. The diagnosis that followed was life-altering in every aspect of his life, and I'm sure we're going to hear a ton more about that. Welcome to the show, jeff. How are things, my friend?

Speaker 3: 2:44

Oh man, things are great, things are great, thank you. Thanks so much for having me.

Speaker 1: 2:49

Yeah, I'm just really looking forward to this conversation. We talk about all of us being on our own hero's quest, and there's one big one it's our whole life journey. And then we have these other smaller ones in our lives, and the one that I would really like you to talk a little bit more about is this moment to explore, that moment at the gym and then getting the diagnosis. And how did that experience shape you into the man you are today and the work that you're doing?

Speaker 3: 3:12

Yeah, thank you for letting me tell my story and I'll start out with a small piece. That kind of it helps me with my story, but it's really more about my ego. Bear with me, please. June 5th 2021. In a former life, I'm an ultra runner. So June 5th 2021, I showed up to run an ultra. It was a 50K and that was my first overnight race. I was super excited and I showed up to win. So I tell that piece to tell people look, I'm fit, I'm a fit guy. I did everything right. Sadly, I came in second place. Man Kid ran me right off his wheels, but I knew I'd be back. I knew I could go back the next year and I knew I could win. I knew where I messed up. I knew I could win that race.

Speaker 3: 3:55

June 12th 2021, I was doing a CrossFit workout. It was a partnered workout. For any of you that have ever done a partnered Crossfit workout how it works If you get one slight advantage on your partner, then you can bury them. If they get one slight advantage on you, then you get buried. This is like tit for tat. So I was working out with my 16 year old son and he's a fire breather and I got an edge on him. So when I got an edge, I kept going. I was going harder and harder and then I'd been having some heart issues just palpitations, high heart rate, and it would go away.

Speaker 3: 4:28

And this day it happened. I remember everything I was doing wall balls and it happened. So I was like, ah, it'll pass. A few seconds went by and it didn't pass. So I stopped. It's like all right, I'll stop and it'll pass. Didn't pass. So I was like, oh my God, maybe I should take a knee. So I took a knee. Didn't pass. Oh, wow, I'll take two knees, it'll go away.

Speaker 3: 4:45

And about that time I got down to my other knee and I sat on my heels and the guy beside me was lifting while we were doing this workout. So he put his hand on my shoulder and he said are you okay? And in that instant all I could think was man, get your hand off of me. I'm scared, I'm vulnerable, I have no idea what's happening. It was the biggest thing I saw was my son's shoes walking over to me and I was out.

Speaker 3: 5:27

That was the easy part. Honestly, the easy part was the dying. I was out about eight minutes no pulse, no breath. They shocked me with an AED. Fortunately they had one there at the gym and that happened in front of my son and I learned from him that you do bounce off the ground when it hits you. The first shock, I had an audible flatline, so he heard that. And then, finally, I woke up and there's an important piece to this story that we'll hopefully get into.

Speaker 3: 5:54

But when I woke up I couldn't piece together the night before. But I remembered everything that morning and all I could think and I'm not a drinker all I could think was that I'd gotten drunk the night before Cause I had this horrible taste in my mouth. It was a horrible taste and it was like a hangover. It's like a really bad hangover. So I looked at the coach and I said man, I'm so sorry, I must've gotten drunk last night. And I came to work out and I passed out and he said, no, man, that's not it, and that the EMTs were coming in to put me on a stretcher and all that stuff.

Speaker 3: 6:24

At that point and they started to explain the magnitude of what had happened and it just didn't. It didn't register to me, cause I woke up like are we going to finish this workout or what? Why is everyone standing around and why am I wet? Cause everyone. They poured, they put ice and water on me. They thought I'd gotten too hot.

Speaker 3: 6:38

I went to the hospital and I wasn't even going to go on an ambulance. I'm male, I'm smart, right, I'm an athlete, I'm tough, I'm strong. I'm too tough to go to the hospital, so I wasn't even going to go and I decided to go. It was in the hospital for three days. I went through a lot of tests, a lot of evaluation. They put me through a psychological evaluation. They insisted on drug use because they couldn't find anything wrong with me. They were like look at you, you're fine, look at you.

