Turn Your Challenges Into Purposeful Living: Inspiring Insights with Randy Adkins Jr

After experiencing the heart-wrenching loss of his younger brother, our guest, Randy Adkins Jr., found himself on a transformative journey that reshaped his life's purpose. This episode isn't merely about overcoming adversity; it’s about embracing the potential within and aligning ourselves with what truly matters. Randy shares how he turned a personal tragedy into a mission to inspire and uplift others, serving as a powerful reminder that hope and purpose can light the path through life's darkest moments. His journey inspires us to pursue a life filled with joy, peace, and fulfillment, even when faced with life's inevitable challenges.

Randy's impactful work in empowering men to embrace their true potential is a testament to the significance of authentic connections and meaningful dialogue. As we explore ways to support one another, from professional help to men's work groups, the episode underscores the value of service, grace, and handling life's transitions with intention. Randy's call to action encourages listeners to take control of their destiny, championing a life of intentional service to others while maintaining self-care. Through his insights, we learn to navigate life's transitions gracefully, celebrating everyday victories and fostering growth with a spirit of compassion and understanding.

Key moments in this episode:
05:07 The Impact of Purpose

12:08 Aligning with Your True Purpose

21:08 Overcoming Obstacles to Purpose

24:23 The Challenge of Deep Conversations Among Men

27:53 Living Authentically Through Service

28:25 The Four Areas of Service

44:27 Becoming a Thermostat in Life

How to reach Randy:
Website: https://www.randyadkinsjr.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/randyadkinsjrspeaker/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/randyadkinsjr/

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@produceonpurpose

X: https://twitter.com/randyadkinsjr

📖:

Rumi.ai
All-in-one meeting tool with real-time transcription & searchable Meeting Memory™

Chapters

• 0:00 Living a Purposeful Life
• 8:19 [Ad] Rumi.ai
• 9:08 (Cont.) Living a Purposeful Life
• 16:10 Finding Purpose and Overcoming Obstacles
• 25:22 Finding Support and Living Authentically
• 32:23 Embracing Service and Grace in Life
• 37:05 Navigating Life Transitions With Grace
• 41:57 Choosing Joy and Fulfillment in Life
• 47:53 Empowering Men to Own Their Destiny

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

You know what does it mean to be a man that produces on purpose? You know, some would say it's living intentionally, and I suggest all of us live intentionally. Just look around ourselves, do you like what you see? You know, living intentionally is only half of the answer towards living a fulfilling life. The other half is living a life of purpose on purpose. So what does that look like, and how do we even know what our purpose is? Well, that's what we're going to dive into in today's episode. So I want you to stick around, because you're going to have an amazing conversation.

Speaker 1: 0:36

Now, before we get into today's episode, let's come to grips about one other thing, in that, inevitably, there will come a time in our lives when we will hit a wall. You know whether it's a marriage that's all not working, or a career or business that's stagnated, or maybe your personal life is just flatlined. So if you're dealing with any of these, or a combination of them, and you're finally fed up with where your life is at, then allow me to help you get clear on what needs to be done, how to do that, and so you can get on to living the life you were meant to live. Just look in today's show notes and book a clarity call today and let's get started on getting your life back on track With that. Let's get on with today's episode.

Speaker 2: 1:18

The average man today is sleepwalking through life, many never reaching their true potential, let alone ever crossing the finish line to living a purpose through life. Many never reaching their true potential, let alone ever crossing the finish line to living a purposeful life. Yet the hunger still exists, albeit buried amidst his cluttered mind, misguided beliefs and values that no longer serve him. It's time to align yourself for greatness. It's time to become a revolutionary man. Stay strong, my brother.

Speaker 1: 1:47

Welcome everyone to the Revolutionary man Podcast. I'm the founder of the Awakened man Movement and your host, alan DeMonsoul. As you listen to today's episode, I'd like you to reflect a bit on your journey. Are you living a life that aligns with your true purpose, or are you still searching for that sense of fulfillment amidst the chaos? I'd like you to consider the challenges that you faced. How have hope and purpose played a role in helping you rise above adversity, and what steps can you take today to cultivate a deeper sense of meaning in your life? And you know, in today's episode of the Revolutionary man podcast, we're going to dive into this conversation because we want to guide you through the seasons of transition and a journey towards intentional living. And our guest today is dedicated his life to helping individuals do just that and experience their real self, and so we're going to offer some practical insights and some timeless wisdom to help you eliminate your path toward joy, peace and fulfillment.

