Fear EXPERT Reveals Shocking Truth About Turning Fear into Ally with Dennis Merritt-Jones

Award-winning author Dennis Merritt-Jones opens up about fear, presenting it as a surprising ally rather than an enemy. Through insights gleaned from his latest book, "When Fear Speaks, Listen: The Seven Messengers of Fear," Dennis reveals his transformative personal journey from desperation to inspiration. Join us as we uncover how fear can guide personal growth and fulfilment, encouraging us to listen to its messages and consider it a pathway to embracing one's true purpose.

Our conversation takes a deep dive into the heart of discovering self-worth and living authentically. By connecting with a higher spiritual force and practising self-forgiveness, we can overcome shame and recognize that we are enough. Dennis shares how creating a personal vision, much like a business mission statement, can reveal our true purpose and help us navigate the societal impacts of fear. This episode is an exploration of how embodying love allows us to help others realize their capacity for love and self-worth.

Explore the nature of wisdom and the power of integration through mindfulness, as we discuss how being present can unlock life's gifts. By addressing the paralyzing effects of worry and anxiety, we gain insights into what we can control and what to let go. Dennis invites us to name our fears, stripping away their power, and offers practical advice on navigating uncertainty with purpose. This episode is your invitation to embrace fear as a tool for empowerment, ultimately inspiring you to own your destiny and step into the role you were meant to play.

Key moments in this episode:
06:53 The Seven Messengers of Fear
09:20 Understanding and Integrating Fear
23:46 Judgment and Its Descendants
27:43 Embracing Uncertainty
31:12 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

How to reach Dennis:
Website: https://dennismerrittjones.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DennisMerrittJones/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dennismerrittjones/
Book:

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Chapters

• 0:00 Embracing Fear
• 12:44 Discovering Self-Worth and Authenticity
• 13:15 [Ad] Rumi.ai
• 14:04 (Cont.) Discovering Self-Worth and Authenticity
• 19:22 Integrating Wisdom and Overcoming Worry
• 24:59 Navigating Fear and Uncertainty With Purpose
• 33:18 Empowering Men to Own Their Destiny

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Fear is as old as time itself. It's the shadow that lurks behind our thoughts. It's that whisper in the dark that often keeps us from pursuing our true potential. But what if we're looking at fear all wrong, in a world of uncertainty, of anger and worry that seems to dominate our lives? What if fear isn't really our enemy, but rather it's a messenger trying to guide us, to teach us and to help us grow? So today, we're not just going to talk about overcoming fear. We're going to talk about exploring how to listen to it, how to understand its messages and to use it to unlock our true purpose.

Speaker 1: 0:35

By facing fear head on rather than running from it, we can take a turn from foe into ally and transform our lives in ways that we've never imagined. So I want you to stay tuned with us as we delve into the seven messengers of fear and discover how they can help us transcend the limitations we often impose on ourselves. And before we get into all that, let's also come to grips about one other thing is that inevitably, there's going to come a time when your life will hit a wall, whether it's a marriage that's not working, a career or business is stagnated, or maybe your personal life is completely flatlined. So if you're dealing with any of these, or a combination of them, and you're finally fed up with where your life's at, then allow me to help you get clear on what needs to be done and how you can go about living the life you were meant to live. Just go to theawakenmannet and download our free setting the compass exercise. To get started today With that, let's get on with today's episode.

Speaker 2: 1:33

The average man today is sleepwalking through life, many never reaching their true potential, let alone ever crossing the finish line to living a purposeful life. Yet the hunger still exists, albeit buried amidst his cluttered mind, misguided beliefs and values that no longer serve him. It's time to align yourself for greatness. It's time to become a revolutionary man. Stay strong, my brother.

Speaker 1: 2:03

Welcome everyone to the Revolutionary man Podcast. I'm the founder of the Awakened man Movement and your host, alan DeMonso. Before we get started, allow me to ask a couple of questions. What would your life look like if, instead of avoiding fear, you embraced it as a teacher and a guide? How might your perception of challenges and obstacles change if you saw fear as a messenger bringing you a valuable lesson? And I want you to think about the moments in your life when fear has held you back. What if those moments were actually moments of growth opportunities behind every veil of uncertainty? How different might your life path have been had you listened to what fear was trying to tell you? So today we're going to explore this powerful idea of fear. Far from being our enemy, and can be a messenger of guiding us towards growth and fulfillment. And by listening to it and understanding the lessons it carries, we can transform our lives in powerful ways. To do that, I have a very important special guest today. Allow me to introduce him.

