Finding Hope While Overcoming Bipolar Challenges with Steve Wilson

How does one maintain balance and purpose while navigating the turbulent waters of bipolar disorder? Join us as we hear from Steve Wilson, a man whose life has been a testament to resilience since his bipolar diagnosis in 1978. From a traumatic childhood event to his initial deep depression at age 30, Steve’s journey illuminates the broader themes of mental health, balance, and the unique challenges men face in their quest for a meaningful life. His candid narrative offers a window into the emotional and psychological battles that come with bipolar disorder, and the hard-won wisdom he has gained along the way.

Steve's story doesn’t shy away from the harsh realities of bipolar disorder, including stints in mental institutions and struggles with suicidal ideation. However, his journey is also one of hope, showcasing how new medications and support systems have helped him regain control and stability. This episode demystifies the complexities of bipolar disorder, shedding light on the difference between bipolar I and bipolar II through Steve's personal experiences. We discuss how these extreme highs and lows have impacted his personal and professional life and the resilience he has shown through it all.

Beyond Steve's personal journey, we address the broader realities of mental illness in the US, highlighting staggering statistics and the systemic challenges posed by inadequate government and insurance support. Steve’s experiences facilitating mental health support groups and the crucial role of family support emphasize the importance of community and connection. We conclude by focusing on the vital resources available for men, such as the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), and the transformative power of sharing stories, as embodied in Steve's memoir, "Teetering on the Tightrope: My Bipolar Journey." This episode is not just a story of struggle but a beacon of hope for anyone navigating similar paths.

Key moments in this episode:
02:32 Steve Wilson's Early Life and Trauma
03:35 Living with Bipolar Disorder
09:31 Understanding Bipolar Disorder
11:50 Mental Health Statistics and Government Involvement
14:37 Steve's Book: Teetering on a Tightrope
16:29 Supporting Loved Ones with Bipolar Disorder
23:55 Final Thoughts and Takeaways
24:44 Closing Remarks and How to Get Help

How to reach Steve:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stevewilson4990
Book: Teetering On a Tightrope: My Bipolar Journey 

Chapters

• 0:00 Striving for Balance
• 4:59 Navigating Bipolar Disorder
• 11:49 Navigating Mental Illness Realities
• 24:56 Connecting Men to Bipolar Resources

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Have you ever been, or ever seen, a person walking on a tightrope, suspended from 150 feet above a deep gorge? What are they striving for most, when I think about it, they're striving for balance. Isn't that something all of us are striving for in life? I think so. For many men, finding balance is a lifelong struggle, and it's like teetering on a tightrope. Now let's add having bipolar disorder and the struggle becomes even more real. Today, my guest is an amazing gentleman who has learned how to walk that tightrope.

Speaker 1: 0:33

So stick around, because the words of wisdom you're about to hear can help all of us, regardless of where we are in our life or what we're battling. And before we get into that, we all know that being a man today has never been more challenging, and so the pain for many of us is real. It's a pain of loneliness and it's a pain of unworthiness, and it's masked by our anger and our resentment. And so all because we are uncertain and afraid to take that next step. And so if you're tired and fed up with where your life is at, I'm going to encourage you to start your hero's quest. It's where you can become more, accomplish more and live more than ever before. Just go to membersthewakenmannet and start your quest today. With that, let's get on with today's episode.

Speaker 2: 1:18

The average man today is sleepwalking through life, many never reaching their true potential, let alone ever crossing the finish line to living a purposeful life. Many never reaching their true potential, let alone ever crossing the finish line to living a purposeful life. Yet the hunger still exists, albeit buried amidst his cluttered mind, misguided beliefs and values that no longer serve him. It's time to align yourself for greatness. It's time to become a revolutionary man. Stay strong, my brother. It's time to become a revolutionary man.

Speaker 1: 1:46

Stay strong, my brother. Welcome everyone to the Revolutionary man Podcast. I'm the founder of the Wake and man Movement and your host, alan Devonso. Before we get started, allow me to ask you a couple of questions. Do you struggle with a mental health disorder and, if so, how has it helped or hindered your life? I know that's a bit of a different question. That second one because, as men, we tend to focus so intently on achieving our goals that we forget to see the forest for the trees, and so we're busy building a business that small things like our health and family get pushed aside until one day, either or both creep up and bite us in the butt. Today, my guest shares this transformational story and gives us an opportunity to see what it's like of keeping ourselves intact.

