Why Modern Men Are Struggling in Relationships and What Can Be Done

Unlock the secrets to navigating the complex world of modern relationships with our special guest, Andre Paradis. Andre, a former professional dancer turned relationship coach, joins us to share his invaluable insights on overcoming the struggles many men face today, such as loneliness, unworthiness, and masked anger. Learn about the transformative power of the "hero's quest" and gain practical communication tools that can foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

We also take a deep dive into the impact of cultural shifts on modern masculinity and the consequences of the so-called feminization of masculinity. Andre's dedication to Project Equinox highlights the mission to restore healthy relationships and family dynamics amidst these cultural changes. Our conversation spans the importance of complementary roles in relationships, rather than striving for equality, and how this natural polarization can lead to stronger partnerships. Andre's personal anecdotes and professional insights offer a roadmap for building character, confidence, and self-respect.

Finally, we tackle the dynamic interplay of masculine and feminine energies, the necessity of decisiveness and leadership, and modern women's struggles in balancing traditional roles with societal expectations. From understanding traditional gender roles to the importance of men taking the lead, this episode is packed with actionable advice and thought-provoking discussions. Join us for an enlightening conversation that aims to reshape your understanding of modern relationships and empower you to succeed personally.

Key moments in this episode:
04:07 The Feminization of Men and Its Consequences
09:02 The Importance of Masculinity in Relationships
16:45 The Role of Stoicism and Men's Emotional Struggles
22:12 The Myth of Equality in Relationships
33:31 The Struggle of Masculine Women in Dating
36:24 The Importance of Masculine Energy
38:21 Men's Role in Making Women Feel Safe
40:12 The Power of Decisiveness in Relationships
48:07 Making Plans and Taking the Lead
52:55 Final Thoughts and Takeaways

How to reach Andre:
Website: www.projectequinox.net
Gift 1: andrecoach1@gmail.com (Subject line: workshop)
Gift 2: andrecoach1@gmail.com (Subject Line: Talk Now)
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ProjectEquinox
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/projectequinox1
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-n26dzlCN0dcAXgubSjGQ
X: https://twitter.com/dre91601
LinkedIn:

Chapters

• 0:00 Navigating Modern Relationships With Andre Paradis
• 3:18 Cultural Impact on Modern Relationships
• 15:24 Navigating Masculinity and Relationships
• 22:36 Leadership and Complementary Relationships
• 31:15 Understanding Traditional Gender Roles in Relationships
• 35:35 Understanding Masculinity and Femininity in Relationships
• 39:59 Building Confidence and Leadership in Relationships
• 48:52 Taking the Lead in Relationships
• 1:01:25 Empowering Men Through the Brotherhood

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

You know, one of the things that many men struggle with is how to show up in our relationships, and I think it's really about the feminization of the masculine has evolved over the last few years and it's created this culture of girl power where their chant is I don't need no stinking man in my life other than to subscribe to my OnlyFans page Now. While that may be true to some extent, it has left men disenfranchised with the idea of even being in a relationship. So the scales are totally tipped one way, and it isn't towards us. So what can we do about that? Today I have a very special returning guest and he and I are going to unpack this so much more about just what it is to be in a relationship.

Speaker 1: 0:38

And before we get into all that, as I said and I know it's been more, never more challenging today to be a man. Because of that, many of us feel lots of pain, and it's a pain of loneliness and it's a pain of unworthiness, and it's masked by our anger and our resentment, and it's all because we're uncertain and afraid to take the next step. So if you're tired and fed up with where your life is at, I'm going to encourage you to start your hero's quest. It's where you can become more, accomplish more and live more than ever before. Just go to memberstheawakenedmannet and start your quest today With that. Let's get on with today's episode.

Speaker 2: 1:16

The average man today is sleepwalking through life, many never reaching their true potential, let alone ever crossing the finish line to living a purposeful life. Yet the hunger still exists, albeit buried amidst his cluttered mind, misguided beliefs and values that no longer serve him. It's time to align yourself for greatness. It's time to become a revolutionary man. Stay strong, my brother.

Speaker 1: 1:47

Welcome everyone to the Revolutionary man Podcast. I'm the founder of the Awakened man Movement and your host, alan DeMonso, so let me ask you what role are you playing in your relationship? Are you leading or are you following? Now, these are two questions I continually ask myself. And when the relationship is going well, what part did I do in playing in that? Was I leading or was I following? And when the relationship isn't going well, again, how am I showing up?

Speaker 1: 2:14

I'm not suggesting there's a definitive right way or a wrong way. Maybe my guest will agree or disagree with me on that. What I think is important is that, as a conscious man in a relationship, that's the starting point that gives me the launch pad of where we can go. And so let's see what my guest has to say about this and so much more.

Speaker 1: 2:33

Allow me to introduce Andre Paradis. He's on a journey that leads him from former professional dancer to relationship coach, who has worked his way out of a difficult childhood. His experiences worldwide, from Japan to Bangkok, have made him into a teacher and educated him in the fields of the male and female dynamics. He's taken all of this incredible knowledge, discoveries and insight from successful programs such as the Mankind Projects and PACS to help spread the message and help others Puts so much effort to change the world, one person at a time, and so passing on this profound understanding of what relationships are and arming us so that we can work towards what is tried and tested communication tools that often produce tangible and lasting results. Andre, my brother, how are things? How have you been? It's been so long since we last spoke.

Speaker 3: 3:23

I'm really really good. Thank you, it's good to see you. It's been so long since we last spoke. Really really good, thank you, it's good to see you. It's been a while. And, god, what an intro. You're like living and breathing what I do, this concept of manhood in the world and what's not working, and this madness out there. That's absolutely ridiculous, absolutely. We step back so far away from what's normal and natural. The new normal is ridiculous and everything that's normal has been redeemed ridiculous. So the new normal is madness and people think that's okay and people who want to live traditional, standard lives are like old and stupid. But how's it working out for y'all out there? How's it working out? How's your relationship? How's your girl? How's your household? How's your life? How's your girl? How's your?

Speaker 1: 4:06

household. How's your life? It's so true, and that's why I say I truly believe it is this feminization of the masculine. And we become so afraid that, hey, if I be too masculine or too macho, then maybe I'm not showing up right. And I think that's the dumbing down of society and it's been nothing but pain.

Speaker 3: 4:26

And it's you know, I believe, not to get political because if we go there we're going to be done right. But there's an agenda out there. They know that if they destroy masculinity they can get away with murder. Because men, regular males, would never let what's happening out there happen If they weren't shamed out of, you know, even stepping up and, you know, afraid to be toxic and seriously, the old masculine men would never let what's happening out there take place. So that's how big and thick the movement is and it's been going on for like decades. And here we are right, like nobody has the right to say anything against the current norm. Really, yeah.

Speaker 3: 5:04

So you and I just nah not taking that has the right to say anything against the current norm, really so you and I just nah not taking that on.

