Financial Infidelity SHOCKS! The Hidden Emotional Scars with Connor Tyson

Ever felt like financial success is just out of reach? Learn from Connor Tyson, a financial advisor who transformed his life from financial turmoil to triumph, and gain the insights you need to do the same. Connor joins us on the Revolutionary Man Podcast to share his journey and provide actionable steps to achieve financial clarity, build a solid safety net, and overcome stagnation in various areas of life. Understand the importance of adopting new financial habits and taking control of your financial future.

Struggling with financial stress and its impact on your relationships? We tackle this head-on by exploring the emotional challenges many men face when dealing with financial instability. Discover the SMART consumer method—Self-awareness, Motive, Affordability, Research, and Time—and how it can transform your financial decision-making. We'll also discuss the benefits of joint bank accounts for couples, enhancing communication and coordination in managing finances together.

Building wealth isn't just about numbers; it's about mindset. Connor dives into essential habits like budgeting, prioritizing expenses, and shifting from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance. Learn how to confront limiting beliefs about money, and uncover the power of empathy, active listening, and setting passionate goals. Finally, explore the importance of financial coaching to create a secure future for yourself and your family. Visit www.progressfc.com for a complimentary consultation and join the Awakened Man community to start forging a new path.

Key moments in this episode:

• 05:41 Common Financial Struggles
• 12:36 SMART Consumer Tips
• 14:02 Joint Bank Accounts and Trust
• 17:08 Financial Infidelity
• 19:57 Building Good Financial Habits
• 24:00 Money Mindset and Limiting Beliefs
• 26:23 Indicators of Financial Success
• 29:19 Mentorship and Advice
• 31:12 Final Takeaways and Contact Information

How to reach Connor:
Website: https://progressfc.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/connorthefinancialcoach
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/connorthefinancialcoach/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/connor-tyson-chfc%C2%AE-07391a45/

Chapters

• 0:04 Achieving Financial Success and Security
• 9:56 Building Trust Through Open Communication
• 20:12 Developing a Money Mindset
• 24:40 Overcoming Money Mindset for Success
• 32:13 Creating Financial Security Through Coaching

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

financial success depends on three things. It depends on clarity, habits and accountability. And in saying that it, what is your level of success for each of these? As men, our wives and families need three things from us the need to feel safe, to be heard and to be seen. And when it comes to safety, it's more than just physical.

Speaker 1: 0:25

Financial safety plays a huge role as well, and if we're not able to provide that financial safety for ourselves and for our family and what they deserve, then we're going to be in big trouble. And so today we're going to talk about what that means, what it looks like to have set yourself up, and before we get into that in today's episode, let's get to come to grips about one thing, and that is it will be inevitable that there will come a time and you're going to hit a wall, whether that's a marriage that's not working, or career or business that's stagnated, or your personal life maybe it's just flatlined. So if you're dealing with any of these or a combination of them, and you're finally fed up with where your life's at, encourage yourself to get ready to do your hero's quest. It's where you can become more, live more and be more than ever before. Just go to memberstheawakenedmannet and start your quest today, and with that, let's get on with today's episode.

Speaker 2: 1:23

The average man today is sleepwalking through life, many never reaching their true potential, let alone ever crossing the finish line to living a purposeful life. Yet the hunger still exists, albeit buried amidst his cluttered mind, misguided beliefs and values that no longer serve him. It's time to align yourself for greatness. It's time to become a revolutionary man. Stay strong, my brother.

Speaker 1: 1:54

Welcome everyone to the Revolutionary man Podcast. I'm the founder of the Awakened man Movement and your host, alan DeMonso, so there's a couple of things I want you to keep in mind as we listen to today's episode. When it comes to your financial goals, are you on track to providing a safety net for your family? And if you don't have that safety net in place, when will you get there? There's a lot of pressure on us being husbands and fathers, and we choose this because we know deep in our gut that our lives are fuller in these roles, and so, while there's pressure for us to perform, it doesn't have to be at the cost of our health or well-being, and all we need is just some guidance. And so today, my guest intends to do just that, as he spreads a few breadcrumbs on the trail to providing financial security and safety for our family. And so allow me to introduce my guest.