Speaker 1: 3:03

Throughout his life, dennis Merritt-Jones has been on a quest to inspire and lift people to a higher expression of life. His personal vision is guiding people to purpose, knowing that when one fully awakens to who they are and why they're on the planet. They can begin to nationally share their gift with humankind and, in that process, create an enriching life for themselves and the world around them. And, dennis, he's an award-winning author of seven books and his most recent book, when Fear Speaks, listen, the Seven Messengers of Fear, was released just this last May, in 2024. And it's going to be the topic of today's conversation. So welcome to the show today, dennis. How are things, my friend?

Speaker 3: 3:40

Good Thank you for having me. It's good to see you.

Speaker 1: 3:42

It's great having you on the show. As we were saying getting on to today's episode, I've been a big fan of your work. The Art of being, another one of your books, was really instrumental in helping me get focused and grounded in my life, and when you released this book, I just knew it was something we needed to talk about and get it out here into the world. And, as here at the Revolutionary man, we always talk about everyone being on a hero's quest, and so that's going to be my first question for you, my friend, is to tell us about that time when you knew life wasn't great. What did you do about it, and how did that experience shape you into the man you are today?

Speaker 3: 4:14

That's a deep and profound question because it goes back a long way. My hero's journey began when I had a spiritual awakening, in the 1970s. I was living a pretty shallow life up until that point. I had all the accoutrements of a successful life if you looked at it from the outside, but I wasn't a fulfilled person. And as I spiraled down that rabbit hole, it became more and more obvious that I was living out of desperation rather than inspiration. And when I began to drill down into my spiritual core, I realized that there was parts of myself that I hadn't really experienced yet, or I hadn't allowed myself to experience yet. And as I became more aware of that spiritual part of myself, I gave it permission to unfold itself through me and as me. I became the vessel through which it introduced itself to the world, and that sponsored all kinds of interesting thoughts about what needed, what I look at the world, I thought, what needs to be given to the world that is missing, excuse me. So each of my books, I think, answers that question to a specific area. The book we're talking about today, when Fear Speaks, listen the seven messengers of fear.

Speaker 3: 5:26

I wrote that book, alan, in 90 days, which is unheard of, and that's because I had no intention to write the book.

Speaker 3: 5:34

I just sat down one day and I realized that this is something that needed to be said, because it was my life story.

Speaker 3: 5:39

Not, the book is not a story about me, but I share my stories in the book. But the awareness I had was that we're always at choice of how we perceive things. Everything boils down to perception and perspective. Perspective is the angle at which we look at something, and perception is how we interpret the filter through which we see what we're looking at and to interpret what it means to us in our lives. And so the minute I began to become aware that fear had been a dominating energy in my life, I began to realize that I had to stop running from it, and the way to do that was to incorporate my understanding of application of spiritual laws and understanding that what you think and what you believe you're going to create more of in your life. And so, for me, it was about understanding that the fear was running my life. I needed to address it in a way that allowed me to transcend it, and that's how the book came to be born.

Speaker 1: 6:31

It's truly a powerful book. We've been going through your book this summer it's part of my men's work here with our band of brothers and it's been so profound as we started to unpack each of these seven messengers and then their inherent descendants that came with it, and I think the way I know, the way that you structured the book was so interesting, especially the descendants piece of it. And so let's unpack a little bit about the book. We've been teasing everyone, tickling everyone about the idea of seven messengers. How did you come up with these seven messengers to write the book?

Speaker 3: 7:04

That's a good question. To be certain, there's more than seven messengers of fear, but these are the messengers that spoke to me personally. So, again, this is my story of how I awakened to the fears that were having their way with me, that when I got clear that it didn't have to be that way, I could change the story, which is the hero's journey, isn't it? It's go out into the wilderness and discover something that you bring back to the fortress and makes you a better person and spills over into everybody else's life as well. Excuse me, I had just getting over cold, so I'm a little bit congested.