Speaker 1: 5:08

Nope, not doing it. Not doing it? Absolutely not. I think there's just so much we're going to unpack here, and so what have you been up to lately? I know Project Equinox is a big part of what you do, but tell me what's been going on? With the project and anything else that's been on your radar.

Speaker 3: 5:24

That's the main, main thing that I do. I mean, it's not, you know, I'm not a relationship coach because it's a hobby. This is how I pay the mortgage and the cars. Like this is my life. And so I'm in Los Angeles, so I'm busy, because if you think about confusion, oh my goodness, it's a little bit worse here. Like the big cities are really, really in trouble, like new york city, la atlanta, right, chicago, like there's a you know, the more, the more industrialized area you live in, the more the indoctrination is pushed in and you know people are struggling and men are stepping back and women are like I don't even know man. And it's just say, because it's different, you know, in the smaller communities, it's different in the south to a degree. Yeah, right, so it's. So I'm busy. It's different in the smaller communities, it's different in the South to a degree. So I'm busy, it's fantastic. And so Project Equinox again, the business itself is great. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 3: 6:17

But the big mission, really the big mission to have a God mission that I used to resent a couple of years back when it kind of came down, it's not, it's not for me to build a business, as much, you know, for my own sake and help people one at a time. I'm called to put a dent in the cultural crap that's out there. Like you and I, you know, with my calling is to dismantle the crap that's out there that is destroying culture, because when you destroy your relationship, you destroy families, you destroy the ability for your kids to grow into healthy human beings who could, you know, create healthy relationship, create good families. So when all this falls apart, society, culture falls apart. So that's the big mission. So my, my mission is to really spread the, the, the waves of hope and understanding and really getting the madness that's out there that people think is kind of, you know, normal, cause it's very, very hard to push back against the tidal wave in the culture, right, the tidal wave of belief.

Speaker 3: 7:27

If you consider 15% of feminists that are angry, bitter, stupid, I want to say it are the ones who are making all the noise and scaring all the women that all men are dangerous, all men are bad, all men are shit, all men are toxic, all men are cheaters. Well, this is how you destroy an entire culture, because everybody's afraid. All men are bad, all men are shit, all men are toxic, all men are cheaters. Well, this is how you destroy an entire culture. Because everybody's afraid, and again, it's easy to buy into. Everybody's been bent out of shape or damaged, especially in adolescence and early years, right. So it's easy to spread that around and literally have everyone terrified.

Speaker 3: 8:04

So we then raise generations of know, generations of women who can't trust men, who are afraid of men, who are told by their mothers, their school, their teachers, their girlfriend, girl, you know, build yourself some safety, security, get a business, be a boss, babe, and maybe later, maybe later. And the fact is that's not how you do it, this is not how it works. And then, on the other side, you know, 25 years later, 20 years later, lonely, burnout, miserable. You know no dates, no relationship, no man, no companionship, no kids, and realizing, oops, maybe I got sucked into something you know, and that's anyway. So I don't want this for anyone. This is a terrible, terrible, terrible thing to get to and I'm trying to sound the alarm. You don't want to be a client of mine. You don't want to be a client of mine. You don't want to be on the other side of this, thinking I waited too long. What is, I think, what people don't think about in the first half of life is the second half of life. You know what I mean Like by the time you're 35 and 40, the priorities that you had as a kid, as a young person, man or woman the choice that you make then will determine the rest of your life. So at 40, if you're single, you know childless, no relationship.

Speaker 3: 9:27

Most women suffer terribly and they don't realize at 40, the people that are available, who you know that they want for relationship traditional men. They all want traditional men, even though they're not traditional. They don't want to be traditional, they've never been traditional. That's a problem, right, yeah. And the guys who want to be married want to be with the traditional men are already married. They have their own kids. They're at 40 years old, building lives, having everything they want, right. And so the pool of available men at that age is gone.

Speaker 3: 9:57

The ones who are left over is a weird right, not marriage material. They don't have it, yes, or they've been divorced and they never want. They don't want to do that over again. So they just want to fuck around and play with you. Congratulations. This is what's not working, yeah. But again the culture said go girl, okay, that's fine. But you know, look out, because every one of my client is 35 years old plus. But the ladies and they're like, they're miserable and they're tired and they want support and help, but they don't know how to do it because they've been masculinized since day one. Oh, anyway, now I'm going off. So sorry you got me going.

Speaker 1: 10:32

No, but listen, you made up a couple of good points there, I just wrote down. It's about the difference between living in the moment and being present, right. And then you talked about decisions, and I just made that note down as well, and it's really about today's decisions become tomorrow's outcomes, and so when we start to decide and now you're talking about some of their clients being women at 35, and as I introduced the show about, hey, I don't really need a man, but please subscribe to my OnlyFans page the flip side to that is our guys that are, that are doormats and that used to and that used to be me in my relationship and really trying to be this nice guy because, you know, I thought that that would be, would get me more love, that would get me more attention, but I didn't, you know, I didn't know how to be in relationships. So let's, let's talk about what does that look like from those two perspectives? And between a man and a woman, how do we need to show up to really have a strong and powerful relationship?

Speaker 3: 11:30

So I totally relate because I was raised to be a nice man as well. Nice guy, nice guy. So what happened is interesting, right. My dad was very, very 50s right. So provide protected, made a ton of money. He was a beast right, and he was also very short, so he had something to prove to the world. So he got more beastie because of his Napoleon syndrome, I get it, but with that he was over the top with everything, right. He kind of pushed everything and everyone around, my mother and us, included five kids, and she used to bitch and complain about him so much. He's too this, he's too that, right man. The man created an empire by himself at five foot three, right.

Speaker 3: 12:06

But that was not good enough for her because he didn't da-da-da-da-da-da-da right. Now, he was unpredictable enough, and that's the part that you know. It's just what it was, that often we didn't know how to deal with him. Like he'd come home, is he going to beat us up? Not that that happened a lot, but he'd be like really angry or tired. So he was unpredictable. Or was he going to be cool today? So we learned to get away from him and get out of his way at all times. That's not really a good dynamic right to have in a household. So everybody just got away from him just because he was explosive, right, right.

Speaker 3: 12:41

But when I look back on the things that he did, it's just anyway. So, but the fact that she complained all the time because he was always working, you know, you kind of take her side. Yeah, he's too much, yeah, he's too big, yeah, he's too controlled, yeah, he's too, he's too, he's too. But with that I rejected everything that he was doing, everything he was teaching us, everything they was modeling this is what a fucking man does right now. He went too far. Everything they was modeling this is what a fucking man does right Now. He went too far, right. So you want to be masculine with a certain amount of sensitivities, because you're dealing with children, women, right?

Speaker 3: 13:12

And life itself. But what happened to me and I think maybe it's similar to what happened to you, but I haven't said a lot of guys, when you reject your father because you're told he's not good enough and he's blah, blah, blah and he is a little bit hard to deal with, Well, you reject your own masculinity.

Speaker 1: 13:27

Yes.