Speaker 1: 2:45

Connor Tyson has served clients for over 22 years as a financial advisor, and while today his financial house is in order, it wasn't always that way, and even though he had the financial book smarts to back it up. But reality was a much different picture for Connor, and so today he teaches families on how to take control of their financial home through his company, progress Solutions. And so welcome to the show today, connor. How are things, my friend?

Speaker 3: 3:10

Thank you, alan. It's good to be here. I love the mission that you're on and you brought up some big core things that I truly believe in. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 3:18

I'm really looking forward to diving into these concepts here today, but, as on this podcast, we're always talking about everyone being on their own hero's quest, and so that's my opening question for you, connor, is tell us about that experience with money as a young child and how that shaped your life, and what did you do about it and how that experience shaped you.

Speaker 3: 3:36

Yeah, it goes all the way back. I was a young kid and my father was pretty well off right. He did risk management for a pretty big company called Northrop Grumman. They build airplanes right. So that's a lot of risk to manage. He's the head of risk management. He got compensated very well for it.

Speaker 3: 3:50

My mother came from a big Irish immigrant family brothers and sisters she's second youngest, so everything was passed me down, so she was an innate saver. My dad was basically a spender, right, because the lifestyle he afforded himself and they got together and she basically became a spender, also because of the comfortability that he provided. Then he went independent. He started his own risk management company, consulting company and basically in the 89 recession went bankrupt. At a young age I saw a lot of fighting, told you Joe, finger pointing, yelling so I knew there was something to this money thing at a pretty early age. So I took it upon myself to try to learn everything I could about money. I actually went to college, got a degree in finance. I became a chartered financial consultant CHFC, all that stuff and at the age of about 23, I looked down and I had about 90 000 a debt and I said, oh man, I I became my dad, yeah, and I I really thought it was about book smarts and uh, knowledge and all this other stuff. But it's really habits and behaviors. And that's when the aha moment hit and I was like, so it scared me to the bone, to the core of. I felt like a fraud inside, like who am I, all this stuff? And I basically had to start saying no to the things. I had to say no to, yes to the things. I said yes to and change some habits and behaviors unapologetically to those around me. And that's really where the journey started, right, and within 15 months, I was basically debt-free. I've been debt-free since but, like you said before, I was a financial advisor for 23 years.

Speaker 3: 5:31

I built up a financial planning practice and then I kept bumping into myself over and over again.

Speaker 3: 5:36

Right, I mean a lot of guys out there that are listening right now you might have some debt and you're checking all the boxes like, okay, I'm paying my debts on on time, I got a steady paycheck coming in, I got a little bit of money in the bank, I'm saving for retirement, but it was like there was too much month left over at the end of the at the end of the money and it was a little bit of stress and these guys would come to me and say, listen, I'm not making any progress, like I think I'm doing everything I should be doing and life comes out as fast, right, you mentioned marriage and people wake up late 20s, early 30s and it's you look up and you still remember the college days or hanging out with the buddies and then all of a sudden you're like two cars, credit cards, two kids, marriage, mortgage, oil bill, summer camp, family vacation and women have a security gland.

Speaker 3: 6:26

It's like behind their ear and I heard it so many times like I'll figure it out. And I looked it up it's not in the personal financial handbook but that saying is not there, so it's not taught in schools. And I took it upon myself to be that solution Because I heard so many times like I'm not making any progress and people resign themselves to this is the way. It upon myself to be that solution, because I heard so many times like I'm not making any progress and people resign themselves to this is the way it's going to be. And I just got scared for people.

Speaker 3: 6:52

I was like this doesn't have to be like this, you can actually take the bull by the horns and change your habits, right, they don't change your stuff in schools, and it's a shame, but you're trying to build a car, driving down the highway, trying to figure it out, just like everybody else, and the financial industry is not going to do anything to help you because they want you to be dependent upon them for the answers, to sell you stuff. Right, and I used to ask two questions why do you own it? How does it benefit you? And I would get blank stares, right, and that's when I really knew I was like, wow, this is. And then it got worse and worse. You see, here in the States, student debt crisis, student loans, credit cards and it's not getting any better and people are trying to figure out how to do it. And I was like you know what? Let me do things that I wasn't compensated for, which was showing people how to manage, get their financial house in order right, tell your money where to go versus wondering where it went. How to become debt-free, how to align your principles of values with your money right, so you can live out that purpose of being the provider for the family and doing the things you want to do, and so I put the flag in the ground.