Speaker 3: 7:06

So ultimately, on June the 15th, I was diagnosed with ARVC, which is arrhythmogenic right ventricular cardiomyopathy. It's an electrical issue, it's not a plumbing issue, and I was told that it was from a genetic mutation that causes the fibers in the heart, in the wall of the heart. When they tear, they get infiltrated with scar tissue and fat deposit. So that was creating my electrical problem. I was like, wow, this doesn't, this isn't going to go well with my exercise, Like how do I do that? And I said, oh yeah, you can still exercise, but it's going to be limited to yoga and golf. And my world closed in on me. That's what I did and that was my connection with my son. I got him into it. That's how I relieve stress. Running was my safe place and it all was taken from me. And man did that, start a downward spiral.

Speaker 3: 8:02

I know it seems a bit benign where you just find something else, but it got worse because every time I tell my story I know what people are going to say. They say wow, you must be so grateful. Wow, you're not done yet. Wow, there's a big plan for you on earth. And all I can think is no, I'm bitter, I'm angry, I'm sad, and so that made me feel like it just made me feel like a real piece of crap. All this had just happened. I can't find gratitude. How selfish am I.

Speaker 3: 8:33

And then it just snowballed. I got the surgery, I got a defibrillator implanted and that was on the 15th 30 days. I couldn't pick up a jug of milk, couldn't do anything, had the surgery and after my 30 days was up, I did what any smart male athlete would do I went back to the gym. I didn't believe my diagnosis. I didn't believe what they told me. I refused it and I knew they had the wrong person. Yeah, they're doctors and all, but how smart can they be? So I go back to the gym with my 16-year-old son and the first we're doing we're doing the bear complex, which is like a deadlift a clean, hanging clean, a squat clean and then an overhead movement. So it's a heavy barbell movement and you're under load for 30 or 40 seconds and it happened again.

Speaker 3: 9:18

And then yeah, that's when. So it happened. I was out, I blacked out for 30 seconds, but I never lost my balance. My son never knew what happened. I leaned over on a little counter that was there beside me but I got that same taste in my mouth. So that taste my heart goes into atrial fibrillation. So it beats at 380 beats a minute. It just vibrates, so it doesn't pump blood. So that taste is when all the blood goes out of your head and then when it comes back, you can taste it and it's so. Then death became real to me. It all became real. I can tell you what death tastes like. I wish I couldn't, but I can. And at that point I knew that life had changed. That's when it really changed.

Speaker 3: 10:07

I became scared to go up a flight of steps. I was scared to take a shower because I was in the bathroom by myself. Everything I did was around my heart rate. I was constantly watching my heart rate. I wouldn't run. I refused to run. It was talk about a dark place and I didn't know how. I didn't know how to get help. I didn't know how to help myself. I couldn't do anything. I was totally paralyzed with fear. I was paralyzed with being a victim. I was paralyzed with sadness, I was paralyzed with anger, with bitterness, all of it. It was. It was a tough time. So that's a lot there. There's more to the story, but is there any? Do you have questions about anything? Anything, I skipped over.

Speaker 1: 10:48

Yeah, man, there's just a ton of stuff there that you're touching on that for sure we're going to get into in this conversation. You touched on about, really about ego stuff and I have some questions I want to ask you around that and how we barely frame our identity as men around these different things and right, and how we have to really work through that. And then you talked about the, the impact on family, and I definitely want to talk about not just your son, your, the, your family overall and then the emotional aspect of it and dealing with you. Know, we're talking, you're really talking about loss again and grief, and you're going through all of those steps, those famous steps and denial.

Speaker 1: 11:28

But hey, man, I can make this happen, I'll negotiate, I'll just go back to the gym and then life just smacks you in the head and say yeah, buddy, no, you're not and you're going to learn downward dog first and be around for your family because they need you. But before we get into that, I really we get into these different, doing different things in our lives, and so fitness has been such a big part of your life and then you settled into doing CrossFit. So just tell, take it, let's just go back a little bit further. And how did you come to have fitness to become so important, and how did CrossFit and ultra marathons be part of your identity? How did that come to form?