Speaker 3: 13:28

And then you embrace her way. You know how many times did my mother say to me like you be very sweet to the ladies you know, and like don't be like your dad, don't be like your dad. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yourself, right, you have to acquiesce. The problem with that, ladies, because you all keep saying you want a nice guy, you want a sweet guy, you want a sensitive guy, you want a guy who talks. Who's vulnerable? Well, first of all, genetically, biologically, that's a girlfriend, that's not a man, right? So that doesn't work.

Speaker 3: 14:08

Because these guys, actually, when they show up, simping and you know, and sort of acquiescing and getting you know, doing everything you want, and without their you know, without balls and even an opinion in a sense of themselves, because they fold, because they were told they were supposed to fold, yeah, you don't respect those guys, you don't like those guys and again, on a visceral level, on a physical, biological level, the reason why you can't get with this, those guys, they for you get, they get friends on, because a man who's soft doesn't make you feel safe right and the first thing a woman needs to be able to relax and be feminine and to be able to be in her body and present and be the things that we love women to be, is she has to feel safe.

Speaker 3: 14:54

She has to feel safe, she has to feel connected. Then she can breathe. And those guys, the nice guys I've been there, I've done it. You know, don't make a woman feel safe. So, you know, do you end up in the friend zone and you don't know why? Because you've let go of your masculine traits, you've let go of the things that women need the most in the world to be able to relax into their feminine. It's not that hard.

Speaker 1: 15:20

That makes so much sense. I just I liked how you said that it's about. You know when's about. When we become too soft, then the women in our relationships don't feel safe and I think that's true, because what we're projecting and we're saying is that I don't have the balls to stand up for anything, and so if I'm not going to stand up for anything, how am I going to protect her?

Speaker 3: 15:39

Absolutely how am I going to look?

Speaker 1: 15:40

after her. So she's sitting there wondering, well, when is he going to stand up and say and do something? And you're sitting there thinking, hey, you know, I want to be, you know I want to be respectful, and whatever BS you're telling yourself, and then what ends up by happening is she loses respect for you Instantly, right, and then you sit there, that's how we get to that friend zone and listen. You can be in the friend zone and be married.

Speaker 1: 16:04

No kidding and you can be married a number of years and be in the friend zone. That was part of our relationship challenge with my wife and I. We've been together for well. We'll celebrate 20 years this year and you know a good chunk of this last seven or so years were pretty much friend zone stuff and it wasn't until I started doing men's work to start to get a bit of a picture and especially talking with yourself, andre, and getting a better handle on because the thing is for guys is we don't have these conversations you and I are having today with our bros right.

Speaker 1: 16:39

We just don't know how to do that, because we're all coming off the same song sheet and it's a really bad song.

Speaker 3: 16:45

Well, you know, we tend to be again, I, I, I, I don't like the concept of you know, it's because we're just built that way, which we are. Right, there's a lot of instinctual things that drives both men and women, and one of the things that drives men that's. That is not necessarily um, right, because there's a lot of good about that. Right, men tend to be stoic. Yeah, men are not emotional. Men don't fucking fly off the handle, they don't do this. That's a feminine thing to do. When a guy can't control his emotion, he's a girl. You understand that.

Speaker 3: 17:20

Every guy in jail is a girl with a penis, yeah, they lose their shit and somebody gets hurt, somebody gets murdered, somebody gets raped, somebody gets beat up, somebody gets scammed, right? So emotional men are not stoic and these are the guys who are dangerous, these are the guys that are toxic, these are the cheaters, the scammers. Right, they're not masculinity, it's toxic masculinity. That's what that is, right. So it's a lack of masculinity that makes men dangerous and toxic. Ladies and that's only a small percentage of men, but you know, it's kind of spread through the system that all men are like this. That's not true. So stoic is interesting because we can. That's part of being masculine. We have to control our emotions in order to not be dangerous, because when you lose your shit, you know, because of testosterone, people get hurt. This is what I just said, right? So stoicness is amazing because that's like I said.

Speaker 3: 18:16

Understand this women are all about their emotions. Women are all about their feelings. That's where they live, through their feelings day in and day out, moment to moment. Everything they see, smell, taste, touch, hear makes them feel good and bad moment to moment, and that will change moment to moment, just like the weather in Winnipeg, right, I think it just will shift. Sometimes it's us, sometimes it's not, sometimes it's traffic, sometimes it's their mother, sometimes it's her work, sometimes right, she's good, she's bad, she's angry, she right, she's good, she's bad, she's angry, she's sad, she's happy, she's mad again, like in one day. Now we don't do this, we kind of still, which is the best. This is why we're made that way, right, we're the. The yin yang of masculine and feminine is complimentary. It's essential. We stabilize them Right and they inspire us, and I can say more about this, but the yin yang is beautiful. So so being stoic is beautiful, however often what happens to us.

Speaker 1: 19:13

We're so stoic that we bottle everything up.

Speaker 3: 19:14

I was just going to say this. And this is when we get in trouble, because if you've had really challenging childhood lives, you know no, daddy, bad daddy, don't know who you are, don't know how to be it and you don't know how again, friend zone. You don't understand women. You struggle with everything. Who do you talk to? You know, as a kid I was bullied. Nobody knew. Nobody knew my parents, my friends. No one knew why. Because it was humiliating. I'm not going to share that with people. That makes me a pussy, right? I won't Stoic. Nobody knew. Yeah, like. So that's not necessarily good, is what I'm saying.

Speaker 3: 19:55

So our instinct is to be stoic. However, this is how men's work comes in. This is where men's work comes in. We need each other to support each other, to relate to our problems and our pains and our struggles and all the stuff that we're dealing as men, because it's not easy to be a man. It is not, you know, women who think that it's easy to be a man. You know, if you stepped in for a minute, you realize no one gives a shit, it's all on you, you have to handle it. No one wants to hear about it, you know anyway. So only men. This is this. This is this is the actual. Only men can help men with their men problems.

Speaker 1: 20:33

Absolutely.

Speaker 3: 20:35

So if the actual only men can help men with their men problems, absolutely so. If you're a man out there struggling with a misunderstanding or not understanding yourself and struggling with women, struggling with your life, struggling with getting ahead, struggling with discipline yourself and build yourself up, go join a mentoring group of men they're everywhere and get some men's support, because if you bring your troubles to your girlfriend, your wife or your mother, they will completely lose respect for you in four minutes. Women don't want to hear our troubles because again it makes you appear weak. And if you want to lose complete respect of women, go cry on them. See what happens. So what I'm suggesting is not to not cry or not to do it with the man. This is where it's appropriate. Oh, anyway, you got me going in well, I sit there.

Speaker 1: 21:21

I think there's so much that we that we share in in mindset and I think the challenge that you know, that I see in my, in my men's work at least, is that the guys you know they have a bad experience in a relationship and so what they try to do to compensate is to do the exact opposite of everything and I sit there and say you know, maybe some things needed to change, but only own your part of it.