Speaker 3: 8:02

I became a money coach, a personal financial wellness coach. I don't sell any products or services. I just meet people where they're at judgment-free, have a conversation, say listen, you're not alone. Something like 68% of guys your age are probably in the same boat, and that's it. We take them through a process and we give them the confidence and the tools and resources to get where they got, to go and empower them.

Speaker 3: 8:23

You talked about confidence and clarity. That's where it all starts right Clarity of like their why, what is it they want to do and why is that important to them. And what does that mean? Who else is dependent upon you? It's all habits and behaviors. Like, I'm a righty, I brush my teeth with my right hand. If you asked me to brush my teeth with my left hand, it's going to be awkward, uncomfortable. I'm not going to want to do it. I'm going to want to revert back to my right hand. Right, and that's human nature. But if you have a clear enough why and a big enough why and have accountability and follow through, you can accomplish a lot of things that you didn't think were possible.

Speaker 1: 9:00

I completely agree with everything you said there, just furiously writing down some notes, and I just I really appreciate about your story. And so I wanted to start with your childhood, because it's a typical childhood for many of us that we have parents. We really mirror what was happening with our parents and how they were handling money. And next thing, you know, we find that we find ourselves in similar positions. I know, I'm the oldest of five and I grew up in my early teens.

Speaker 1: 9:28

In the mid-80s we're up here in Canada, interest on a mortgage was 25% and I'm not sure if it was that bad down there, but I can remember my father struggling mightily to put food on the table for five of us and mortgage payments up and up through the wazoo and somehow he made it through. And I think when we stop to recognize some of these unconscious things that we have picked up, then it can really impact our lives. And the other comment you meant comment you made was about waking up when we're 30 and really realizing what happened to my life. And we just had that conversation with my youngest son, who's 29 this year, and he was saying the exact same thing. Like I'm, he said, dad, I'm looking at my life and I don't have really anything to show for it. So I said to him thank goodness you found out at 29 and not 59. You got a little bit of runway.

Speaker 3: 10:21

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 10:22

And so you also talked a little bit there about feeling like a fraud, and I think that's why I talked about in the opening, about as men. We're here to be this provider and protect and take care of our family, but when we do look at our financial home and we can see that we're not doing as well as we can feel like a fraud, and so how common are you finding that with your clients and what kind of toll is that taking on their lives?

Speaker 3: 10:44

Yeah, oh, it's intense, it's emotional, like you said, health-wise, they're not sleeping, they're fighting Number one reason for divorce, all this other stuff. It's Wednesday, let's have a money fight and it's not their fault. You know what I mean. Like you said, you learn from your parents what you see, what you hear, what you observe. There's a couple of different households we all come from right. There's either a lot of communication out in the open about money, or there's closed communication, or the emotions are really high, or there's no emotions, right. So it's like you learn what to do.

Speaker 3: 11:18

I came from the house where I thought I could always out earn my bad mistakes, my bad habits, like money was going to come and I always said you know, I'll make up for it in the next couple months. And it's like with exercise, you can't outrun the spoon. Yeah, you know what I mean. And it was like I was spending more than I had made coming in. I didn't have a process. Yeah, I didn't have a process, so I didn't know if I was on track, off track. I just took the temperature of what it was that day and I was very reactive versus proactive. I was looking at where my money was going versus telling it where to go. There was a lot of instant gratification right Like I deserve this or I A lot of that self-talk too, going on and I had to get real clear as to how that was serving and it really wasn't it's a great question.

Speaker 1: 12:13

How is it serving you? That was the other thing I wrote down. Your other two questions is why do you own it and how does it benefit you and, geez, if we just had those? Now that we have those, you've given us that we can just remember those and the next time we're about ready to make a purchase we have something, do I?