Speaker 1: 2:32

Allow me to introduce my guest. Steve Wilson is 75 years young. He's been married for 51 years and has three daughters, two granddaughters and, after a successful career in custom clothing business, steve retired in 2019. Yes, steve is diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1978, but through that journey he was able to author a book called Teetering on the Tightrope my Bipolar Journey, and he launched that in 2023. And so we're going to dive into that and so much more. Welcome to the show, steve. How are things, my friend?

Speaker 3: 3:04

Very good, thank you for having me. How are you?

Speaker 1: 3:07

I'm doing very well. This is one of the few times that we get an opportunity to dive this deep in such an important and profound topic and, by Stephen, this is the Revolutionary man podcast. We always talk about everyone being on a hero's quest, and so, while I shared a bit of your story, please tell us about that time when you were diagnosed with bipolar disorder. What did you do about that, and how did that experience shape you into the man you are today and the work you're doing?

Speaker 3: 3:35

I was diagnosed in 1978, but the story began 20 years before that, when I was seven, eight years old. I was just a normal kid, playing sports, doing well in school, a lot of friends. And then, when I was nine years old, I went to a movie theater in my hometown, walked in, saw the. They used to have double features back then, so when one was over everybody would run up and go to the concession stand. So I did that on a Saturday and a guy put a dime in the Coke machine and bought me a Coke. And then he said would you come help me with something in the theater? I thought he was an employee, so I said sure. He walked down the hall with me and then turned directly into the men's restroom and raped me.

Speaker 3: 4:29

Now, at eight, nine years old, I didn't even know what the hell happened or how it could happen, but it did happen and I didn't know whose fault it was. It must have been mine. And so I decided now this is back in 1958, so there was no help mentally and no discussion about what could happen. So I didn't know what to do. So I decided to never tell anybody and I didn't. For 30 years I went into my first deep depression, didn't want to get out of bed, didn't want to eat, couldn't sleep, didn't want to play with anybody, didn't want to go to school, and pretty miserable. That lasted for a couple months and then it went away. It did not return until seventh grade, did not return until seventh grade, two years later, and later I found out that bipolar is like a roller coaster it goes up and down, so you could be feeling pretty good at one time and then two or three months later you're back down in the toilet. So that went on. It proved to go on all my life.

Speaker 3: 5:45

I went through junior high and high school. I want to point out to make this clear to everybody. It isn't every day, it is whenever it decides to attack. It was in that way. It happened through high school and college, happened through high school and college and then all of a sudden, when I graduated from college and came home to my hometown, I got really bad. I was suicidal. I was a swimmer and have been for all my life, and when I jump in the pool to swim laps, something in my mind, a voice, would say kill yourself. So that was 1971. At the same time, the next day or two, we had a barbecue at my parents', got in an altercation with my father and went at him with a knife. Nothing happened, but I woke up in a mental institution, was there for three weeks. I woke up in a mental institution, was there for three weeks and luckily after that I had no more and still haven't had any suicidal ideations.

Speaker 3: 6:52

So then I started looking for a job and I was successful in school and had a good background. So I got several jobs. The main job I wanted was to be in the golf business, not as a professional player but at a club, run the golf course and things like that. So I got a job out here in Scottsdale and everything was going great. And then I went into depression, and what those depressions caused me to do was screw up everything. So I was out of a job in six months. That continued to be for the next six years.

Speaker 3: 7:31

Now, stepping back to 92, I was diagnosed clinically depressed, and back then there were maybe a handful of medications. They gave them to me. Nothing worked. They all made me sick as hell. It was not until 1978, six years later, that my psychiatrist came in and said we've made a mistake. You're bipolar. I didn't know what bipolar was, and he may have explained it to him, but I don't remember. And he said we'll start some different medications, and the first one he gave me was lithium, and within a couple of days it worked.