Speaker 1: 21:46

You know, and this comes back into I know you've talked a lot about you know how equality, or this idea that we need to be equals in a relationship, is a way to make it work, and what guys have a struggle understanding. Is that not? I said in the intro, are you leading or are you following? Yep, and we have to. We have to understand what position we're in in each time we're having these interactions, especially when things are aren't going great. So let's talk a little bit about this, this mindset that a lot of us have about.

Speaker 1: 22:16

well, we need to be equals, and that doesn't mean asking her to have her opinion about making a decision. I'm talking about the overall thing of being hey, we're equal in the relationship.

Speaker 3: 22:28

Again, everything I teach is nature, science, psychology, the biology of our bodies that creates the thinking and the acting. That was right. So men and women are not the same, which means men and women are not equal. They're equal in importance, right, but they're not the same because now in our culture, equal became the same. So a guy is supposed to be sweet, sensitive, vulnerable, blah, blah, blah. No, that's a girl. And we raise women to be boss babes. Go girl, don't need no man.

Speaker 3: 22:55

Right, in the sense like it's trying to equalize the playing field, thinking if we get equality out there in the world for opportunities for work, for money, for business, it's going to create a more fair playing ground. So if everybody could actually succeed, and you know kumbaya, and it's all going to work. Look what's happening. Exact opposite, because that's not how it works. Men and women are complementary. Everything in nature that works, that flourishes, that expands, that grows, is polarized Masculine, feminine, yin-yang, black-white. One needs to exist for the other one to exist as well. So equality. So as human, we just think everything in nature is polarized. Everything in nature is polarized masculine, feminine, in every species on the planet. There's nowhere that the female acts like the male, primarily because she makes babies.

Speaker 1: 23:50

Yes.

Speaker 3: 23:50

So he's got to protect the woman who makes his babies. I mean he's got to protect the babies and the his babies. I mean he's got to protect the babies and the family went. So he's the hunter, he's the protector, he's a fighter, he's the one that's out there fighting and getting the food with this buds to come back, to bring it back to the camp, right, like it's just nature again.

Speaker 3: 24:07

So the idea that we're now, we're equal, so we both get to work, we will get to fight, we both get to compete. We, we both get to fight, we both get to compete. We become man on man and then the relationship is a disaster because man on man is competitive, it's not complimentary, and women have decided that they have the right to excuse me, drive, or you know what I mean. You can't have two drivers, you can't have two pilots. The plane crashes If you both go for the wheels. The plane crashes Now in every. Again, ladies, breathe, breathe. I'm on your side. You know it's just what's not working. I'm pointing out what you bought into that's not working. You could be a boss babe at work. You could be a boss babe in the world. You could make your own money. If you're the relationship with a man. The plane's going to crash. You cannot both go for the wheel.

Speaker 3: 24:55

So, and again, if you talk about even in business, there's one CEO, right, yeah, right, the president, vice president, pilot, co-pilot, driver, navigator right, there's a guy on top who has to drive the show In every business, otherwise the thing collapses. You can't have two on top fighting. So again, there's nature here, there's a, there's a what works as opposed to what doesn't work. So equality in relationship doesn't work. Somebody has to drive more and somebody has to support the driver and along with you know the, all the flexibilities in the negotiation that comes in between, like the, the, the assistant, what's the assistant CEO call, like, so there's a president and the vice president. The vice president doesn't make decision, except they'll have a conversation with what's best for the company, how to work it out, what we should do. We should stop doing. Right, that's a fucking relationship, you guys.

Speaker 3: 25:45

So when women decide they're gonna drive and it needs to listen to her and you know she needs to do it this way or these things to be this way, because that's what she's more comfortable with, without conversation, you end up man on man. You're competing, you're fighting, you're man on man. This is going to be. This is why people fight so much. Right, don't tell me what to do. You know I'm a grown woman, yeah, okay, but you know, in a system of, we know what's funny and I'm going to say this it's not funny, it's against statistics. I'm not getting statistics. I'll give you numbers until you just want me to shut up, but the statistics tell this Strong, independent, powerful women who make money they don't need men to support them who have kids especially, want men to lead the household.

Speaker 3: 26:32

They want men to be at the helm of the family. They want him. Women want to be led. This is nature all over again. So you could stomp your feet and scream equality and call feminism and patriarchy all you want.

Speaker 3: 26:48

When the dust settles and the toxic ones stop talking, would the women that are left, who think for themselves, go? Yeah, I don't want to do any of this. Yep, I'd rather just let a man just lead me. I'll support him and we'll again negotiate the terms of everything that needs to be negotiated in the dance, because relationships are a dance. There's no equality there, and I'm going to do it again, because I do it every time. If you look behind me. It's my wife and I dancing. There's no equality here, it's complimentary. It's my yin to her yang. So I lead and she supports my leadership. I can't take her on a fun, exciting adventure on the dance floor to make her squeal. If she's going to try to control this, she can't. So what I do is by the way, the metaphor is fantastic In the dancing when I'm dancing with my wife, when I lead her in an adventure on the dance floor, right, I could be a bully.

Speaker 3: 27:43

I could be. I could overlead her, I could actually hurt her. I could crank her shoulders, I could crank her elbow. I've done it. Do you know what I mean? If you're too forceful, she gets. You know, she gives. So in the relationships men who are too forceful which is very rare nowadays opposite, they just stand on the dance floor, put in their arms, they don't move and they go. What do you want to do, babe? And she's like how about you do something?

Speaker 1: 28:08

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3: 28:08

Yeah, but I don't. I want you to be comfortable. Yeah, I want you to be comfortable. Yeah, well, this is uncomfortable. Do something, do something. Take me, do something, but men don't know how to do it, anyway. So my point is, if I want to step into my masculine, I have to be sensitive to her needs. I have to lead her with a certain amount of sensitivity so that she knows she's not going to get hurt. If she can trust me and knows that I'm not going to hurt her, then I, if she can trust me and knows that I'm not going to hurt her, that I'm really supporting her, I'm protecting her. Right, I'm taking on an adventure, but she has to be comfortable for her to let me do it. There's a relationship you know model again. Then she can open up and be vulnerable to my leadership and let go of control, because she can't control this, because we're going to. If she tries to control and or even help get this, I get the elbow to the nose or the knee to the groin. I've done it.

Speaker 1: 28:59

Yes.

Speaker 3: 28:59

Women who can't be led like you end up fighting with them on the dance floor. And what happened, ladies, is when you think if you lead your man, or that you're 50-50, like a dance, it won't work. What happened is elbow to the nose or knee to the groin and guess what? You're going to find yourself on the dance floor by yourself. This is what's happening out there. So it's not equality, it's not 50-50. It's leader, you know, and assistant leader.

Speaker 3: 29:25

My wife supports my leadership, right, in that she can relax and be vulnerable and open and slip into her femininity. You know what I mean. And she again and it's a lot of communication without words, right, with the body language, with practice. So all these things have been negotiated. She kind of, she knows, she understands my leadership, she flows my leadership. Again, she needs to trust and feel safe that I'm not going to spin her to a table. Another couple at the wall, right. So for her to let go of control is where the beauty of the dynamic runs.