Speaker 1: 2:52

So allow me to introduce my guest, randy Adkins Jr, a Lowcountry native of South Carolina who creatively weaves his experience as a corporate consultant, ordained minister and a community leader. He's a corporate consultant, ordained minister and a community leader. He's a distinguished toastmaster and has put all this into the tapestry of inspiring others to integrate spiritual growth principles into everyday life, and so Randy's mission is to inspire individuals to be leaders, change agents and go-getters. Book Produce on Purpose, where he teaches us how to experience life full of joy, peace and fulfillment, and the fruitfulness because God calls every one of us to be producers. And so welcome to the show today, randy. How are things, my friend?

Speaker 3: 3:36

Hey, alan, it is fantastic. Thank you for having me on the show. I'm excited about what we're going to discuss.

Speaker 1: 3:43

Yeah, I am as well. I was really grateful for your reaching out and you know, here at the Revolutionary man podcast we always ask our guests a little bit about their hero's journey, just so we can get folks a sense of what it is that has transformed you into the man you are today. So tell us about that time in your life when you knew things had to change, and how did that shape you into the man you are today.

Speaker 3: 4:04

life when you knew things had to change, and how did that shape you into the man you are today? I'll jump to a time and I talk about this in my book as well when I was really distraught, having a difficulty. My 19-year-old brother was in a fatal car accident and I was trying to grapple with that and saying, hey, is he going to walk through the door tomorrow? I can't understand why this is happening. He's so young, he's my younger brother. I watched him grow up, I helped him and throughout that time I was just in shambles. I did not know which way to turn in my life and for months I was trying to figure it out, trying to just work and do different things, but it was emotionally very difficult during that time.

Speaker 3: 4:50

It was around about six months later, it was around Christmas time. My mother and family, we were all together, but my mother had brought a letter that she had found on her computer upstairs and she said she had never seen it before, but it was from my brother. He had obviously written it prior to him being in that accident and it was about me and she read it and I have that letter today and that letter talks about me and it talked about how proud he was of me and that I had made an impression on him by having conversations with him and what I had been doing. When I was having those conversations, I didn't think I was making any impression. In fact, I was wondering whether or not what I was saying was going in one ear and out the other.

Speaker 3: 5:41

However, from that experience, I found that I was going to be able to share a message with this world, no matter what it was, that, if I would just take the time, share the message, I never know who it's going to touch, who is going to change, and so I have been on a mission since then to make sure that that's part of my impact. Part of my gifting is to teach, share, speak in any type of format, the good news of life and that we can still have joy, and we can find it. In many of these cases, you can either get further away from what you have believed in or you can get closer to it, and I ended up going in a place that was closer to saying, hey, I'm going to have joy, I'm going to believe in having a joyful life, and so out of that experience, I've learned to write books and share and speak and be one that's a leader in all that I do.

Speaker 1: 6:44

I just love that story. Let me ask you is that brother older or younger?

Speaker 3: 6:49

He was a younger brother. Yeah, yeah, for sure. That was probably now. What was it? That was 2005. So it's been a long time now, but it is a memory and I've always utilized that since then to share.

Speaker 1: 7:06

Yeah, I think we don't. I'm listening to tell your story and I think it's pretty common that we don't realize the impact we make on folks right, and you know, we live our lives day to day and we don't recognize the profound impact that we have. And how often do we are we acknowledged for and recognized so so grateful to hear that that you had that, because, you know, had that letter not shown up, you know your purpose may not have been as discovered as easily.

Speaker 3: 7:36

Yeah, and I'm grateful that my mom brought that read that to me. It really did help me to say you know what? I am going to make an impact in this world and consistently share information. Even if it doesn't look externally like it's touching anyone, I know it is. It's touching someone in some way, some shape and form. It may not ever come back to me in feedback, but it is doing something.

Speaker 1: 8:02

Yes, absolutely, absolutely. So I want to dive right into your book here Produce on Purpose Experience, life being the Real. You and you wrote this obviously for some purpose, and so what are you hoping that readers are going to gain from reading it?

Speaker 3: 9:00

Yeah, produce on Purpose was born out of the pandemic. My wife helped me to push me and said you always wanted to write a book, and it was September of 2020 when I started to write this book, and the idea is that we all need to be able to become producers in our lives. I start the book off by talking about are you ready to be a producer? And that many of us are acting in this world. We're good actors and actresses and it's just like what we look at on the television or on the big movie screen. We can see them on the billboards. The actors and actresses actually are in front of everybody. It's what's being shown to the world.