Speaker 3: 12:07

I'm going to get totally vulnerable here and tell you that I have. I have a real problem with deserving Like I can give. I have a hard time receiving and it's always easier for me to punish myself than it is to celebrate my wins. And man, to go run a 50K overnight in a national forest through a swamp that's punishment. Go into the pain cave is a place of comfort for me. It sounds as dumb coming out of my mouth as it does hitting your ears, but that's it. It's like I thrive beating myself up, and when I'm in it, when I'm in it, I'm like, oh my, why am I doing this? So stupid. But when it's over, I love it and I love training to get to it, and so that's where I. That's how I ended up there.

Speaker 3: 12:56

Crossfit was a good tool for me that I could go. I could go get that that hard workout in. I could hit that point where you almost lose consciousness and I could do it in under an hour. And then ultra running was like my total checkout. That was my total checkout where I could. I was isolated to my pain. When you're at mile 28 of a 33 mile race, I was isolated in my own pain and it was nothing to do except go forward. You take a step, as, like you talked about in the intro. You take a step, the ground will find you, it will find you, and that was it. So that's probably my story. I just like to get in the pain cave and I'm working on it. I'm working on it.

Speaker 1: 13:39

Yeah, listen, it's. I'm always interested and fascinated to see how people challenge themselves and when they're doing that where it's coming from a place where it's coming from. And so, jeff, I just want to say thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing that with us, because sometimes we don't we see the persona of the man, we don't understand the workings of it and how it's come to, how he's come to be. And for me me that's so important for us to really grasp that we come from all these different perspectives but we're dealing with the same stuff. Dealing with stuff of potentially, in my interpretation of the unworthiness, the pain, the lack of loneliness, which is why I talk about about that in our work here. And so it's important that when we we talk about these things and you're willing to share that, that guys get to hear that, hey, listen, if anybody was to look at you, I'm sure they go.

Speaker 1: 14:28

This guy's got it all together, he's in great shape, right, great family, everything's going on. And what's going, what's happened? Like this, like life just throws a curveball and it's about how we deal with thing. And so when you think about, when you let's get into talking about, you just touched a little briefly on the ego, of what the ego had lots of influence in your life, obviously, and so now to some extent it's been both positive and negative for you. So talk a little bit about how you're dealing with the ego part of you still, and where and how are you managing it today as you used to before the incident?

Speaker 3: 15:01

Yeah, whoa, man, that's it sounds. You are super sharp, like you are hitting all the buttons. Okay, something I've realized very recent when we fall, our ego falls faster and it falls further than we do. We have to keep going. We have to. We have to do these simple things. We have to eat, we have to sleep, we have to work. We have to do these things. Our ego does not. But we have a hard time separating from our ego.

Speaker 3: 15:28

So when I started, when I was given the diagnosis of yoga and golf, I'm an ultra runner. I'm the guy at the gym that runs a sub six mile and deadlifts twice his body weight. That's what I'm known for. I'm almost 50. I'm that guy. I'm not a. I don't do yoga. I'm not a downward dog guy. That was my ego.

Speaker 3: 15:46

The hardest part was getting. I couldn't see hope because I couldn't see ever running a sub six mile again. Who cares? It's not like a sponsor is going to pull their sponsorship. I'm like who cares? And it was all about my ego and man. Locking my ego down in the basement was one of the best things I have ever done, and if you hear that banging during the show, that's that bastard down in the basement trying to get out. Your ego falls faster and further than you do. But you have a choice. You can hang out down there with your ego and let it pull you down, or you can just take a step. You can keep moving. The ground's going to find you and I didn't realize that I was so bitter in what I couldn't do and my ego wouldn't let me see what I could do. It was tough.

Speaker 1: 16:34

Yeah, it's funny how that guy plays.