Speaker 3: 30:00

And guess what, if you've ever watched ballroom dancers or any kind of dancers like couple dancing, no one looks at the guy. No one looks at the guy. Why? Because the woman is radiating with she's free and feminine and just like, completely in adventure of it. She's in the moment, she's present, she radiates, you know, beauty and femininity, just because she lets go. Yeah, right Now I'm doing all the work on some level. That's not true because she has to support her side and all that stuff. She's doing everything I'm doing backwards in a dress. It's not easier, but it's complimentary and again, and she gets all the glory, she gets to feel like a girl, she gets to let go and be taken on an adventure for right and makes me proud to be the guy and makes her happy to be that girl. That's the relationship model. What are we fighting for here? Equality does not work. 50-50 does not work. You can't just go for the wheel. Both go for the wheel. The plane crashes.

Speaker 1: 30:56

I completely agree with that, andre. You made a couple of comments there I just wanted to touch on you talked about. In this last little bit you mentioned two words One trust and the other negotiating. How do we as men go about building trust? Is it through the negotiation or is that something different? About building trust? Is it through the negotiation or is that something different?

Speaker 3: 31:15

Well, for her to trust you, right, she has to know that you have your shit together, you know how to lead right, you know who you are, you have good character. Right, you discipline, right, you're not going to let her down. Like, for her to feel safe, you have to get your life together, period. So, like, women still expect men to be traditional, provide, protect, cherish, give support, help. That's what women still want. But in our culture we teach women to be nothing, to not be traditional. Don't eat, no man, I don't cook, I don't clean. I'm better than being somebody's wife and kids will ruin your life. Okay, all right, way to go. And then at 35 plus, you become a client of mine going. I don't understand. I'm lowly, I'm bored.

Speaker 3: 32:00

Money does not make women happy. I'm going to say it again Money does not make women happy. Relationships, healthy relationships, all relationships around a woman is what makes women happy, period. The relationship with their family, apparently with their, you know, love, relationships with their family, with the people in their work, in their world, the mailman, right. Those relationships. As long as her relationships are healthy and flowy, women are happy Going to work in an office for 50 hours a week.

Speaker 3: 32:34

You know traffic, the car, the insurance, the paying the bills, right, none of that makes women happy. And again, it takes to 35 plus for women to wake up to this shit. They don't want to do it, they're tired and they don't know why they're doing it. But they were told go girl, you don't need no man, they're dangerous. And then they come to me with but, but I want a man, but I don't want to work so hard, but, like I, I want companionship. But and and it. What happens is they've been so masculinized they can't get a date. Young, beautiful women can't get a date completely invisible to men, because when you're masculine, when you're a masculine woman, everything that's attractive about you is out the window.

Speaker 1: 33:14

Yes.

Speaker 3: 33:15

Masculine men are attracted to feminine women. So when everybody shows up masculine, you become like a rock. I don't see you, I don't care how you dress and how you smell, you're just a rock. You know in a dress, everything about you. So so these women are like pretty, they have their shit together, they have money, they're like I'm no maintenance, I should be attractive to somebody. But no, you're not attractive to masculine men. They don't want you, they don't see you.

Speaker 1: 33:39

Do you?

Speaker 3: 33:40

know what I mean. So these women don't know they can't get a date. If they get a date, they don't get a second date. They get ghosted Again. Beautiful, capable, powerful women. What's wrong with me? I go. You're too masculine.

Speaker 1: 33:51

Yes.

Speaker 3: 33:52

And they go. That's mean. No, it's the fact. You know you show up with your balls and put your balls in everybody's face and you think that's attractive. You've been sold a lemon. What you do, your money is irrelevant to masculine men. They don't give a shit about what you do. It's interesting because that's who you are. But my point is you think you impress a man with the fact that you're a CEO. You make three. No, that's not what men are looking for. That's not so. That's the disconnect. That's the disconnect for these ladies. So when you masculinize for 20, 25 years, you don't know how to be feminine. You don't understand what men are attracting.

Speaker 1: 34:32

And what?

Speaker 3: 34:32

happens to these ladies, which is even worse. Right, because in my world I think we talked about this there's three types of men. There's men, guys and boys. And boys are the men who did not grow up, the men who do not live through their natural essence. So, instead of provide, protect, cherish, give support, help women, right, instead of giving and supporting women to make them feel safe, because that's what every woman needs, these guys have been feminized so much. No, daddy, bad daddy, boss, babe, mom, you know to be a sweet boy, and they realize this is a big problem out there. A third of men are now boys, per our culture's modeling. Yeah, by the time, if you over cuddle and effeminize a boy, by the age of 13, he gets to believe that women are here to serve him like his mother. So these boys, these men, child, they're everywhere is what my clients, women will attract solely. Again, nature kicks in yin yang, masculine, feminine, positive, negative. If you're a masculine woman, you will only attract feminine men right and those guys are the toxic cheaters.

Speaker 3: 35:47

Assholes, right, move into your house because it's not doors. A douchebag doesn't pay rent, borrows money they say he's going to pay back. He never does, drives your car because he can't fix this piece of shit. And six months into this. But they're sweet and sensitive and they talk and they seduce you very well because they're girls with penises. They know what to say to seduce you, for you to take care of them, to pay for them. They take your time, your money, you're advised. They suck everything off you, opposite of what real men do, and you wonder what the hell happened to your life six months later and you think that's man. That's not man, that's boys. But you're only going to attract ladies. Look at this, this is huge.

Speaker 3: 36:24

If you don't tune in your energy to attract masculine men which means you have to follow, you have to be in your feminine position you will only attract boys and you'll think that's men, because nature does what it does. You magnetize, opposite of who you are, and you'll think that's men. You'll be resentful and then you'll say men aren't shit, men don't. They're cheaters. Yeah, those guys there's only a third of them that are this. So you're completely invisible to the real man, the one who are traditional, so that's a big problem. One who are traditional, so that's a big problem. That should be a reason for you to get on the phone and try to get ahold of me or somebody like me to tune that up, because it's not going to change by yourself and you can't just say, oh, I'll be a girl now. It's much, much deeper than that, after you've been trained your whole life to be a man. Oh, I did it again, sorry.

Speaker 1: 37:15

It hurts.

Speaker 3: 37:15

It hurts me. Did it again, sorry, it hurts. It hurts me to watch these ladies are in pain. It's not cute, it breaks my heart.

Speaker 1: 37:22

Yes.

Speaker 3: 37:23

Men are confused, men are lonely, men don't know where to throw themselves, and the ladies are angry and lonely. It's horrible Like he has to stop.