Speaker 3: 9:45

And I also thought about the Greeks. When the Greeks would act, they would put masks on. So if you look on my book, you will see a mask in there and you will see cracks in the mask and out of the mask you see actually some leaves coming up. That means that we can actually break down these masks and the actors and actresses that we are meaning that we show up, sometimes in different places, based on what we believe others want to see or how we want to entertain them in that moment or time, and if you are working on a movie called your life and you're acting, and acting is great, but acting is always on somebody else's script, and the question then becomes well, maybe you want to be the director, and the director also has freedoms as well. They can say, hey, I want this shot here. Actor, actress, I want you to have this type of emotion, I want you to feel this way.

Speaker 3: 10:40

But even the director works for someone, and it's the producers. The producers are the ones that bring everything together. They bring together all of those directors, the actors, the resources, the cameramen, the money, the writing, have the vision and they bring all the resources together. How better would that be?

Speaker 3: 11:07

For each of us to be the producers of our own lives and that, if we would bring everyone on with us to this vision that we call our lives and our movie, that we have many little mini series of those movies happening as our seasons of life transition, then we can do more in this world and actually have a more joyful experience, because now we are being the creators that we were always born to be, and we'll be doing that in a manner which we were actually put here to do, not just working on someone else's script, but now you're the one that's bringing the script together and bringing all of those that are with you along with you, because we can't do this alone. But producers work with everyone else to make that movie come out and be distributed to a wider place in a wider world. So I would, I would want people to bring that and take that away that you want. You should be a producer. Excellent, that's a great.

Speaker 1: 12:05

I like. I really like the bring that and take that away, that you should be a producer Excellent. I really like the framework that you're putting on that about the movie of our lives and some of the notes I was making here. You asked the question are you ready to be a producer? And how many times in our lives are we more like NPCs and we're not actively involved in our life? Like we're active, but what role, what character, what position are we actually playing? And then when you evolved it from even greater than that and being the producer that you know, the to orchestrate your life. And so when you talk about being a producer, what does that? What would that look and feel like for somebody to be a producer in their life? What would be that different than an NPC?

Speaker 3: 12:49

Yeah, I love that you brought in the gaming into this. It's very cool to think about is that you know NPCs. They're just there to provide extra character. You know characters for around all, everything that's there. But as the producer of your life, what happens is you wake up in the morning and, with intention, you say this is the type of life that I am going to live, and you begin by number one. I really say you should connect with what you were actually created for, and I know this is interesting because everyone talks about purpose and how you should find it. And it's interesting because your purpose and who you are and your gifting that you have is really something that's already there, innately with you. If you just take a second and say, what's the thing that I do, that is so easy that I don't have to put any effort into it. It's just what I do.

Speaker 3: 13:49

Well, when you begin to understand that and I talk about in the book two places to think about purpose. Number one is a general purpose and then number two is a specific purpose. The general purpose is that you should be here to please your creator. Purpose is that you should be here to please your creator. And when I talk about the creator. For myself, I talk about God. You may call your creator something else. For example, when I talk about God, god is described as love. Then that means that all that I do for my general purpose, I'm expressing love in my relationships, expressing love in how I interact, impact this world. And then the second purpose is your specific purpose, which is your gifting.

Speaker 3: 14:38

Everyone was uniquely and created in a way and molded in a way that is unique to them, and you have gifting that is easy for you, that people have probably told you said you do that very easily and you might not.

Speaker 3: 14:47

Maybe you know it, maybe you don't, but it's something that keeps coming up in your life.

Speaker 3: 14:52

Those specific purposes and sometimes I have to add to it because it's not just one, it's probably multiple things that you're able to do in your life is when you can know what that is, then you can tap into that thing that is easy to you, and then, as a producer, you then know what you need to surround yourself with and who you need to surround yourself with.

Speaker 3: 15:14

If you're not gifted in an area, you can learn and get skills for something. However, it's a whole lot easier to just let other people know what the vision is and bring them on with their skill sets and their expertise to help you with your purpose and your impact in this world. So, as a producer, you get to wake up and you get to, with intention, provide that purpose, begin to execute on that purpose and share a vision that says, hey, sharing that vision and communicating that is one of the most important things to get everyone on board to understand that those dreams, those visions that you have, they can become a reality in this world as you're producing and distributing your life as a movie.

Speaker 1: 16:02

I really appreciate this conversation today that we're having, randy, because in our work we talk a lot about purpose.