Speaker 3: 7:39

The seven messengers that I chose are the ones that really have defined my life, and that's what the book is about. Is the messengers of anger, worry, judgment, selfishness, shame, loneliness and uncertainty, and, of course, all of those have their descendants, by descendants. What I'm talking about is those particles of energy that dance around anger, which are rage and resentment, and once you understand that those messengers are there, I call them messengers because they're there, because they have something to share with you, and that's where perspective and perception comes in. The minute we begin to have the perspective and a perception that fear can be our friend rather than our enemy. We can begin to talk to it, query with it and embrace it. I use the metaphor of bringing your fear onto a dance floor and embracing it and leaning into its ear and say teach me, oh, master, teacher of this moment, what have you got to tell me that I can use to transcend you?

Speaker 3: 8:43

I'm very clear in the book fear is not our enemy, and so we don't want to try to get it to go away, because it's not going to go away. Take a deep breath Fear is ours forever. The point is that we can learn to be proactive with it rather than reactive with it, and the minute that happens, we begin to lead the dance with the fear that we have. And that's when we use them for our benefit rather than our detriment. The tendency is to try to anesthetize or deny fears or get them to go away or pretend that they're not there, which only enhances their presence in our life. You can run, but you can't hide. Fear is going to be wherever you go. It knows where you're going, and it's a matter of becoming aware that you don't have to run from your fear. You can stand, turn, face it and embrace it and have a dialogue with it, and that's what the book is about.

Speaker 1: 9:26

Absolutely, and a couple of great points that you made there several, but a couple that I just wanted to bring to light and touch on a little bit more. I liked how you did bring introduce the idea of perspective and perception, perspective being that angle. It's the way that we're, that is coming to us, and then the was how we're filtering it filtering it from our lessons, from our world, and what I appreciated about you having that as a distinguished element for us is that it challenges us to look at how our filters at least for me, it was really how my filter is affecting me in this moment.

Speaker 3: 10:00

Well, and if we come from a history, a background where fear has been our enemy, that's the perception we have that fear is the enemy and we're going to react to it rather than respond to it. So it's about adjusting how we're looking at fear and then how we interpret the fear. And you can't do that as long as you're running from it. You cannot do that. You have to turn face it and dance with it. It's hard at first, but when you learn to do the dance and lead the dance man, it's the most liberating thing you can imagine.

Speaker 1: 10:26

Yeah, absolutely, and I think that was the key point and one of the things we found with our bringing the book to light and to life.

Speaker 1: 10:34

And, by the way, those of you that pick up the book because Dennis also has an outstanding study guide to go with it to help you go through it it's just a fantastic way that you've put this all together for us, dennis.

Speaker 1: 10:45

And I think what was really powerful for me in watching the guys is when we started to talk about these descendants a little bit and you mentioned anger with the, when the two descendants, if I recall correctly, are rage and and resentment.

Speaker 1: 11:00

One is one is that piece of we're actively, we're so upset about it, and the other one is so it's almost forward thinking, forward future paced, and the other one really about what happened before and it's the burden that we continue to carry and that we choose to not let go. And when we we spent, we had to go a little extra, a little longer in the class in the course, because the course was set up for a few weeks, because we get, we got so deep just in in anger and in shame. I couldn't get over how much dialogue and how much as men we are carrying these two emotions, these two pieces, in our lives today, and so let's talk a little bit about shame now and talk about how, in your work, in what you're doing in supporting men as well, how you're helping guys deal with their and integrate their shame.

Speaker 3: 11:50

Shame. I have a black belt in shame. I understand it very well. I was raising a shame-based home. Uh, I'm not faulting my parents, but they did the best they knew how to do. But but the way that my mom controlled us, four little hellions, was to heap shame on us. Which way to control us? To shame. Let's clarify what shame is and what it isn't. In the book I use the explanation of the difference between using guilt as its kissing cousin.

Speaker 3: 12:16

Guilt is a feeling or belief that you've made a mistake. This is really important. Shame is a feeling or belief that you are a mistake, you're invalid. And the minute we embrace the idea that we're invalid, we live from a place of I'm not enough. And you know what, alan. When we live from a place of I'm not enough and you know what, alan, when we live from a place of I'm not enough, everything becomes not enough around us.

Speaker 3: 12:35

How can we create enough of anything good in our lives if we're operating from a belief that I'm not enough? It's impossible. So shame is why I dealt with it. I carried that for years. That was probably the most healing aspect of my journey has been to transcend shame and to realize that I am enough. And that sounds so airy-fairy and corny to say I'm enough, but it's the reality of the truth. And how I come to that conclusion is I live a spiritually grounded life, where I live in a universe where I believe I'm one with something larger than myself. And the minute I turn to that which is larger than me, that I know that it is enough. And if I'm one with it, I must be enough too.