Speaker 3: 12:29

really need this. Yeah, I take a couple of guys through. You want to become a smart consumer S-M-A-R-T. And S is self-aware, right. Self-aware why am I buying it? M is the motive right. Am I angry? Am I sad? Am I looking for affection? Am I just looking to fill some kind of God-shaped hole in my life? Am I pissed off at the wife? Am I just, you know, maybe dreaming about when I was youth, or whatever? It is right? Or maybe it's something I really want and it's going to serve me right, based upon the principles and values I have and move me closer to the person I want to be. So that's M motive right.

Speaker 3: 13:12

A affordability Is it in the budget? Is it there? R research have you done your research? Have you looked? Is this the right vendor? Is this the right price? Is this? Who else has bought this? Is it quality? Is it cheap? Is it expensive? Yeah, and then T is the time right? Opportunity, cost If I spend this $900 on this thing or whatever it is, I might not have plane tickets for the family vacation. And those, just those five questions right there, will make you pause and think. And if you do that, I imagine you'd become a smarter consumer. So it's things like that. We have tools like that, habits and behaviors of that, yeah, so those are some of the things.

Speaker 1: 13:50

I love that acronym. Connor was on the website and you have this blog on there that you wrote about 10 money must do's, and one of the things you talked in there about was having a joint bank account, one that in as being one of those things to do, but it seems like today that's a bit more challenging, as couples tend to get together a little bit later on in life, they're a little bit more independent, and so how does a couple build trust and safety if they have separate bank accounts?

Speaker 3: 14:18

Yeah, it's a good question. I don't tell people what to do, it's more of the why and the how of things. Right, you manage your house the way you want. I just know for communication, coordination of things, it's usually good to be on the same page. So if you can coordinate that in two separate accounts and have open communication, by all means I use like with relationships.

Speaker 3: 14:37

When I got married I don't know if that was in the blog, but it was like the priest at the time that married us he was like listen, I just know that about firemen. I said what is about firemen? They have a really strong bond that is almost unbreakable. And he said they don't go, they know people over things. They know people over things. They communicate during really scary situations and they also know where everybody is at any given moment in that scary situation. And they I just found for myself I want to have a unified front and if I'm trying to fight this battle on two different fronts from two different viewpoints, it's a lot more difficult. So if I have one battle plan, one coordination, I can move the pieces on one board and communicate that and have open communication with my partner. It just makes things easier.

Speaker 3: 15:30

Right Now. It's difficult for guys that have been through marriages before. Right, it's the trust factor. I get that you might have been burned or whatever, but even having joint accounts would not have saved you from that, Not here in the States at least. I also. I know, listen for guys. You want to have that fantasy football league money on the side, you want to okay, Not financial infidelity, but she'll probably be okay with it. You just be open and honest and say listen, I need to have this, it's important for me for these reasons or whatever that is. So I just know from coordination, communication wise, one joint account for the game plan is a lot easier, Not that you can't have it. If you can prove to me that you can do it on a very efficient manner, then yeah, my hat's off to you. I just I tried it that way. It was two worlds coming into one. My wife did one thing one way and I did things the other way. We had to find one universal way of operating with money and winning with money together.

Speaker 1: 16:24

That makes complete yeah, it makes complete sense to me. And when we do talk about and do work with, with couples here, what that's one of the three legs on our three-legged stool is having open and honest conversations about money. Because how, in utah, mentioned it right at the get-go there you're, I think you said your mother was more of a saver initially and your dad was a spender, that there was lots of money coming in the household and then and then she started to shift, and so I think when we understand that dynamic of how we approach money can also help with the conversation. So, regardless of whether they're joint accounts or a hybrid of it, however they're doing it, I think your key in what you were saying in that message is really about having open communication. And then you mentioned this piece about financial infidelity, and I thought that I had never heard that term before. So help us understand what you mean by that. And what do we do? How do we recover from it if we've stepped into that landmine?

Speaker 3: 17:15

Yeah, most problems come from fear, right, and we tend to lie or bend to truth or hide certain things we either have shame, guilt, remorse about, or we don't think we'll actually get our way right. We're going to lose those things we don't want or not attain the things we want. That's really what it comes down to. And, yeah, I just know that when you start acting on that stuff, it corrodes the foundation of what you're trying to build. I've been guilty of it. Believe me, everybody has right and you get, sooner or later. The truth comes out sooner or later. Sooner or later, the truth comes out sooner or later.