Speaker 1: 16:36

It plays around with us and manipulates our peace, and I've heard it said, and I'm going to probably butcher this quote, but it's about being mastering our mind.

Speaker 1: 16:45

And so the mind or the ego is can be a tyrannical master or it can become a masterful slave, and it's all up to us to decide how we want to tame that little bastard. And and it's tough right, and in some aspects we've got him in check, different aspects of our life, we can keep him under wraps, but then there are other parts that it's not so good and he comes in when I talk about that. For me, that ego part is that bitch voice that's going to tell me it's okay, you can have a couple of beers tonight, and it's not going to be two beers, it's going to be six or eight, and I don't have to go to the gym this morning, I'll go to, I'll go tomorrow morning, off of the typical Monday, and when we allow that that tyrannical master just take to build upon it, then we're the ones that suffer. And so I like that you're talking about in recognizable ego piece, because I think for many of us guys we don't pay attention to him right.

Speaker 3: 17:39

We know he's there and we choose to ignore him. I'm not egotistical. That's not egotistical. To want to run a mile fast, that's not egotistical. That's fitness. That's not egotistical. To want to snatch 185 pounds, that's fitness. It's all ego. It is all ego. And the more I can set my ego aside and focus on being present, the less I'm stealing joy from myself. When I go for a run and I look at my watch and I'm running, I'm at an eight and a half minute pace and it makes me sad. I just took all of my joy away from that run. Every bit of joy that I had from that run my ego just stole from me. Why do I want to do that? Why even go?

Speaker 1: 18:25

Yeah, totally agree. It's interesting how that plays in us. Do I want to do that? Yeah, why even go? Yeah, totally agree, it's interesting how that, how that plays in us. I want to get into talk about a bit about your family, and we'll start with your son. So how has this experience changed your son's life? To start, first question. Second question I have for you is does he think differently now and if so, how? So? First, how has it changed his life?

Speaker 3: 18:44

Oh man, initially, initially, there's a lot to unpack there. I'll try to hopefully hey those of you out there that are listening with kids, pay attention. And Alan, I know you're open and contact him Any questions that you have. Here's what I know for certain is my son wouldn't process it. He wouldn't process it. We couldn't watch movies on television like war movies, action movies, sirens, cinema over the edge, but he was quote fine. He kept pushing it down and pushing it down, and pushing it down and one day, when we were going to do, I started moving again Because for him, really for my kids, my youngest son wants to be a power lifter.

Speaker 3: 19:30

He's in the gym. My middle son, he was a soccer player at the time, super fit like running, exercising all the time, so I'd still move a little bit. We were doing a writing a workout one day and I wrote it out for him and there were some movements in there. I said, okay, I'm going to scale this. He's like why are you scaling that? You can lift that. I was like, yeah, dude, I can't do that, it's not part of my routine. He looked at me and said, yeah, you can. You're just scared, I understand. And that hit me because then I so that's projection. Right, he was projecting. He didn't know I was scared. I wasn't scared, I just knew I couldn't do it. So he was projecting that on me. Then I knew that he had that fear.

Speaker 3: 20:09

We had to put them through all of the testing. They had to all go get EKGs, mris, all of the things to get their heart looked at, because it's genetic. So that put the fear in them for a little while. But the further time is your friend right, and the further you get away from it, the less urgent it is. So we bring it up constantly, we talk about it constantly, and the world is big, the world is big man, so sometimes we feel really small and when we say things out loud they're not so scary. So we talk about it all the time.

Speaker 3: 20:48

He went to a therapist and it was. I think he went through four sessions and the therapist was like, yeah, it sticks with him. He's scared, but he's okay, just talk about it. Let him process it and I'll ask him questions. I've gotten, I do some workouts. Now we can talk more about that. I've carved out my own path. He has stopped asking me halfway through if I'm okay. So the other two try to keep it light and keep it comical. They didn't see it happen, so it's not necessarily real to them.

Speaker 3: 21:18

Now I've got this ICD installed, so during the summer when we're swimming and stuff, they all make fun of it, and so we're trying to normalize it.