Speaker 1: 13:58

Easier said than done, but but practice makes perfect, that's for sure and that thank you so much for bringing up the idea of the again that perception of what we see ourselves as a mistake and versus making a mistake. And how often do we attach identity? Well, and when we make mistakes. So things like when some of the things that we deal with in our, in my group, lots of with relationships, specifically in around marriages, and when infidelity has kept in, while it's a mistake, and it's a massive mistake, you aren't the mistake. You may have been the catalyst for it, but your work is to be able to transcend through that and become a better man than was at that moment. You can't do that unless you forgive yourself as well.

Speaker 3: 14:40

Self-forgiveness has a huge role. Authentic self-forgiveness is very liberating, but you have to realize that it's not something you do one time. You do it every day, because as human beings, we're full of flaws, and that's reality is to own those flaws and to give ourselves permission to transcend them. I wrote a book called your Redefining Moments Becoming who you Were Born to Be. That's what that book is about is taking you back to who you were the moment you were born, before the world got a hold of you, labeling you as right or wrong, good or bad, smart, ugly, tall, short, fat, beautiful All the labels that we wear. When we peel all those labels away, we get it down to the very core. We're an aspect of the authentic self, which is the one life we can define ourselves from that perspective, and we begin to redefine ourselves and who we are. We realize that we are enough.

Speaker 1: 15:33

Absolutely, and it is all of the, everything that happens through life and how and you made the mention earlier and I totally agree with you it's not our parents' fault. They did the best that they could with the tools and the skills that they had. Today, it truly is up for us to own our lives and start to take responsibility for it and step in and lean into that, and that's why I think this book is and while I may be slightly biased because we've been working through it, I think it's probably one of your most powerful, if not the most powerful book, because fear is so prevalent today. Just looking at everything in society, everything comes to us from a fear-based perspective, and so I appreciate you doing that really need to listen to our fear rather than avoid it and so can you share a personal experience where you really embraced fear that led you to a significant breakthrough?

Speaker 3: 16:26

There's too many experiences to share one. My life was sheer fear-based for years, and I ended up turning to a lot of recreational drugs and alcohol not addictively, but to a point where I realized that when fear arose, I was taking alternative choices to avoid it. And in doing that, I realized that I was going to continue to heat more gasoline on the fire when we decide that it's time to identify the fears that are running our lives and call them out on the carpet and sometimes we need help with that too. I'm a mentor, as you are. I work with a lot of people who are dealing with all kinds of issues in their lives, and one of the first things I do is try to get them to get clear on what their vision for their life is, because your vision and your vision will determine exactly where you go with your life, and a lot of times our vision is skewed and we're operating from desperation rather than inspiration.

Speaker 1: 17:23

Absolutely. I think that's so key for us to be able to truly have that vision. I think we're good at doing that in a business perspective Write your mission statement and vision statement and have all of these forward thinking statements, but in our personal lives, I think we tend to just take it for granted. We show up, we do the same thing day after day, tend to just take it for granted we show up, we do the same thing day after day, and until we have some form of a spiritual encounter, yeah, something that forces us to look at our lives, do we really recognize the power of having a personal mission statement, purpose statement, something for us to live from, because at least it gives us a reference point at our true north star, so to speak, to build from there?

Speaker 1: 18:03

and you've done. You've obviously followed that you're you're a doctor of divinity here. What, in your course and as you were going along, was that an ultimate goal as part of your vision was to continue to expand spiritually this way, or did it just?

Speaker 3: 18:18

that's a great question, great question. Let me clarify a lot of us think that our purpose is achieved when we arrive at a certain goal, right, at a certain point right, and then, ah, there's life and we've achieved, and blah, blah, blah. No, take a deep breath, my friends. Your purpose is not a place to go, it's who you are, it's who you need, and, and our purpose is in front of us 24-7, if we're willing to see it. Our purpose is to be the living vessel through which infinite intelligence, or life itself, operates and flows in a more expressive way, and I believe that at the core of infinite intelligence is love, and so my vision is guiding people of purpose, is to help people realize that they don't love themselves enough. If they did, they wouldn't be talking to me.

Speaker 1: 19:03

I'm glad they're talking to you, dennis, because you're doing such profound work, and even if they have the semblance of the perception of their lives is all in order, they're a little help. We all need a little bit of guidance.