Speaker 1: 16:08

It's actually the first thing that I have guys do is really craft a mission statement for themselves to get themselves in alignment so that their values are aligned.

Speaker 1: 16:19

We can ferret out any limiting beliefs that are causing that. But in that whole exercise we also look and discover what are the things that they're really good at and sometimes they get confused between because you talked about you know that specific purpose is that thing that you know that just comes easy to you and you do really well, and that is a part of it for us, for sure. And then but then it's to it said really, look at, well, you may do something really well, but maybe at a stage in your life you just don't want to do that. What part of this thing that comes easy to you that brings you joy? And that's where I like how, that connection that you have also to the general purpose, because that that is god spirit, whatever. Whatever you want to refer to that working through us, and that's what I really liked about your work is that you're bringing these two things together and you know you talk about, you know, obeying God's vision for our life, and so I thought maybe we could expand on that concept as well.

Speaker 3: 17:18

Yeah, it's interesting because when we bring that together and I also talk about in the book how we can describe ourselves as a tripart being where we have a body, we have a soul and we have a spirit, and the interesting part is that the body is specifically for us to interact in this 3D world and to have our five senses to help with that. The soul is where our mind, our will and our emotions are, and a lot of the decisions and a lot of the things that we are filtering, this experience that we're having comes through that soul. But innately, in every single one of us there's a spirit and this is that divine design that everyone has. That has been part of them and many times we have missed out on really connecting to that and really finding that vision that we were really born for. I love giving the example that I can go walk in my kitchen right now and when I go into the kitchen I have a dishwasher and I'm I have a ham that I want to cook and if I put the ham in the dishwasher, it's just not going to cook that ham for me, because that was not what that dishwasher was designed for. That dishwasher was designed to actually wash dishes and it would be better for me to take the ham and put it in the oven. And if I put it in the oven, that's what the oven was designed for, but the oven's not designed for dishes. It would probably break or do something to all of my dishes. When we think about our lives, we sometimes find ourselves being a dishwasher trying to cook a ham, and it doesn't match and it doesn't work, when we are not in alignment with what we were designed to do.

Speaker 3: 19:03

So you are trying to do things with either your intellect and things that you may have somebody told you you were supposed to do, or how you were supposed to grow up, or you're interacting in this world because of social norms and I put that in quotes because some things are spoken and unspoken and you're showing up in those ways.

Speaker 3: 19:22

But they are because you were influenced by something in your life to say that that was what you were good at.

Speaker 3: 19:29

But in the end, if you would take some time and go back to what were you really designed for and all of us have those specific design characteristics in us then your vision will start to become clearer.

Speaker 3: 19:45

I talk about ways to do that, whether it's prayer, meditation, journaling to kind of help techniques to do this, because it's something that we got to begin to work within ourselves times. What we all are doing is looking at the outside and then using that as a measure to determine how we show up and determine our emotions and how we feel, and that's an outside in way of doing things. But my challenge to everyone is to begin to work from the inside out. That means then my spirit then tells my soul, then my body, what to do, and then I am now working from a place that I am now having the vision that is going into my thoughts, that causes actions, that causes new behaviors. That's coming in from the inside and when we do that, it changes things and you can have a vision that is then coming from your designer or your creator.

Speaker 1: 20:48

And that's just so powerful, and it truly is an inside out journey, an inside job for us to manage and become more aware of, becoming more and more needed and that we have been driven, or we allow ourselves to be driven, by societal pressures and and you know, as grand consciousness of seeing what's going on in the in the world today and then making decisions based on that. Not saying that we shouldn't be using using some of that to make decisions. What I'm suggesting is is it coming from the right place? And so what? That's what I really appreciate your message is you're really asking us to do a little bit of navel gazing and really understand our purpose and meaning for being here. So you know, if we're struggling to find that, you know, what are you seeing in your work, maybe even in your own life, what are some obstacles that you've had to overcome or others are facing, trying to find their true purpose?

Speaker 3: 21:50

Talk about two major obstacles that we run into when we have a vision or we have a purpose in our lives, and the first is probably pretty evident it's you and me ourselves. We are the first thing that's an obstacle for the vision. And why do I say that? Because a lot of times we are saying me am I supposed to do that, or I'm not skilled enough to do that, I can't do that, or I am not ready to do that, or you know, whatever the particular items that you believe currently those are the blockages that have stopped you from moving forward with about this, in clarity, is, it can be other people.