Speaker 1: 21:26

Sure man, I love that. Thank you very much for sharing that as well, and I think we do take that for granted with our kids. Right, I am fine and they aren't fine. Yeah, they're trying to process stuff. They're sick, whatever age they are, and they're just trying to make sense of it and and they don't know how, and so to be able to understand and pick up that he was projecting is really cool.

Speaker 1: 21:48

That you're able to do that, and I think, as parents, if we can pay attention to what our kids are not saying to us it's not the words that just said, but what's really going on behind that, Because it's going to affect them right. How they're going to perform in life based on that experience is really going to be up to us to help guide them through it. And so that was really outstanding and that really leads into the next part of it was to get an understanding of how is this dynamic now shape your family. Overall, it sounds like you're making you guys have some fun with it a little bit like it's keeping a little bit lighthearted, but I'm sure the family has changed a little bit about that, about things, and so how does how? Was this family different today than it was prior to the incident?

Speaker 3: 22:32

Yeah, that is a great question, and you don't recognize it. It's you haven't seen a friend for four years and he comes over and he's.

Speaker 3: 22:40

Oh, wow, your son's so tall? No, he's not. He was this tall yesterday, so I'll answer that. You touched on something a second ago, though, that I think is important and something that I did, and I'm not bragging about it. When my son would say he was fine, it was like whew. Well, I don't have to have that difficult conversation. So I'll challenge all of your listeners to chat push back just a little bit when they say they're fine. Are you going to accept that for you? Are you going to accept that for them? Push back a little bit.

Speaker 3: 23:11

So the way it changed our family, I will say that we notice more, we're more. Me and my boys were more observant, and if you I'm sure everyone's gathered I haven't mentioned a spouse in this, so I was going through a divorce at the time too. Yeah, yeah, man, we can connect on that later. I feel your pain. I'm sorry that it happened. It's the worst experience, but we notice, we observe more.

Speaker 3: 23:37

My kids have always been. My kids are amazing. I truly hit the lottery when it comes to kids. My boys are amazing. They've always been respectful. My boys are amazing. They've always been respectful. That's always just been one of our values.

Speaker 3: 23:53

And now my kids. They're genuinely kind, they're present, they slow down and that was the biggest change that I noticed and it wasn't like this overnight change and that was part of this whole thing. You would think that I would hit the ground every morning on my knees crying and praying and being so grateful to be alive, but it came so slow and, honestly, it's been over two years and I haven't really shared my story. So this is one of the first venues. But they have become so observant and so present and they're patient, they're kind to people and I think they genuinely see beyond what's right in front of them in the moment.

Speaker 3: 24:35

And I attribute that to my issue, to the heart issue the way the boys pulled together when I was in the hospital and Cash, my oldest son, was dealing with his emotions around it. That dynamic has changed and when we get into moments of seriousness, like a lot of teen boys, there's a lot of grab ass and constantly the humor deflects a serious conversation. So instead of being uncomfortable, we'll just laugh it off. My kids turn the opposite. They go into the danger when we have a difficult conversation and I believe that's where that stems from. So for that, that I'm grateful, for that.

Speaker 1: 25:13

Yeah, absolutely, that's phenomenal. That's phenomenal. Is there a particular moment or maybe a person that has really stood out for you that had that you really looked at as a source of strength when you were going through your recovery?

Speaker 3: 25:25

Oh boy, absolutely. So I'll pick up where I left off with the story. So the first, when I first started getting my feet under me after that happened, the second time I was just I wouldn't say I'd given up, but I lost all hope. I didn't lose all hope. I knew there was no hope, which I think is worse than losing hope. Right, I knew for certain there was no hope. I had taken my dog to the beach. I was walking on the beach and that's where I would go, for I would go run interval intervals at the beach with my dog. That was. He would go swim and I would run intervals and that was our thing. So I'm walking on the beach and I'm bitter and I'm like wow, it's just weird, some people have a shellfish allergy and some people don't Bear with me here. I'll get back on track. Some people have a shellfish allergy, some people don't.