Speaker 3: 19:14

What I can tell you is that my books are not lip service or things that I've read someplace and reurgitated. My books come from a place of having been there and done it. There ain't nothing like experience. That's what wisdom is. Wisdom is a collection of your past experiences brought to the present moment, applied to the present moment in a way that it alters your future. That's what wisdom is, and so my study of wisdom is that I take every experience I've ever had, call it good or bad or ugly or beautiful, and draw the value from it, the teaching from it. I'm a teacher. In my books you'll discover I do a lot of teaching. That's because I've learned that what you need to learn, the best way to learn what you need to learn, is to teach it.

Speaker 1: 19:56

Absolutely, completely agree with that and that's really how we start to integrate it and really I know agree with that. Then that's really how we start to integrate it and really I know that you do, you participate and do men's work as well, just as I do, and so one of the catalysts is really about this book for me was helping us really and we're using it in our men's, in our men's circle, but really to integrate all of these fears, these messengers and the and their descendants. So when I say that, when I use that word integrate, what does that mean to you? Integrate is a powerful word.

Speaker 3: 20:22

It comes from the word integrity. To integrate is to take. You ever had an integrated stereo system? You got your amplifier here, you got speakers there, your player, your tape player, your player there.

Speaker 3: 20:33

To live with integrity, spiritual integrity, is to integrate the awareness of the fact that you're one or something larger than yourself into every area of your life, in your relationships, into your work, into your physical wellness, every aspect of your life. If you're one with something larger than yourself, into every area of your life, into your relationships, into your work, into your physical wellness, every aspect of your life. If you're willing to integrate an awareness that you're part of something larger than yourself, you'll become more willing to allow that to have a fuller expression in your life. Integrity to integrate is to remember you're never alone. You're never alone. You're always one with something larger than yourself.

Speaker 3: 21:03

The awareness is in the moment of a conflict or a challenge is to take a deep breath. That's why I teach mindfulness and take a deep breath and draw into that moment awareness that you're not alone. So mindfulness is a powerful practice. You realize, you understand that. We all know our bodies are always present moment. They can't be any place other than the present moment. But where are our minds? A lot of the time, they're out in front of us or they're behind us, dragging the dead corpse to the past, and so mindfulness is what allows us to bring our minds back into the present moment, where our bodies are, and make ourselves available to receive the precious gifts that life can only bestow upon us in the moment when we're there to accept it.

Speaker 1: 21:41

Absolutely, absolutely. Wow, I love that Love that. I want to touch on one of the other fears that you brought up in the book and that is of worry and that emotion and how it really is linked to the fear aspect of it. But what can we learn from managing worry in a way that doesn't paralyze us? Because I know for me sometimes if I catch myself and I catch myself in that worry state, then I am paralyzed to take a step forward. So what advice would you give me?

Speaker 3: 22:11

The two descendants of worry are regret and anxiety. Worry projects us into the future, doesn't it? When we worry about something, we're putting ourselves in the future, and guess what? We have no control over the future, no control over the future whatsoever. We're living in an illusion or a delusion if we think we do. What we have the ability to do, though, is discern when we worry, discern what we have control over and what we don't have control over, and to realize, when we worry about something we have no control over, we're wasting our energy. If it's something we're worrying about that we can control, then go do it. That's yours to do, and if you realize it's not something you have any power to control or change, then get over it. Trust, let it go, and that's where you incorporate an awareness that you're part of something larger than yourself, and bring that awareness into the moment and surrender that issue that is sponsored by worry to be dissolved into the essence of something larger than yourself. That may sound like a spiritual cop-out to some people, but it's not.

Speaker 1: 23:13

No, I completely agree with you. It totally is. If it's something within our power to do, then we must do. We must take that action.

Speaker 3: 23:20

It's ours to do. Yeah, it's ours to do, then we must do.

Speaker 1: 23:22

We must take that action. It's ours to do, it's ours to do, it's ours to take ownership, take responsibility for, and then, whatever the outcome is, the outcome becomes and then it takes the power away from it. A couple of years ago I had a guy on my podcast, a psychologist, and he coined this phrase. He said name it to tame it to do, to heal it, to reveal it.

Speaker 3: 23:48

That sounds just like dancing with fear, doesn't it?

Speaker 1: 23:50

Yeah, and I just, and so that was just. I really liked that idea of putting some framework around that Cause.