Speaker 3: 17:53

And you I'm of the belief where you want to have open communication right from the get-go, brutal honesty, and there's some things you're going to green light and some things you're going to red light on it, nope. So there's things that my wife does that I don't understand at all, like why would you spend a hundred and some dollars on your eyebrows and eyelashes a month? What are you out of? She's like I don't understand why you spend $250 on golf, right, and what a fantasy football league. How stupid is that? I'm like no, it's camaraderie with the guys. We get together and we get the keeps me in the game and all that stuff, and that's okay. It's just open, honest communication. Sometimes that's what marriage is okay. It's just open, honest communication. Sometimes that's what marriage is.

Speaker 3: 18:31

Sometimes it's give and take, and it's the same thing with money. But if you start, it's a lot of pride too. Pride is a pretty big, let's say, roadblock. Right, my ego gets in the way of a lot of things. I know better my way to highway, like you don't know what you're talking about, but I did. We'll get to it in the end, but like the solution to all that. But sooner or later the truth comes out and I've seen some pretty bad ones, right, where back on taxes, government taxes not being paid. Back on taxes, government taxes not being paid. And the wife finds out and it's yep, you got a tax bill for $78,000. That's scary, absolutely Right. And there's other things right.

Speaker 1: 19:19

So there's separate bank accounts, and but that's not common, it's more common, I'd say probably 20% of the time We've touched on a couple of your, of your three pillars, or you talk about clarity and we got a little bit into that, and then we're right now we're really talking about being accountable to each other as couples, but we haven't quite yet touched on habits, and so I really like your quote and you mentioned it already today is about you can't out earn your bad habits and where do you find that are the most common bad habits people have around money and what can so one of them is being reactive versus proactive right, and what I mean by that is right now it's July, so somewhere around July 26th, pull out a calendar and look at August and plan out your money when you're going to get paid.

Speaker 3: 20:12

You probably know the amount or in and around that amount, amount or in and around that amount and then you basically list out your fixed essential needs more shelter, food, utilities, transportation, medicine and then, if you really think about everything above and beyond, that's a want. And then just go down the wants, prioritize those and if you have money left over, give it a job Like what is it supposed to do? Pay off debt, retirement, save for the tire replacement fund, the family vacation fund, something, because if you don't tell money where to go, it's going to tell you where it went, and it's true. And that's one habit, one behavior. And that's one habit, one behavior, right, people that have wealth are pretty good with money. They know what their money is doing, where it is and why it's there. So that's one big one, that's something that I would definitely.

Speaker 1: 21:17

That's one behavior that would definitely be a game changer and that makes so much sense. Right, because really, what it does is it taking up here in canada. One of the things and I'm we're not as familiar with the us banking system, but I we can set everything automatic so that your check gets deposited automatically into your account, checking account, but you can also prepay and pre-set up all your bills and have it all everything looked after, and while that sounds great, it also takes you out of the game, so to speak, because you're not really paying attention anymore and so go right ahead.

Speaker 3: 21:49

Yeah, it's true, you want to have a little bit. You want to have two wheels on the two hands on the wheel at most times. You want to be able to steer the car a little bit. Where do you increase that? Are you checking in with it? How is it doing? How close am I to that goal?

Speaker 3: 22:03

So it's like a roadmap versus GPS. They still give you the same information direction, but one's more up to date. Live, we got cops ahead, we got roadblock here. Our map is just a map, right? So the more information, the more frequently you check in with that, the better you are. I believe. Otherwise you'd still be with roadmaps. But yeah, that's another thing, right?

Speaker 3: 22:31

So automation is good because we don't have self-discipline. I get that, that's a muscle you got to work. But you don't start with that. You start in baby steps. You can't just change everything overnight. You start something small. Let's find out where we are today. Where's point A, where's our money going today? Rip off the band-aid and look what are the numbers right? And there's a lot of fear behind that. Like I call it the ostrich technique. You put your head in the sand. It's going to go away, it doesn't, right? So sometimes it's like having somebody that's not emotionally invested just tell you listen, this is how it is and this is where we are, but it's not. It's just a number. It's not who you are as a person. It's not your fault. You got here, yeah. What do you want to do about it now? Moving forward? Right, use the windshield, not the rear view mirror. You can beat yourself up all about it, but now let's pick ourselves up and move forward. Let's get a process in place and start winning absolutely.