Speaker 3: 8:09

Now I was not nearly even close to being good, real good or even good, but it made it. So I was possible to get back into the human race. I went into business with my father human race. I went into business with my father and what was left was meaning my mind was out of control, a lot of thoughts that I could never get out of my mind, and now that was 1978. And that continued up until about 2000,. So 22 years and for the most part I got help in 2000 because I got a new drug from a new psychiatrist Mine had died and that helped me get rid of the ruminations and the other feelings that were going on with it. So for 22 years I was suffering not as bad before, but suffering and the last 24 years I've been pretty good.

Speaker 1: 9:07

Man. That is such an incredible story, steve. What a journey. I just want to say before we get started that I see you, I hear you and I honor your presence today. Thank you so much for sharing this. I think many of us we take for granted how good our lives are until we have become across. Someone comes across our path to really enlighten us on what challenge looks like, and so you're a testament to doing that, and so I want to spend like a little bit of time just helping people understand the what bipolar is and the disorder, and then in a bit let's get into your book.

Speaker 1: 9:41

So maybe, if you don't mind explaining to people you touched on a bipolar being, sounds like it's when you're having really high highs and really low lows, but there's got to be maybe a little bit more to it. Do you mind just explaining?

Speaker 3: 9:58

There are basically two types of bipolar disorder lows, the depression, and then you move into mania, which is complete loss of control over how you conduct your life. You think you're the greatest person in the world. You can never be stopped. You throw away all your money. You might ruin your home life, which you probably do. You'll go out and buy things on a whim that can cost you a lot of money. This could last for months and eventually you'll get depressed again and you'll look around and your life is a shambles.

Speaker 3: 10:42

There's another bipolar, which is called bipolar two, and that's where I am, where you have deep depression. I could sit here all day and try to teach you what depression is like. You'd never understand it. You couldn't possibly understand how bad it is. Now, when you get off of the depression, you're most likely going to what is called a hypomania, excuse me, and that's a really low-grade mania, not destructive, but you make some stupid decisions, like one time I took my wife to buy a car for her. She picked out a car. We were about ready to buy it. I looked over and I saw another car and I said, oh, I'll take that too. Didn't think about it, just let it happen. So that's a small way that hypomania works. Go ahead ask me something else.

Speaker 1: 11:39

I don't know what else to say no, that's a great. Thank you so much for explaining that. I didn't realize that there were two different ways that bipolar shows up, and so thanks for explaining that. I didn't realize that there were two different ways that bipolar shows up, and so thanks for providing that. How about some statistics? Do you know anything what the statistics look like? How many people in the US suffer from or are challenged with the mental illness and of that, how are youths affected as well there?

Speaker 3: 12:00

are 60 million people in the US who are mentally ill. There are more because they never come up for help. This is worldwide. That 20% is going on across the world. Now I've done about 40 podcasts so far. You're in Canada, I've talked to England, I've talked to Jamaica and many other places and they all verify that, so it isn't just the United States. Out of that 60 million, somewhere around 6 to 10 million have bipolar disorder.

Speaker 1: 12:40

Wow, 10%. That's huge. Somewhere around that, that's huge. It's incredible. Now you also talked a little bit about the really about getting into how the US, the government, has really been involved with this, or maybe they haven't been as involved as they should. So tell a little bit about that. This crisis 60 million to me sounds like a crisis. What is there? 300 million people in the US today, that's a large number of people. So talk a little bit about that and your experience.

Speaker 3: 13:10

If you say the government is trying to help, I say very little. They just say one thing about it. They talk about how they are doing things, but they're not doing much. And you throw on that the insurance industry. All they do is figure out ways not to pay us, even worse than the general public who's getting regular medicine. So those two are huge deterrents for people to get help.

Speaker 3: 13:40

Now I and the facilitator at two mental health support groups here in the Phoenix area I've been doing this for nine years. I've seen well over a thousand patients. They come from all walks of life, all ages, and many of them have suffered from physical abuse, sexual abuse, mental abuse and so on. Some have been trafficked, some have been kidnapped. These are things that people don't even think happen. I'm telling you it happens every day. How many times a day, I don't know. These people come with stories that would make your skin crawl. I was raped once. There's people in my group who've been raised many times. So that's where I have really discovered that it's just out of control in this country and every place else. Let's go on to something else.