Speaker 3: 22:49

We sometimes have to look around and say who do we have around us? A lot of times, the reason you haven't gone very far is because you have surrounded yourself with people who aren't going anywhere. They are not really support for you. And when I talk about support, when we, as men, need support, we need support from people that are not going to judge us, that are going to listen to what we're talking about, when we have a vision or something that we're trying to do. And what's interesting is, when you have a vision that's not fully baked out, you got to have people around you that will just challenge you and ask you questions that will help you clarify what that vision is going to be, but they're not judging you, they're not going to say, oh, you shouldn't do that, or I tried that years ago.

Speaker 3: 23:37

Well, I remember that many people are projecting onto you their lives, not what you should be doing, and we need enough support around us to encourage us to continue on. So those are two major obstacles that we have to begin to overcome, and the way to overcome yourself is again working with yourself and saying you know what I do believe this is what I'm supposed to be doing, who I'm supposed to be impacting and getting that. And then I encourage you to get one or two. It I'm supposed to be doing, who I'm supposed to be impacting and getting that, and then I encourage you to get one or two. It doesn't have to be a whole lot of people One or two people that will listen to you without judging you, without saying that your vision is. That's just crazy, that's out there. Be like well, but this is what has been given to me. I'm trying to figure it out, let me work through this, and that will help you make it to where you can then move forward.

Speaker 1: 24:32

What a great framework there as well. Like talking about you know, I found I discovered who the enemy was, and it was me. And a perfect place to start is how often do we sell self sabotage and sabotage our? To start is how often do we sell self-sabotage and sabotage our, our goals, our dreams, anything that we were working towards and and then recognizing yes, I, you know, I think right away of you know the Jim Rohn quote of become the average of the five people we hang around with the most and do we? Are they uplifting people? But you're talking about something even deeper than that. You're talking about having that, that group, that small, really, uh close group that can support you, challenge you and give you to help you get to that next level. And I wonder for men, how, how difficult that is for us to to find that, to get past the, the superficial conversations of sports and work and anything else and to really get into talking about this deep stuff. And what are you finding in your work? Is that similar?

Speaker 3: 25:33

Yeah, it's very difficult. It's one of those things I encourage anyone that wants to start on the path is number one say that you want to do that and I do believe that initially, what we are wanting in this world, you will start to see it. It's the same syndrome of if I want a red car and I went to and to go get it, I just start seeing all these red cars everywhere. It's the same thing. If you want to have that real support, I say first of all, want it. And if you want it, believe that you are going to begin to see that around you and participate, volunteer or provide some services. Sometimes you will find that through volunteering around your community or helping out in particular places, you will find and connect with other men that may have similar values that you have and can be there to really help and listen, not be there to judge.

Speaker 3: 26:35

Because what I've found is that sometimes the difficulty is is that many of us are carrying around some of the trauma. So I will go here for a second, because for men it is difficult to distinguish between oh, you know I'm bringing traumas, but the reason I'm upset. I don't even know why I'm upset, I'm just mad and you're mad, but it was really related to other things. So I encourage. Number one is if you can get some professional help.

Speaker 3: 27:02

In many cases sometimes you need a third party whether it's a therapist, a pastor, a womb ever to listen and for you to work through any of the past things that you have. But that is one portion of it. But if you would begin with that intention of saying I want to have that small group of people that can be around me, that will support me, that won't judge me, that will listen to what's going on and understand and be my cheerleader through the vision Sometimes it's just difficult to find because you might be doing something that is really big but no one believes and you could feel alone and it's very difficult to move forward when you don't have the adequate support to do that yeah, absolutely makes complete sense.

Speaker 1: 27:50

it's probably another reason why you may need to reach out to and find other groups that can help support, and I think that's why the popularity of men's work is becoming so, you know, even more so today than than a few years ago, because we we need to find that place. We need to find that place, we need to find that opportunity for us to be able to share and grow as men, and so we've started to build this foundation. We're getting a sense and figuring out what the obstacles are towards our true and living, our true purpose, and now, really, as we start to do that, we're living more authentically. Really, as we start to do that, we're living more authentically. And so what else can we do to continue to live authentically, so that we can continue to really grow and expand as men?