Speaker 1: 23:20

I was just thinking, as you're telling, explaining that I have two very wealthy friends and we'll get together and hang out and heal. Both of them will always talk about. The first thing they do in the morning is they check their investments, how they're doing, where they're at not that they're necessarily going to take any action, but they're keenly aware of everything that's happening for them. And really the reason I bring that up is that I really think it's what's about a money mindset, and I know you talk about that in your work as well, and I first came across the idea of a money mindset through Harv Eker's work, and you have a money mindset guide that you've presented for people. And so what are a few common limiting beliefs people have about money?

Speaker 3: 24:02

So one of the things I hear a lot I can't afford that. And the biggest thing is just say yet. Just add the word yet to that. You'll figure out a way. If it's important enough to you, you'll find a way to get there. So it's scarcity versus abundance. There's things that I see that I want. It's not in the budget today, but if it's important enough to me, I'll work towards it and sooner or later I will attain that for me and my family and what's you know important. So that's a big mindset. Scarcity versus abundance is a big one, right? And we all have made mistakes with money, all of us. You're not alone.

Speaker 3: 24:40

There's this like this isolation thing where the people think like they don't want to share what's going on. But I can tell you I've looked behind the curtain, I've worked with thousands of clients. It's not. It's basically all the same, regardless of the income, the symptoms, it's all the same stuff. It income, the symptoms, it's all the same stuff. It's the same behaviors and habits, regardless if you make four hundred thousand dollars a year or forty thousand a year, it's the same stuff and the numbers are different, but the mindsets are the same.

Speaker 3: 25:11

I've also had it where people have had more money than you know what to do it and they're scared to spend it right the fear of loss. So once they obtain that goal of two million dollars, now they gotta hold on to it and it's like an open hand gets more than a closed fist. But to have them to open up that fist and say, listen, this is what you work for, now let's spend it, I thought that was amazing. Like I came across many people like yeah, that's interesting, where I was like, wow, this is a different view of it. So it's the things that we tell ourselves, the perspectives, the things that we believe, that just aren't so and you need an outside perspective to try to challenge some of those ideas and say is that really true?

Speaker 1: 25:52

absolutely I'm going to encourage anyone to when we'll get to where they can get a hold of you. But I had a look at that money mindset guide you have. It's fantastic, phenomenal because you really are challenging us to look at our money blueprint and make some changes, and change. Look at these some limiting beliefs that you had in there that I didn't really align to, limiting beliefs, so I love that. So what are you finding right now is the number one indicator of success for people that have success with managing money.

Speaker 3: 26:21

Oh, that's a good question. Clarity and motivation. So people like I had an aha moment, right and I hit bottom emotionally all that stuff and I had to get really clear as to why I wanted to start this journey in the first place. It wasn't I want to get out of debt. It was the feeling of being out of debt, what that would enable me to do, the things I would be able to do, and I had to get really clear as to what that was. I can spend more time with my family, I could travel. What are my principles and values? I don't want a budget. It's like a B word, right Broccoli. What I want it yeah, it's like a b word, right broccoli. Like, yeah, what I want is the feeling of being in control of my money, being intentional and not having stress about it. That's what I really want.

Speaker 3: 27:04

You got to peel it back a couple layers, but once you get clear on that's the motivation that'll push you through the peaks and valleys of things. Right, it's brushing your teeth with your left hand. It's awkward, you don't want to do iy. Right, you're non-dominant hand. You want to revert back to the right hand. But if you have a clear enough why and accountability of follow through someone. You share that with them. Why is it important to you? And if you share with them, they'll get behind you, they'll support you in that effort and then they'll celebrate you, because it's rare, it's really rare that people put themselves up in the bush.

Speaker 3: 27:48

Enough is enough. This is not serving me anymore, nor my family. I'm sick and tired of feeling this way. What do I need to do? And the why? And then yep, I this way. What do I need to do? And the why? And then yep, I want security.