Speaker 1: 14:36

Sure, no problem, my friend, I wanted to get into start to talk about your book. As I mentioned in the introduction, you wrote this book Teetering on a Tightrope. I really liked that topic because that title because I think it really resonates with what you went through, obviously, but for many of us, and so it does offer a pretty candid look into all your experiences with bipolar disorder. But what ultimately motivated you to write your story and to share it with everybody?

Speaker 3: 15:03

I was doing pretty good, I said after 2000, but I still had some problems and some things that were not resolved. So I went to a trauma therapist in Scottsdale and she took me through my entire life I'm about eight years old to at that time was about 2020. We laid out everything in chronological order, 10 months or so, and at the end of it she says geez, there's so much in here, you ought to write a book about it. That's how it started.

Speaker 1: 15:35

Excellent. And listen, it takes lots of courage as well to write that. It's one thing to have that conversation with your therapist and then to put it all out there, and I'm sure this book is helping hundreds of thousands of people, if not millions of people.

Speaker 3: 15:49

Today I'll tell you the book hasn't sold many copies. Genre of bipolar people think is so small that they're not getting into what I've been through. But what it has done for me is able to get to podcasts like yours. As I said, I've done more than 40. I go into detail, more detail about the government and the insurance company, but still saying just about the same things. So that's really helped and I hope I'm getting the word out there. That's all I can do.

Speaker 1: 16:23

Yeah, absolutely. I'm sure you are Speaking of getting the word out there. You mentioned earlier your grandfather, so how do you navigate discussing mental health and bipolar disorder with your family and, especially considering your own experiences, how does that work for you?

Speaker 3: 16:39

To tell you the truth, my parents, even after my mother knew I was having troubles and got me hooked up with a psychiatrist in the 70s, early 70s they never did anything for me except for that. They knew I was going through something but they never offered their support. That goes from my parents to my brother and sister. They just let me flounder around and when you read the book you'll see some of the things that they did or said that made my journey tougher. It was not until I got with my wife and she put up with me for the first, until I got lithium in 78, I married her in 72. But during that first six years she didn't know what the hell was going on and it was tough for us. So we made it through. And then she's been very supportive when she found out that I had bipolar. And we've gotten them. We've had three kids and they've been the greatest thing in my life and the biggest support.

Speaker 1: 17:48

Yeah, I bet Nothing better than getting the support of your spouse and your children and that, and so that's why I wanted to ask I think the important thing is that there's more work being done, and you talked about being in the support groups. How long have you been working in support groups in Phoenix?

Speaker 3: 18:03

Nine years.

Speaker 1: 18:05

Nice, nice.

Speaker 3: 18:07

I will say that a lot of the people in my groups don't get any support. The thing a person should do, the only thing you have to do for support is support. You don't go tell them to take a walk. They'll feel better. You just observe them, listen to them and be there for them. Tough for a lot of people to do because they don't want to. They don't believe the person, they think he's lazy or she's lazy.

Speaker 3: 18:34

So many of the people who are in mental distress don't get any help from their normal people in their lives. And then the insurance company makes it impossible for many people to get any help. A typical trip to a therapist will run you from $150 to $150. Most people can't cover that. That means you've got to make about $100,000 or more a year to fit that expense in. Most people cannot do that. The ones who can, they're very lucky, no fault of their own. But that drops the ball for many people.

Speaker 3: 19:21

And I tell you, people think if you get help you'll get this magic pill that will fix you. The medicine only works for 50% of the people. The other 50% can't or don't get help from any kind of medication. So they're forced, if they find out about it, to try alternative medications. There's cognitive behavioral therapy, there's EMDR, there's electric behavioral therapy. There are tools you can use and the problem is and they work not as well if you're lucky to get the medication, but they really help. Problem is this most mental patients don't know about them, the ones who can't afford therapy. Who's going to tell them about them? You say, well, go look online. How do they know to look online? There's many millions of people who are abandoned. They have nowhere to go, so they just suffer. Hopefully they'll come to groups like mine and we can get the word out to them, and we always do.