Speaker 3: 28:34

I. I talk about uh, an area I believe that would be great for this group here is service. I brought it up earlier and I believe that when we begin to understand service in a greater way, something else rises up in every one of us that we are able to go out, and who we are and what we become out of that service will really expand in many areas. In the book I talk about service in four areas, and I really encourage everyone to think about initially thinking of your service in this way. And the first thing that I talk about is serve up. And what do I mean by serve up? Serving up means that I'm serving to really please that creator. I'm going to serve in that manner. I'm going to take time, I'm going to actually put time in my day, whether it's one minute to five minutes, to 30 to an hour, whatever it is to think about that serving up component so that you can really understand what that means from a service perspective. The second area I want to talk about in service is that you should serve in. And what am I talking about there? That means that I need to make sure I get myself right, and here's some things that are important when I talk about making sure we are right. We should have a peace that's within us, and sometimes the things that don't allow peace are sometimes the us not allowing boundaries to be in our lives. So and I don't want to talk about the full boundary thing, but think about having boundaries that make sure that you protect your peace in your life, that you're not putting yourself in situations that cause you to be triggered, that cause you to be in space where you have additional traumas that come up, things that sometimes put you in a bad place or a bad situation. You want to make sure you're serving yourself within in that area. You want to make sure you're serving yourself within in that area.

Speaker 3: 30:46

The other place I have found that has provided you some profound leaps and jumps for serving in is it's letting go or forgiveness. So when you begin to really take a look at all of the everything we do in this world, we're related to something or attached to something. But when you are in a space that you learn to let go of things whether it's hurts, whether it's actually sometimes your thinking or patterns that you may have you will begin to serve yourself from within so that now you can move to the next level of service, because I don't want you to jump to these other levels of service before you learn how to serve up and then serve in Now. I want you to be able to now serve out. If you're able to serve out, then that means then I can now serve to help others. Sometimes we all jump to serving to help others first, but we're not good on the inside and it's going to make you frustrated, it's sometimes going to make you feel like you're obligated and it's not a good situation for everybody involved. So my encouragement, of course, is you don't have to do it in this linear progression, but at least be working on serving in so that you can serve out. And the more, the better version you are of yourself, the better you're going to serve out to those that are around you and you're going to be that great person that everyone sees. And they will see that light within you every single day.

Speaker 3: 32:15

And the last area is to serve forward. When we serve forward, that means we remember that what we do right now does affect the next generation. What we do right now does affect those that are around us. We will take the time to mentor somebody. We will take the time to share what we've learned in this life to someone else and it doesn't have to be someone else younger only, but it can be anyone but you are committed to serving forward so that this world will be a better place when you are no longer around, but you are serving. And so when I think of service, I think of those areas, and I think that when we, as men, capture that in our lives, then we become better all around. We become better to our families, we can become better at our work, we can become better at all of our relationships and everything that we have in this world, and we can live a much happier, joyful and peaceful life when we start to put those things in place.

Speaker 1: 33:17

What I really appreciate about your framework here, Randy, is that and I'm a big believer in being of service and you know it's really part of my DNA and that's really what I live to do is to be in service of others.

Speaker 1: 33:32

But you've also reminded me and others that be of service for myself, yes, and to do that work for myself as well, Because, as you know, as I've been doing more and more men's work and, of course, when you start to dive into different things like this, you start to unpack some more and more of your own challenges.

Speaker 1: 33:51

And I recognize quite quickly just how much that I was relying on this service to others than I was doing it maybe more often than I'd care to admit for validation validation so it wasn't coming from a place of peace and love and in more of a spiritual place, but more of an external. You know needing something, and so when I started to recognize this void was happening, it really shook me to my core to figure out okay, so why do I want to do this? And I actually stepped away from doing lots of volunteering because I just felt I was doing it for the wrong reasons, and I've just recently started to go back to appreciate that I have an ability to go and help others and doing it for the sake of doing it and putting smiles on faces versus looking for that validation. So I really appreciate that you've brought that forward and helped me get even a bit more clarity on my purpose. So thank you so much for that.

Speaker 3: 34:52

Yeah, and it's interesting because we are all on this journey and I encourage every man to really give himself grace, because sometimes the world doesn't give us that, we're not giving that, and so if we don't give it to ourselves, then, man, it's hard. So I encourage everyone to give yourself grace, because we are all learning and if we go down this path and we're able to share with each other man, it does help us in this world, because it could be, and can be, very tough if we don't provide that grace not only to ourselves, but to everyone around us.

Speaker 1: 35:27

Yeah, absolutely. You know, one of the things I talked about in the introduction here is really and I know you talk a lot about in your work as well is this idea of seasons of transition, and I think that what I think about when I hear that term is those times in our life when we've really struggled and we're going through one phase to another. Maybe it's a separation, it's a job loss, it's something, but there's a season that's changing. Maybe you're a new father or it's a new relationship, but do we look back on them and do anything with it? And so I know you like to connect, looking for some value within that. So let's talk a little bit about how we can find value in these seasons of transition in our lives.