Speaker 1: 37:31

Well, I think part of the challenges for for many of us as men is that we don't really even know what we want, right, like we don't understand it. Because you know some of my experiences that with some of the work that I'm doing is that men have really, really struggled with this decoupling from their mothers, right, and that's that's why we were looking for that. That's someone that's going to, you know, take care of me, do my laundry, and you know, just just mother me, and we don't understand that. That's that's not what makes a healthy relationship. So in your work, what is it that? What do men want? Or what do we? What do women want? Maybe I should ask that instead, what do women want, so that we have a better understanding in our minds, so we can show up properly and we know what work we need to do.

Speaker 3: 38:19

It's very simple. I said it earlier Women need not want, need to feel safe in order to be feminine and present and warm and lovely Women who are feminine. You'll see older women who are naturally feminine because they're not from this fast couple generations, who know how to be lovely women and there are radiants everywhere and they smile at everyone and everybody knows their name. They have a circle of people who recognize and love them. There's just radiant, beautiful women who kind of uplift the room when they step into space. Do you know what I mean? So women need to feel safe. Uplift, you know, the room where they step into space. Do you know what I mean? So women need to feel safe.

Speaker 3: 39:03

So what men need to understand is the only way to make you feel safe is for you to become somebody, somebody, something solid. You have to build your character. You have to build your confidence, which means you have to discipline yourself. Do something that's hard to do. Do something that's hard to do, whatever it is right. Build a business, build a career. You could, whatever Is that some, you know, something that gives you character, that builds your self-confidence right, that you could be proud of. What happens is if you push in, step into your life and make something of yourself. You have to to get first self-respect and get respect for the world, for both men and women. So it's not about chilling, it's not about what do you want to do, babe. Where do you want to go? Do I see you this weekend? Do I see you Thursday night? Like what?

Speaker 1: 39:47

the fuck is that?

Speaker 3: 39:48

right, women are like dude, I don't know your shit, but again, in a world where we don't want to be toxic, right, we think we're being polite, we're being passive, we're being soft, women hate it. You're saying they don't, it's not a little bit. They hate it, they fucking hate it. Yeah, don't put it on me. I've been where I work all day like make the fucking plan. Excuse my french. Now I'm cursing because I'm passionate, but there's a french in me. Yeah, my point is like so, men, you guys, you have to handle your stuff. You have to handle your stuff, stuff, and you have to know who you are and when you kind of build your character and your confidence and you're relevant out there in the world, you're making money and you're making a difference.

Speaker 1: 40:26

This is when men go I'm here, right, and women find that absolutely sexy, absolutely Well, and you might use the word solid. You talked about building confidence. I think those are really key pieces. Again, those are that's the masculine aspect of of ourselves and we need to come back to and become more centered in. You know, what is important to us? Cause if we don't know what's important to us, how do we expect our the women in our lives to know what's important? You know, my wife and I were having been having this discussion back and forth. Like I said earlier, it's our 20th anniversary this year. We usually travel in October, when our anniversary is. We had thought of a couple of places, but no decisions had been made. Finally, I just said okay, we're going to do this. She came to me right after and said thank you so much, because this has been weighing on me for so long. I needed you to make a decision.

Speaker 1: 41:19

I sat there and thought, geez, how long am I going to carry this and all I needed to say is we're doing this and if she didn't want to do it, then we could have had the conversation and negotiated, but because it was sitting in the ether, this was slowly eating away at her and I think to myself. How many other instances are there in our relationships that men are doing that? There's a conversation and at some point we're not making a decision?

Speaker 3: 41:41

yeah, I'm not saying we need to make all the decisions, but to make one right, but this is the stuff that women hate.

Speaker 3: 41:47

If you're not decisive, you're kind of big a noodle and she's if she. If you're, if you lose, she's gonna have to pick up the slack. Now, this is again instinctive if you don, if you don't lead, she's going to and she's going to hate it and she's going to judge you for it and she's going to lose respect for you. Right? If you don't make the plan, she'll make the plan. If you don't get things happening, she'll make things happen. I guess it's the same thing in the dance, by the way. Right, and because I'm in charge, I'm thinking I have. I'm also planning ahead as I'm doing something. I'm actually into the next step, right. So I know, just like. So, if I have a brain fart, right as I'm leading her, and a second ago, wait, what? Like a second, the one, I go, wait, what do I do next? Do you know what I mean? She instantly stiffened up, like in my arms, like she can instantly feel that now I'm out of control, and which means she's out of control and she's unsafe and I'm seriously. It's like lightning bolt to her body and then she's going to try to help and this is when I get hurt, right. So the same thing in relationship. If you don't have it, man, she will take it and she will resent you for it because you scared the shit out of her. You're not a leader, she is Again. If you understand women want to be led, then you have to know where the hell you're going for her to feel safe, serious. It's not that complicated, so you don't ask her, get this. I'm going to tell you an example of the way I do it with my wife now and again. I used to be the polite guy. So what kind of movie you want to go see? Right, thinking of being polite. She hated it Because if you ask a woman what she wants and when she wants it, how she wants it, you put her the masculine. They hate it. You're the man, right, but we think we're being polite. This is what's culturally the big problem for a lot of guys. Don't put her in charge, because if something goes wrong, she will blame herself and it'll ruin the evening. Get this seriously Like if she picks the movie and the movie sucks and you get out of the theater going. This is bullshit, I can't believe. I paid 26 bucks for that shit. She's going to be mad at you because she made the bad choice of the movie. Now she's disappointed you and it's going to ruin the evening and you're like, no, but it's not your fault, oh, too late. You put her in charge and she made a bad decision. You just ruined the evening.

Speaker 3: 44:03

I've had clients come at me with going out for dinner on Saturday night. Where do you want to go? She says I want to try this new restaurant. This is a true story. And they went to the restaurant. Everything was covered in cheese. Oh, everything's covered in cheese.

Speaker 3: 44:22

So he looked at her after she asked her where she wanted to go. She wanted to try this new restaurant. They get there and he's like I can't eat anything here, I don't want anything here. He goes, I'll just have a glass of wine and you eat whatever you want. She got furious slowly. It took like 10 minutes. She went dark in front of me, just disappeared. Yeah Right, she stopped making eye contact. You know I'm like I don't know what happened, like she literally was. You know I go, I got we we ate quickly. Cause she was miserable. I put her in the car she's not talking to me, looking outside the window, you know and he drops her off.

Speaker 3: 44:56

They were dating at the time and he says I don't know what happened. I'm like you dumbass. You put her in charge and you said you know your choice of restaurant sucked, you ruined the evening. Yes, well, that's not, it's not my, it's not her fault and I go. I know it sounds so weird Even in my look at this.

Speaker 3: 45:23

I tell her when to be ready, right, seven o'clock. You know we step out when to be ready, right, and the level of fanciness, because she needs to know how to dress right. Do you know, I mean, if we go to the beach, obviously, instead of shoes and shorts, right, like, even if we go, like, have a taco on the beach, that's a different than, you know, going to the italian restaurant. You know. So the level of fancy, you know, casual, medium fancy, fancy means high heels, hair, hair up, dress like, boom, like the whole thing. Yeah, that's all I say. I go seven o'clock, you know level of fanciness. And and I say nothing else, and she literally gets giddy, like she does the Fred Flintstone thing like on her toes, yeah Right, it goes in her dressing room and you know, obviously I give her two hours to get ready. I give her whatever she needs to get ready.