Speaker 3: 28:01

What does that mean? It's not just a word, it's not a bumper sticker. What does that specifically mean for you? I want freedom, I just want to be free. Okay, what does that mean for you specifically? So what I always say to people, like the saying of, like, how do you do with the sight of blood? Like, oh, I'm okay with blood? You ask me, and then you ask the ER nurse it's the same answer I do good with blood. Two totally different answers. So you're like I just wanna be financially free and independent. Okay, what does that mean for me? It's totally different than what it means for you. Get very specific and share that and become passionate about it and that will get you through the ups and downs, because there are going to be roadblocks. This is not easy. It's not all of a sudden I open up a book and do it. No, it's breaking habits.

Speaker 1: 28:49

Absolutely, and it's the biggest thing and celebrating successes.

Speaker 3: 28:53

That's another indicator of success. When you get milestones, big or small, you high-five each other across the kitchen table. We are doing this and then you give yourself small rewards along the way, sometimes big ones, and that's what it's all about.

Speaker 1: 29:12

Man, love that, I just love how you put that together. You know what? I'm sure throughout your life here and going through everything that you went through in the early days, and maybe even now, you've probably had a mentor or two, and so I'd like you to think back to those mentors and what would you say was the best piece of advice you've been given, and how is it still serving you today?

Speaker 3: 29:33

Yeah, so I was thinking about this. I have a big mantra of seek to understand and be understood. What that encompasses is empathy, active listening and reflection, where you seek to understand where someone's coming from, what is their journey, what, what are their hopes, fears and dreams, why do they feel that way? Judgment-free, just to seek and then you can be understood. Where I used to always wanted to be just understood and I wasn't really listening. I was trying to get my point across. You don't understand. And how that serves me today is it's beautiful, like I don't have that. I really understand, with empathy of where people are at, judgment free, okay, and then I understand what's important and why it's important to them. It helps me.

Speaker 3: 30:23

It helped me with my marriage, right, help me understand her upbringing and why she doesn't. She's the silent scorn type. Why is that? She learned that from her parents like sweep everything under the rug or whatever, and mine was have it right out in the kitchen table. Let the neighbors here, who cares? Two totally different worlds. But I had to understand that Right and judgment-free, like, okay, how can we change these two behaviors to come into one and make our own life together and win. So seek to understand and be understood. And then small things add up to big things, small wins add up to big ones. That's another one that serves me very well, Absolutely Love those two.

Speaker 1: 31:06

That's great. You know, Connor, everything that we spoke about today and maybe there was something that we didn't get a chance to touch on. If there was a takeaway you'd want our listeners to have, what would that be?

Speaker 3: 31:18

You're not alone. You might be listening to this right now and be like, yeah, that's great for everybody else and don't listen to yourself. Right, the society that we live in wants you to be stuck in where you are and you don't want that, and your higher power doesn't want that. Your family definitely doesn't want that for you. And you're not alone and there's help. There's people that are willing to absolutely be your biggest cheerleader and push you over that mountain and help pick you up when you stumble, and you will stumble and it's okay. Fail. First attempt in learning. First attempt in learning Fail. So, yeah, that's one big takeaway. I used to talk to guys and they are embarrassed.

Speaker 1: 32:11

shame, remorse, listen. I've had hundreds and hundreds of lot for being on the show today and really, regardless of where our financial position is, we can create that safety net for ourselves and for our family. So if men are interested in getting a hold of you and participating in your work, what would be the best way for them to do that?

Speaker 3: 32:30

Yeah, you can visit my website. It's wwwprogress. You want to make some progress? Fc like financial coaching progressfccom. There's all the information on there. Everybody gets a 45-minute complimentary consultation. It's just a conversation, no sales pitch, no nothing. Show you the tools process, what coaching is all about, and see if there's a good fit and you might work away with some tips, and tricks and strategies to help you and your family.

Speaker 1: 32:58

Love that I'm going to make sure that information's in our show today shows notes as well as any other place that you're on the internet, to make sure that people get a chance to get a hold of you.

Speaker 3: 33:07

So once again, my friend, thank you so much for being to the Revolutionary man podcast.

Speaker 2: 33:25

Are you ready to own your destiny, to become more the man you are destined to be? Join the brotherhood that is the Awakened man at theawakendmannet and start forging a new destiny today.