Speaker 1: 23:57

That's the other part of a lot of these fears in what you've brought forward for us is that because you were able to help us name it and so make the association with descendants, it took some of the sting out of it. It wasn't this abstract idea anymore. We could relate to having regret, right, we could relate to having these other aspects that show up in our lives, and I think that's where we really went down the rabbit hole with it, and I'm glad we did, because it was so powerful that we got a chance to unpack it.

Speaker 1: 24:28

And another one that we really spent a lot of time on was on judgment and how deeply ingrained this is in our lives, and what I hadn't correlated and thank you for doing this for us was its descendants of superiority, inferiority and hate, and I just thought, wow, I hadn't recognized those as a connection. So let's talk a little bit about how those come together.

Speaker 3: 24:51

When I contracted with my publisher to get this book out, he wanted to do it next year I said no, this book needs to be out now, because what's going on in the world today? The elections and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. There's so much going on that, where fear is having its way with people, they need to wake up to the realization that and you know what Judgment is one of the we all judge. We all judge and the tendency is to understand why we're judging and then to pull back from judgment into realizing that when we judge, we're separating ourselves from the other person, as well as life itself. And we're not here to separate ourselves from anybody or anything. We're here to feel, you know, there's only one of us here, and judgment causes us to feel like there's more than one of us here and that the other, as I say in the book, we're judging the other as being right, wrong, good or bad.

Speaker 3: 25:37

It's not always. It's not always a negative connotation either. It can be positive, but it's still a judgment. Oh, she's more beautiful than me. That's a judgment. That's a judgment. Stop it. And there's ways to realize that. You can do that by calling it out. When we judge, we're either feeling superior or inferior to somebody else, which spawns hate, either hate of others or hate of ourselves. So deep breath, man.

Speaker 1: 26:03

Yeah, absolutely Deep breath is for sure. One of the practices we're doing now I joined this core group with with another gentleman just to, as I can, build some more skills and leading my group of men, and one of the things that we're doing in our check-in is removing judgment in how we check in. So we check in on how we're feeling in our body. So I've tightness in my chest. Overall, I'm feeling excited. Instead of saying more excited than yesterday because that's a judgment, I'm feeling excited and instead of saying more excited than yesterday because that's a judgment, I'm just excited today, I'm happy.

Speaker 3: 26:34

This is why emotional awareness is so important, yeah.

Speaker 1: 26:37

And I think it's really key for men.

Speaker 3: 26:40

Yeah, it is. Most men stuff their emotions down. They don't embrace them or honor them. Emotions how they show up in our bodies, they're reporters for what's going on in our minds. A lot of times we're not aware of what's going on in our mind until we feel it in the body. If we're conscious and present in the moment, we'll realize. The tightness in the gut means something, but too often we react to it rather than respond to it. When we react to it, we're doing something to push it down rather than let it out.

Speaker 1: 27:07

I think in your book you have, is it Frankl's quote about the space between action and reaction? Is that moment we get the opportunity to really create change?

Speaker 3: 27:16

Yes, and you have to be aware of what you're thinking and feeling in the moment to do that. That's why mindfulness is so important, because mindfulness puts us in the present moment. You realize that there's not one other creature on the planet that has the ability to think a thought or express a feeling and then step outside of the thought and look at it, analyze a thought, question it, challenge it, prod it, probe it, smell it, taste it, see if it works for you, if it doesn't change it. No other being on the planet other than people have the ability to become self-aware. Self-awareness is where we transcend the issues.

Speaker 1: 27:51

Absolutely, and we talked a little bit about what purpose is To me. I would also add that that is also that part of our purpose is to truly expand and transcend who we are, to be 1% better than the next day, and even that's a judgment statement as I say it out loud.

Speaker 3: 28:08

But it is about expansion. We need a baseline to be able to determine whether we're moving forward or not. I get that question asked a lot by some of my mentorees and I say, if your life is better today than it was last week, you're moving in the right direction.

Speaker 1: 28:22

Yes, 100%, 100%. Another one of the fears is uncertainty, and it's probably one of the more challenging ones for us to deal with, especially in today's world with just briefly touched on, and you're in the US, I'm in Canada, so in US, you're about ready to go into election here in the next 60 odd days. Ours will be a year later, so there's lots of uncertainty for people, and so how can we reframe the understanding of uncertainty to see it more as a source of possibility rather than a trigger about anxiety and doubt? Good question.