Speaker 3: 26:11

People react differently to medicine and some people don't. And I'm just walking along thinking I was like maybe my body is going to be different to this disease, maybe my prognosis isn't what they tell me. I did what any smart male athlete would do. I went back to the gym. I'd been researching this disease, researching this diagnosis, and I was learning things that other I'll use the word athletes were doing, how they were staying active, and so I got with a coach at the gym and I asked him if he would be willing to work with me just a couple of days a week so that I could move. So he and I put a plan together. This was Phil. Galasco is the guy's name. Talk about an angel. He's an angel, I don't know how else to put it. He was the one that put the defibrillator on me when it all happened or one of the ones.

Speaker 3: 27:02

It was certainly a group effort, so we wrote out a plan group effort.

Speaker 3: 27:11

So we wrote out a plan. I showed up at the gym and the first day I had to go to the gym when it was closed. Because all of the good things you get from exercise, those are all bad for me. The endorphins any neurotransmitter that goes through the heart is bad for my heart, sure. So we set this whole thing up. I met him at the gym and I got on the echo bike. I rode that for four minutes, no problem. Heart rate went up just a little bit, no big deal. And I'm okay, I'm safe, I'm comfortable.

Speaker 3: 27:35

And then we started the. We stretched and did a few little minor things and then we started the workout and it was all. It was just a circuit workout, just move from one station to the next, just move my body. And we started out with kettlebell swings, just a lighter weight, russian kettlebell swings. And I did about eight and I started crying like crying. I couldn't finish the workout.

Speaker 3: 28:01

I quit and I was bawling, crying, and he said what's wrong? I said I'm scared, I'm afraid and I'm done. He said, okay, yep, no problem, be done, take a few minutes, give me 30 seconds of work and then we're done. He said no, I don't think you understand, I'm done. And there was a lot of cussing in there and I was cussing at him and everybody else get it, you're done, give me 30 seconds of work and we'll be done. That's it. And so I refused, I became a quitter and I became okay with quitting and I quit right there and he said look, man, I have a client at four o'clock, and this was like 1030. He said I have a client at four o'clock. I'll sit here all day. You're not done. Give me 30 seconds of work. You can break it up however you want. Give me 30 seconds and we'll be done.

Speaker 3: 28:48

So I did, and it was like an F you. I did it just to spite him. I'm going to give you 30 seconds. Here we go. So I did 30 seconds of work and I set the kettlebell down. He said all right, man, great job, great work, we're done. I said I think I can do 30 more seconds and I finished the whole workout. I did the whole thing. I would do 30 seconds on and 30 seconds off and he just let me every time. He's like all right, if you want to do 30 seconds. And then, and that's. I slowly started getting back into fitness and that was so hard man Alan to do. To go from where I was and I wasn't some world-class athlete, please don't let me paint that picture To go from where I was to go to doing 30 seconds of 35-pound kettlebell swings Russian, not even overhead was such a kick in the nuts because of my ego, but I did it and that was life-changing.

Speaker 3: 29:49

That may have saved my life right there and that's how I started that grind back and it was a constant battle. It was a constant battle with my fitness and it was fear. I would be totally remiss if I wasn't just totally played with it, to say I wasn't totally played with fear and my ego was big.

Speaker 1: 30:06

Yeah, absolutely. I'm not surprised to hear that, and thank you for bringing up fear, because I wanted to touch on that too, because I'm sure your relationship with fear and mortality has changed as well, like between before the incident and then after. So how has that shaped and changed for you today?

Speaker 3: 30:24

Oh, my goodness, there's no way I can articulate this for the audience to understand, and I'll do my best. The day that I tasted death and I could associate it with what happened, death became so real, and I, in my everyday life, people say, oh, just do it. Life is short. I'm like you know what. Life's not short for me. It got really long for a point there, and I do know, though, that death is real. Death does not wait for an invitation. Death does not let you know when it's showing up. Death does not call ahead. Death does not isolate the healthy from the unhealthy. Death is so real, it is so real and it's so final.