Speaker 1: 46:19

Yes.

Speaker 3: 46:19

So I need to warn her way ahead of time. So she knows seven o'clock to be by the car. So the more fancy she's going to, the longer it's going to take her. So she whatever, and she gets in the car. She's giddy, she's excited, she has no idea where we're going.

Speaker 1: 46:34

She didn't care well you know that sounds so similar what we were doing. We decided as a couple that, you know, I took the second friday of the month, she and she took the fourth friday, and the goal was that each one of us would plan a date night, an outing, and it was up to that individual to make all the choices. So, after we had talked a little bit about it, did something similar. You know, I like what you talked about. I like the idea of fancy in this level, cause we did everything from.

Speaker 1: 47:02

we're not dancers. We have nowhere, nowhere near the level that you and your wife are. So that was one of the things we did. I chose that. I thought what a great way to really learn intimacy Trust is to get on the dance floor, because we have we have to trust each other on the dance floor is to get on the dance floor because we have to trust each other on the dance floor, otherwise, like you said it's going to be a knee to the crotch or a knuckle to the face.

Speaker 1: 47:23

We had so much fun doing that, but what was nice about it is that we didn't have to worry. We put some rules around it. When it's those nights, there's no friends unless we check early. The goal was to spend time with each other. We just don't have a lot, yep, and so I like how you've structured that and what a simple tool that we can use for our inspiration.

Speaker 3: 47:43

There is. Now. I have to say this, because it doesn't work Like, you have to know the woman in order to be able to do that, right, like. So what happens, just like on the dance floor. She knows what I'm going, know what she doesn't like, I know what she likes, right. So we have history. So it's easy for me to go seven o'clock, you know like, one, two, three, and then she's giddy. She knows what's going to happen, it's going to be an adventure, it'll be something new, whatever. Right Now, in the beginning, though, in being in a relationship, the girl's like how about you make a plan?

Speaker 3: 48:20

You know, unless women don't say this, but they want to say this, how about you make a plan and let me know what the plan is? Now, okay, so get this. So I tell men this. So, of course, you don't know her. So you want to know, like you know, maybe she, maybe she hates sushi, maybe she loves sushi, maybe she hates Italian, right, or Mexican, you don't know, yeah. So, instead of guessing or putting it on her, especially on a few in the beginning of a relationship don't put it on her she says don't put it on her, you look like a pussy, you. You are going to stress her out with these decisions.

Speaker 3: 48:52

Right, if you want a girl on your arm, take control, take charge, take the lead. You got to have a girl on your arm instead of a dude that you put in charge and you wonder why she's not be present, anyway, so get this. So you go, like this, I go forget. Don't ask her what she wants, don't ask her what she wants, because she doesn't know what she wants, and that's a whole different conversation. But factual women don't know what they want they. But factual women don't know what they want. They don't. They stuck, they get, they get stalled. They get stressful when you ask them that.

Speaker 3: 49:19

Right, I said, don't ask her what she wants. Ask her what it is that she doesn't want. She knows exactly what she doesn't want. She was a while and she might say I don't want sushi tonight, okay, so that's your guidance. So, okay, got it. So no sushi. Uh, they make a plan to get back to you, right? So now I was a woman. You have to just let them lead, right, you don't get to like, you just got. You want it to lead, you want to feel like a girl? Then let them take it. So, for the man ask her what she doesn't want. Right and okay. So I'll do stuff like this with my wife in the beginning, especially Seven o'clock, we're going to Italian long dress. Bring the dance shoes, because we're going dancing afterwards. That's a plan, right Like now. A woman's like this is first flattering. It's masculine it's gentlemanly.

Speaker 3: 50:15

But this is the caveat Are you ready? Because again, men will say well, what if she doesn't want to go Italian? What if she doesn't go salsa dancing? Right Again, the idea is to make the plan to make her feel like you're the man. To make you feel like you're the man. Make a freaking plan. That's what they want. I'm telling you. I hear this every day. Make a freaking plan. Let me know what it's flattering, it's anyway. So this is the caveat Seven o'clock Italian, you know? Fancy salsa shoes, right. Here's the caveat. Are you ready? This is what. This is what makes you a hero and a king. The man. Listen carefully. I mean, people pay a lot of money for this advice I give you for free, I'm giving you, I'm gonna give you one for free. It's worth it. Then you say to her you make the plans, you announce the plans, you go. How do you feel about my plan?

Speaker 1: 51:05

Ah now.

Speaker 3: 51:07

That gives her the opportunity to adjust a little bit. Right Now, ladies, you don't get to undo the plan. You get to like adjust it for your comfort. You're a woman, you're going with this plan right. You're going with this flow. You want to support the leadership, you want them to right. So how do you feel about my plan? Means often the lady would say, well, can we go a little earlier Cause I don't want to be home too late. Adjust, you're a hero, you make the plan is right. Or you know, like, whatever it is like, how do you feel about it? So you make the plan. She feels like a lady. You're the gentleman and you're respectful enough to ask her how she feels about it. And she gets to tweak it if she needs to.

Speaker 3: 51:47

Again, ladies, you don't get to undo it. You don't get to say I want to go salsa dancing, I'm not doing Italian. This is when you end up. You know staying home next time, yeah, because you can't make a man. You know you can't ask a man to lead and then make him wrong for leading, can't do it. So my clients would typically say, like I really don't care what we eat, as long as he does it Right, right, literally, like if you're allergic to my mother's delicious, delicious shellfish.

Speaker 1: 52:13

Right.

Speaker 3: 52:18

So her, her, she would say I'm a little selfish, take it, She'll eat anything. So women don't care If you take the lead and you know, especially a new place, a new restaurant or something, it's an adventure. That's what they want. Yes, take the damn lead, man, take the damn lead. Ask her how she feels about your lead. And now you're the king, the gentleman, and she thinks, wow, this guy's got his shit together. Never met a guy like this before. Welcome to our culture. It's not that hard. It's not that hard.

Speaker 1: 52:49

I know, I know and that's why we have these conversations to help all of us get better at showing up. So, just as we start to wrap up here, andre, of everything we spoke about today, maybe there's something we didn't get a chance to touch on. What would be the one takeaway you'd want our listeners to have?