Speaker 3: 28:56

I wrote a book about it. It's called the Art of Uncertainty how to Live in the Mystery of Life and Love it. The reality is that life has always been uncertain. We pretend it's not until something pops up in front of us that scares us or causes us discomfort. Then we go into panic mode or fear mode. But uncertainty is as old as time itself, and so it's not a matter of making uncertainty go away because we've got it for life. Again, it's like fear Uncertainty is always going to be there. You can run, but you can't hide. Rather than try to avoid uncertainty, you learn to dance with it, and that's what the chapter in the book is about. That's what the book the Art of Uncertainty is about as well.

Speaker 1: 29:38

Outstanding Love, that your mission is to guide people to purpose and by helping them listen to fear. And so what advice would you give someone who's just beginning to explore this concept and who might be a little bit overwhelmed by the fears that they already face?

Speaker 3: 29:47

First off, take a breath. I teach mindfulness and breathing because your breath is what anchors you, tethers you to the present moment. Take a breath and realize that you're not here by mistake. You're here on purpose. Your purpose is to be on purpose, which is to be the vessel through which life expresses itself unconditionally in the moment and more fullness and joy each day.

Speaker 3: 30:11

In that book, the Art of Uncertainty, I refer to the idea that we're all mystics, some of us are optimistics and some of us are pessimistics. We have to realize that we're at choice as to whether we're going to look up and see what's possible and then develop the faith or something to get us there, something within us to move us to that place, rather than looking down and saying, oh my God, this is horrible, I'm going to fall, this is not a good place to be, and then we react to it. So uncertainty is laying itself out in front of us all the time and we get to again perspective and perception. How are we going to see it? How are we going to respond to it?

Speaker 1: 30:47

Absolutely absolutely I. How are we going to see it? How are we going to respond to it? Absolutely, absolutely. I'm sure, through your course of your life, dennis, that while you've been mentoring others, that you've had a mentor or two in your life that maybe had some profound change for you, and so what was been the best piece of advice you've been given, and how is it still serving you today? It's a good question.

Speaker 3: 31:05

I think so many people are caught up in their own stuff they don't realize how valuable they are, how important. My message to everybody I work with is that you matter, you matter. You wouldn't be here if you didn't matter. But what's more important is what you do with who you are. That matters. Who you are matters, but what you do with who you are is putting the rubber to the road, as it were, realizing that you're here to do something to make sure. There's a litmus test that I use when I'm talking to people about whether, at the end of their lives, whether they know that their life has been a success or not You're going to be asked two questions when you move on to what's next. The first question is did you learn to love? Well, the second question is the world a better place today than it was yesterday because you were here? If you can answer yes to both of those, your life has been on purpose. Love it.

Speaker 1: 31:51

Wow, Wow. What a great way to really wrap up our conversation today. We can go on talk about some of your other books and probably have you on to do just that.

Speaker 3: 32:00

I'd love to do that. By the way, if people go to my website dennismerrittjonescom, there's study guides available for all my books that you can download free as well. If you go to my press room, there's also a plethora of eBooks and other things you can download free. That articles and things like that would be supplementally helpful to you.

Speaker 1: 32:21

Absolutely, and so we're going to make sure all of that information is in today's show notes. I just want to say, dennis, thank you so much for having us, for being on the show and allowing us into your time and really helping us understand what it means to live a life of purpose on purpose, and so, other than your website, is there any way else we can get ahold of you?

Speaker 3: 32:41

Social media Facebook, linkedin, blah, blah blah. My website's probably the best point of contact. By the way, alan, I honor you for what you're doing. You're making a difference in the world and that's a powerful thing. We don't always see the difference you make in people's worlds, but we realize that we're initiating a ripple effect and that's what matters, that we're touching other people. You're touching people 20 years down the road you don't even have an idea of today because of the your work you're doing. That's to be honored I really appreciate that.

Speaker 1: 33:10

I'm going to make sure, wherever you are on social media, as well as your, your website and links to your most latest book here, when fear speaks listen so that folks can get an opportunity to get out and reach it, reach out to you, participate in your programs and get involved with your work. Thank you so much, dennis. I really enjoyed having you on the show. Good work thanks, dennis.

Speaker 2: 33:35

I really enjoyed having you on the show. Good work Thanks. Thank you for listening to the Revolutionary man podcast. Are you ready to own your destiny, to become more the man you are destined to be? Join the brotherhood that is the awakened man at theawakenedmannet and start forging a new destiny today.