Speaker 3: 36:10

Yeah, seasons of transition are interesting as, like I was telling my story earlier about, with the fatal car accident of my brother and their grief, that was there. It was a. It was a defining moment in my life was a defining moment in my life. One of the things that we find that is that we have all of these seasons. Or, if we want to relate it back to the movies, you are creating a movie, but it's a miniseries. We go on Netflix now or go on everything's a series. Well, that's how our life really is. It's a season of what's changing and what's happening and what's going on and at every moment, even though your purposes are often the same, they may be expressed differently in these different seasons that you end up having. And sometimes, you know, a change in a job can really rock our world, but it's just because we've become comfortable with that change in our job. But on the other side of that, there's something better for us to do, or something that we have always needed to be to everyone around us that we weren't able to be because of that job, or a loss of a loved one. When we have that happen to us, it's one of those things where I encourage everyone to really then begin to be aware of number one, of course, our emotions. That are there, but those emotions are always driven by something and we have to work through those. And again, I will seek your professionals in these seasons of transition, as well as having a support around you, whether it's family, friends or, you know, a group that is truly there that you can talk these things out, to do it on my own. And here's what I found it was in the pandemic that I found that I was coping with changes and transitions by working more. And when the pandemic hit, I found that I couldn't just go to the next thing. I was actually having to sit with myself and I was like whoa, I don't like this, this doesn't feel good, there's something going on and I had to grapple with. Wait a minute, this is me. This is not me because I need to do something. It's because I haven't been able to work through a lot of the things that I needed to. And so my encouragement in these times of transition.

Speaker 3: 38:42

And I also make an analogy in the book of midnight, and midnight is an interesting time of the day because it is no longer night and it's not quite day yet it's that in-between time and sometimes we're in that space in our lives where it's you're not fully out of the dark and you're not fully into that light yet and you are grappling with many things in your life prayer, meditation and conversations with those that you have the support around and let yourself be who you need to be. Take the time to go through those particular emotions, particular feelings, whatever it is at the time and it could be good things that happen in our lives. Like you say, you could be a brand new baby, or it could be I just got a new house and I don't know how in the world I'm going to take care of this in the car or whatever it is in your life, the family things. It could be whatever it is. But the encouragement is that you take the time, be intentional about it and say you know what. I'm going to work through this and we're going to move forward in some way, shape or form, and I can't tell you how long it will take for any of your situations, but you stand firm and be diligent and take the small wins. And I want everyone to understand this is that there will be small wins every single day. Take the small wins.

Speaker 3: 40:12

I once described it this way. I said there are going to be days sometimes when we don't want to get out of bed. But I encourage you to just say you know what, today I'm going to get out of the bed and I'm going to brush my teeth, that's it. You don't have to do anything else. But you take the small win and then the next day say today I'm going to get out of the bed, I'm going to brush my teeth and I'm going to get a cup of coffee, whatever. Slowly do it that way so that you are able to then kind of move forward intentionally and it may be a push for you. But just do it one step at a time and before you know it you'll be doing big things.

Speaker 1: 40:49

Yeah, that's great, that's great. Advice is to really chunk things down as small as possible to get those wins. And I was listening to you say that and I remember years ago, like when I was going through my season of transition, and listening to Jack Canfield's set of tapes from Nightingale Conan I think they're still around. You know self-esteem and peak performance, and he just talked about you know making a list of. You know all of your accomplishments. Hey, I passed grade one. You know kindergarten, grade one, grade two, and when I first heard it I thought what's that? But really, you know, we discount things in life, we discount the simplest things, and that's what you're really saying is just to have some grace. You talked about that earlier, about us having a little bit of grace for ourselves and in life and really celebrating the wins, no matter how big or small they are. And so how has becoming an ordained minister shaped your psychology and your life and how you help individuals?

Speaker 3: 41:49

It's one of the catalysts of why I wanted to write the book is because people were coming to me and saying, you know, I just don't like waking up in the morning and I'm like that's not how we were designed.

Speaker 3: 42:02

I don't believe we were designed to just utterly not like life.

Speaker 3: 42:07

So there's got to be a way, regardless of what's happening externally to us, that maybe our perceptions and the way that we see life that we can still have joy, peace and fulfillment in everything that we do.