Speaker 1: 31:07

Yeah, absolutely Absolutely. I'm sure through your path you've probably had mentor, different mentors now, whether that was during your the CrossFit and fitness aspect of your life, and then through through your recovery. But if you were to think about the mentors that you've had along the way, what would be the best piece of advice that you've been given and how is it still serving you?

Speaker 3: 31:27

Oh, the best piece of advice that you've been given and how is it still serving you? The best piece of advice is there's so much. When I'm going to, I'm going to take the term mentor, but I'm going to use the average person. When I first got my diagnosis, I was trying to. I was trying to learn everything, read everything. I knew. Oh, this will pass, it's no big deal. Let me figure out how I can beat this kind of thing.

Speaker 3: 31:52

And I started an Instagram account so I was reaching out to people that had the same diagnosis as me, and I had one guy. We were talking about fear and what you do and how you move, and he said man, you got to do what you carve out your place in the world, do what you think feels right, but the heart is going to do what it's going to do, no matter what we do. And that was the best piece of advice. It didn't stick with me at the time. I was like that's not even a good answer, man, why don't you tell me what my heart's going to do? But it didn't stick with me at the time, but it has stuck with me over time and it's so true the heart is going to do what it's going to do.

Speaker 3: 32:30

The universe is going to unfold. However, it's going to unfold. Trying to control it out in the future is never going to happen.

Speaker 1: 32:37

Yeah completely agree. Love that advice, Jeff. Of everything we spoke about today and maybe there was something we didn't get a chance to touch on what would be the one takeaway you'd want our audience to have?

Speaker 3: 32:47

Oh my, gosh, take a step. Whatever that thing is, whatever that thing is, if it's, if the thing is, I can relate this to any part of your life. If you want to lose weight, if you're in sales and you don't like cold calling, if you have to get your taxes done, give it 30 seconds. Give it 30 seconds. Give it 30 seconds. I promise you it's not that big. Give it 30 seconds and then, if you give it 30 seconds, then you're allowed to quit. Right, you gave it a shot. It's like my running rule. Now I have a running rule. I give up running a lot. I'm going to run tomorrow, then I get up and I don't. My rule now is I get dressed, I get dressed and I'm not allowed to decide until I'm dressed and my shoes are on. Then it becomes do I want to run or do I want to quit? Once you're dressed and your shoes are on, you're already there. Then you're quitting. Yeah, my biggest takeaway would be those things in front of you that seem so big. Just give it 30 seconds.

Speaker 1: 33:46

Man love that. What a great way to wrap up today's conversation. Just want to say thanks, jeff, for being on the show, and you've showed us, and continue to show us, that no matter what life throws at us, that we can overcome it and become even stronger. And so if men are interested in getting a hold of you and participating in your work, what would be the best way for them to do that?

Speaker 3: 34:04

Probably just find me on Instagram. It's JD Luther 2.0. Yeah, you can connect with me there. And for anyone listening that's struggling with fear, ego, motivation, just like a personal level, this, unfortunately, is now my wheelhouse. I love to help. I love to share my story. I am one of those people in a conversation I go deep and I get there fast. And if you need anything, I will commit to always being an ear. And when we say things out loud, alan, sometimes they're just not as scary as when we internalize them.

Speaker 1: 34:42

Absolutely, totally true. Once again, buddy, thank you so much for being on the show. Loved your story, loved having you on here. Thank you so much for shedding so much positive light on the world for us and let us know that we can overcome our fears. So thank you so much amen.

Speaker 3: 34:56

This was an absolute pleasure. You really brought out the best in me. I didn't expect some of those deep questions, but thank you for that and it's this helps me. Thank you, you so much.

Speaker 1: 35:05

You're welcome.

Speaker 2: 35:14

Thank you for listening to the Revolutionary man podcast. Are you ready to own your destiny, to become more the man you're destined to be? Join the brotherhood that is the Awakened man at theawakendmannet and start forging a new destiny today.