Speaker 3: 53:04

Well, the things that I say all the time is because, as again, we talked about this in the beginning it's very, very hard to go against the cultural tidal wave of shit. What's out there is shit in relationships, in love, right In dynamics, there's a lot of it's. The movement out there is putting everybody against each other as opposed to see the possibility of coming together everywhere. So I want to say and this is what I do with my clients right, like, what is it that you want? What is it that you want? Your mother, forget you made some terrible choices. Who's telling you that men are dangerous? Because she picked poorly, or she didn't have set boundaries, or you know what I mean? Because this is all about that. Right, it's a dance. So she didn't, she picked the wrong partner and or, you know, never learned to dance with them and struggle that that's not on you, right? So, like if your mother scared you that men are all that's crap. There's no such thing as men are all and they're always and never right. Same with women, like when somebody says you never, you're always, this is crap. Right, it's you, it's you, it's you, sorry, it's you and your choices, and you bet you know whatever, whatever. So I have my assistant.

Speaker 3: 54:19

My assistant is 28 years old, lovely young woman, wants a traditional life with three kids. She can't say that out loud. Women attack her Girl. We need to talk. What is wrong with you? You're better than you know than being somebody's slave. Wife and children will ruin your life and she's like can you just drop dead. But because she's feminine and she wants to be a girl and a woman and a wife and a mother, that when she calls it out they attack her and she feels terribly uncomfortable with this. So she learned to. She can't even say that out loud because she gets attacked Her mother and her friends, so she can't say that out loud. So she has to bottle that up because she wants to be traditional.

Speaker 3: 55:10

So what I'm saying here is this especially with the ladies and the men, what do you want If you want family and kids? Forget your culture, forget your mother, forget your girlfriends, forget your freaking university teachers who, like, twist your brain with all this bullshit. You want to be a girl, you want to be a mother and a wife. Go fucking do it. Men are traditional out there. Men are much more traditional than women are nowadays. So men, I'm telling you, men who gather their lives together, want women. They want wives and children. They want to build an empire and put their arms around all of it and protect it. This is, men are still that, more than women. It's the women who don't want to play the game. Okay, well then, there you are.

Speaker 3: 55:56

So I'm saying make use your own brain, make your own choices. You want to be a wife and a mother? You want to be nutritional? Step into it a hundred miles an hour and forget everything that this, anybody else, is telling you. That's wrong with you. It's crap. You know what I mean? You want to be boss, babe, make some money and and fine, just be that. But for the man, same thing man up, get your shit together, go to the gym, build your character, build your confidence, build your body, build your brain. Think for yourself. Forget what anybody's saying out there about masculinity being toxic. Fuck it. Step in and all of a sudden you get really sexy and you have an array of opportunity, of chances with women, because you stand out now in a culture where men don't step up. So handle your shit and you get sexy. So simple, man. I love that. Just saying so. Make your own, think for yourself, make your own choices and forget all the shit that's out there. It's not going to help you.

Speaker 1: 56:52

What a great way to sum everything up. Love that. Thank you so much, my friend Andre, for being on the show again, and so yes, sir we had such an outstanding conversation about masculine feminine relationships, everything. If men are interested in getting a hold of you participating in your work, what's the best way for them to do that?

Speaker 3: 57:09

I actually have two gifts for your listeners.

Speaker 1: 57:10

If you don't if you don't mind so two gifts.

Speaker 3: 57:14

So my website is project equinoxnet and you're gonna do, know, and it's connected to youtube's and and I just got suspended on instagram, which is hysterical, uh, I don't know. I think it's a mistake because there's nothing I post. That's even, you know, near that. But I've all the social media is connected to the website so you, you can go to the website and spend sometimes, uh, researching what I do. But my gift to the listeners because I do a lot of podcasting for this reason, because, again, my God mission is to change the culture of belief, bring hope and relief, and that this could all work, because it's actually not that complicated if you don't listen to the culture. So that's my job, to get it out there. So thank you for helping me send the waves out that this is doable, it's repairable, it's, it is hope, it is. You know, people want relationships, both men and women want relationships, anyway. So, if so, I do podcasting and I listen. I realize in doing podcasts, this is two types of listeners. Typically, there's people who want information and people who want to take action. It's interesting. So my two gifts go like this so, if you want information this is more for the ladies right you could email me directly. Andre coaching, one at gmailcom. Andre coaching, the number one at Gmail. That's my direct email in the the title box.

Speaker 3: 58:38

If you say workshop, what I do is I have a 25-minute free workshop about how is a woman in the world, modern women who are encouraged to be masculine go for the money lane but still want the love lane? Right, there's two lanes and you can't be in both lanes. It doesn't work. Women try to be in both lanes. It doesn't work. Women try to be in both lane and this is why they suffer. So how do you balance the love lane? Because you have to work with the money lane. I mean the money lane with the love lane. There's a way. So this is a 25 minute sort of workshop. It's free.

Speaker 3: 59:12

If you say, if you email me, andrecoaching1, I will send you the link and you can listen to it. It's good information, right, it'll give you a sense of the work that I do and what doesn't work. Okay, so again, it's not out there. So that's gift number one. Gift number two if a person and the people who are like, okay, this guy got some stuff, I'm curious, I want to talk about. You know my challenges, right, it takes a little courage. I would say you go, andre Cochin, one at Gmail. In the box you write talk now and I'll send you a link to my calendar.

Speaker 3: 59:52

Well, you'll book a call, a one-on-one call, like you and I right now with me, and we'll talk about where you're stuck, what's not working, what's your trouble, right? So, like I said, my nickname is Dr Dre, right? Call the doctor, we'll talk about what's not working, what you're hurting. It's always based in childhood, right? A lot of my work is therapeutic and release of trauma. That's where we start.

Speaker 3: 1:00:12

I can't get anybody in a healthy relationship until you unload your baggage. We all have baggage, but the women who are masculine have some bigger baggage in childhood. The men who are feminized or stuck in feminine also have their baggage. So in that call, in really 15 minutes, we get to literally get to your baggage and you realize exactly when the wheels came off and why you're stuck, why you're stuck in the loop, why you keep attracting boys if you're a woman, why you're masculine if you're a girl and what it's costing you, and same with a man.

Speaker 3: 1:00:44

So that call alone when you realize that it's circumstantial, there's nothing wrong with you, it's so liberating for some people to just say because if you know, circumstantial, and it's not your fault, they're not broken, it's fixable, and this is what we do Right. So from there, what's the dream? What's the dream life, companionship, marriage, kids, whatever. It is Right and I'll talk about. You know different ways to get invested with me if you want to, but for some people, just that call alone would change their lives For sure they're not. They could walk around understanding that broken, liberating Absolutely. That's my guess for y'all.

Speaker 1: 1:01:19

Love it. I'll make sure those are in the show notes for today, as well as all the social media wherever they can, so people can find you. Once again, brother. Thank you so much for being on the show. Just love the conversation.

Speaker 3: 1:01:29

Anytime, and we could do it again, and, again, and again. There's like 75 different ways to approach this whole thing. But, my man, I appreciate you helping me getting this out there to bring hope to the world.

Speaker 1: 1:01:40

You betcha.

Speaker 2: 1:01:49

Thank you for listening to the Revolutionary man podcast. Are you ready to own your destiny, to become more the man you are destined to be? Join the brotherhood that is the Awakened man at theawakendmannet and start forging a new destiny today.