Speaker 3: 42:19

And I knew that from reading and studying and listening to multiple texts whether it's just the Bible or other texts that are out there that God and the Creator really want us to be able to have a joyful life and a peaceful life. And if that's not happening, there's got to be a way to do that. And that's why I wrote the book to be able to give a path for us to be able to get to that space in our lives. And so, as an ordained minister being able to share the good news and being able to get that feedback from others and being able to get that feedback from others, I have learned that you have to be able to take that on and understand that life is meant for us to really have joy, have peace and fulfillment, and that we can all begin down that path anytime we want. You can start right now to start going down that path to make sure that you have more of that in your life, regardless of your external situations in this world.

Speaker 1: 43:21

Oh, that's beautiful Love that, randy. Over the course of your life I'm sure you've had a mentor or two and people that have had a profound impact in your life, but what would you say? It was the best piece of advice you've been given, and how is it still serving you today?

Speaker 3: 43:36

One of the best pieces of advice to me was given that you are going to make mistakes, but the biggest thing to get out of making mistakes is what was the lesson that you learned out of the mistake? Because the mistake is something that you're going to always have happen to you, but that is not going to stop you from living. And that has helped me along the way, because I know that there's something to be learned out of everything that we do, and if we call it a mistake, you might see it as a mistake. It may just be a part of your journey, and how many of us have read different heroes, journeys where he, the person that is in that journey, thought they made a horrible mistake, but if they didn't do that, they would not be set up for the next thing that would happen in their lives, and so I encourage everyone to remember that as well and in their lives is that you know there are going to be mistakes that we make, but what is the lesson that we can learn from those mistakes?

Speaker 1: 44:46

Yeah, that's perfect. What a great way to you know, summarize our good chunk of our conversation. So now, that was what a piece of advice that you know it served you as a mentor. Turn the tables around and now, of everything that we spoke about today and maybe there was something we didn't get a chance to touch on what would be the takeaway you'd want our listeners to have?

Speaker 3: 45:08

I love to leave this great analogy to everyone and it helps when we are able to see it. I always think about the thermometer. The thermometer is very good at telling us what the temperature is outside, and the thermometer does very well with letting us know how hot or how cold things are. And in fact, a lot of times in our lives we find ourselves being thermometers. We can tell you how big the problem is, how bad the problem is, how horrible our lives are, how things are not going the right way, how things have gone this bad way before, and we're good at gauging that, and thermometers are really good at that.

Speaker 3: 45:47

But I'm encouraging everyone to become a thermostat. Why? Because I love thermostats, because they are able to change the temperature and you get to do that in your life. You get to be a thermometer in your life. That means that you get to change the temperature regardless of what the outside may look like or feel like or the problems that you may see. You're, you become the solution, you become the light. So when you walk into the room, you're the thermostat. You get to change the temperature. So it doesn't matter who's around you, it doesn't matter the people that are around you. You get to smile even if no one else is smiling. You get to share, even if no one else wants to hear. You are there so that you can help change the temperature in everyone's life. So be the thermostat, not the thermometer, and I encourage everyone to do that. Then you're going to be working from not the outside in, but you will then be working from the inside out.

Speaker 1: 46:44

Oh, brother, that was outstanding man. Thank you so much, randy, for spending time with us today and showing us that how we can be the producers of our life and really live intentionally in this, and then by doing that, we really live fulfilling lives. And so if men are interested in getting a hold of you participating in your work, what was the best way for them to do that?

Speaker 3: 47:05

RandyAdkinsJrcom is where you can find information about Produce On Purpose Experience Life being the Real you. We have ebook format, paperback audible for those who love to listen to audio and I love to do it in the gym. You can also connect to the podcast, which is produced on purpose, and you can also get video, sermons, interviews, anything about what I'm doing and provide me feedback. I love to have conversations about anything that anyone has good information about. All my social media is also at RandyAtkinsJrcom as well, so feel free to reach out to me and connect with me there. Thank you, Alan, for having me on. I really enjoyed our conversation.

Speaker 1: 47:50

Well, thank you so much, Randy. I'll make sure all of that information is in our show notes for today's episode so people can get a chance to get out and reach out to you because, uh, you're doing some profound work there, my friend, and we need more of us doing this work. So thank you so much for being on the show thank you, alan thank you for listening to the revolutionary man.

Speaker 2: 48:16

Are you ready to own your destiny, to become more the man you are destined to be? Join the brotherhood that is the Awakened man at theawakenedmannet and start forging a new destiny today.