Speaker 3: 20:36

Yeah, absolutely Another thing is the help that the government gives through their clinics and disability and all that is so overwhelmed that if a person is in distress today thinking about killing themselves and they're in one of these clinics and they go and they say, I am really bad, Get me in. Sometimes the clinic will say we'll have an opening for you in two to four weeks. What the hell do these people do? Are in distress, who knows? And there's another thing they get disability. So they want to go out and get a part-time job to supplement their income. So they get a job that makes them 10 or 15,000. The maximum you can make on disability is 20,000. Now you would think that means they won't pay any more than 20,000, but there's a copy out and it says if you make more than our 20,000, you lose our 20,000. So the guy who went out and made an extra 15 000 actually lost 5 000.

Speaker 3: 21:44

How stupid is that makes no sense, none so how is anybody going to get the help to get out of it?

Speaker 1: 21:52

yeah, they won't doesn't even make sense even to go about and do that, so it's not a wonder that's such a vicious cycle. You talked a little bit there, steve, about supporting people and not to support them by saying, hey, just go for a walk. So tell me in your experience, what does that look like for those of us that would have loved ones that are in our lives, and how do we support somebody with bipolar?

Speaker 3: 22:15

You don't say anything, trying to tell them what to do. People have come to the group saying my mother said to me why are you like this? We've provided you with everything. And the guys, every time somebody says that, they tell me that they get worse and worse because of that comment. The best thing for people to do, as I said, is just be there for the sufferer. You don't ask, you don't give any advice, you don't even. Sometimes you can't even tell them to go get a therapist or professional, because the patient may be against that, even though they need it. And you're telling them to do it and he gets pissed. So all you can do is be there and comfort them. And I'll tell you one other thing If people are giving support, they've got to expect that it's going to be a tough time, because the patient is in such a bad way that he'll fight you all the time if he has to. So be prepared for a long journey as a supporter.

Speaker 1: 23:19

That's great words of wisdom there, steve. Thank you so much for that. During your journey, you must have come across somewhere, or either something you've read, or maybe a mentor, somebody that helped you, kept you going on this path. What would you say was the best piece of advice you've been given, and how has it served you?

Speaker 3: 23:39

The person who helped me the most was my first psychiatrist and then he died and I got a new psychiatrist and he was even better than the first. So those are the two guys who helped the most, except for my family.

Speaker 1: 23:54

Love that, Love that. That's good to hear. You know, Steve, as we look to wrap things up today, everything that we spoke about today and maybe there was something we didn't get a chance to touch on what would be the one takeaway you'd want our listeners to have the biggest?

Speaker 3: 24:07

takeaway from my book, and from what I completely believe, is that if you are mentally ill, don't give up. You'll get very frustrated when medications don't work, but if you keep pursuing your best. Now there is no cure for most of these mental illnesses, but if you keep pursuing your best way to get better, like me, you'll find it which. It's a long ass journey and you got to keep pushing.

Speaker 1: 24:40

I hear you. Thank you so much for sharing that. I really appreciate it. I just want to say thanks, steve, for spending time with us today and really helping guide us to this understanding of how we can support someone with bipolar and maybe it's even supporting ourselves, for that matter, if we are the one. And so if men are interested in getting a hold of you and participating in your group work or getting your book, what would be the best way for them to do that?

Speaker 3: 25:04

One thing I want to say. You don't have to go to my group. There are groups all over the country, in every major city, and if you want to check out where yours might be close to you, go to an organization online called NAMI N-A-M-I. They will have all the information or can get you the information of some group you can get involved with.

Speaker 1: 25:30

Love it. I'm going to make sure that link is going to be in these show notes today, as well as the links to your book. People get an opportunity to get your book Teetering on a Tightrope my Bipolar Journey and I think it's the work you're doing, steve is so needed. Thank you so much once again, my friend, for being on the show.

Speaker 3: 25:46

Thank you very much, alan, I appreciate being with you.

Speaker 2: 25:56

Thank you for listening to the Revolutionary man podcast. Are you ready to own your destiny, to become more the man you are destined to be? Join the brotherhood that is the Awakened man at theawakenedmannet and start forging a new destiny today.