The Real Difference Between INTENTIONAL Living And Leaving A LEGACY

This podcast challenges men to redefine their understanding of legacy, shifting from focusing on wealth to the values and impact we leave behind. Key insights include the importance of daily choices in shaping our legacy and the relational aspects that define a lasting imprint on others.

• Every man builds a legacy, whether by design or default 
• The myths surrounding wealth vs. impactful legacies 
• The essence of integrity and character in lasting memories 
• The ripple effect of small, daily decisions in legacy building 
• Overcoming barriers like fear and procrastination in legacy pursuit 
• Practical steps to start defining and building your legacy today 

Take action today toward building a legacy you’ll be proud of!

Key moments in this episode:

02:51 Defining Legacy Beyond Wealth 

04:00 Building Legacy Through Relationships

08:53 Daily Choices and Mentorship

10:53 Overcoming Barriers to Building a Legacy

18:42 Practical Steps to Build Your Legacy

21:17 Conclusion and Call to Action 

Chapters

• 0:04 Welcome to the Revolutionary Man Podcast
• 10:21 The Legacy Every Man Builds
• 51:01 Myths of Legacy and Practical Steps
• 6:01:16 The Power of Daily Choices and Habits
• 12:15:09 Overcoming Barriers to Building Legacy
• 20:51:38 Call to Action: Take Steps to Strengthen Your Legacy

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome everyone to the Revolutionary man Podcast. This is the show where we challenge men to redefine their success, lead with integrity and create a lasting impact in their lives and the lives of others. And so I'm your host, alan DeMonso, and today we're gonna talk about something that every man, whether he realizes it or not, is building every single day, and that's his legacy. You see, we all leave something behind, whether we plan for it or not. So the question isn't if you will leave a legacy. The question is will it be the one that you intended?

Speaker 1: 0:31

Too many men go through life focused only on the immediate chasing success, wealth and status, without ever considering what will remain when they're gone. But here's the truth Our legacy isn't just about what we achieve. It's about who we become and the impact we have on others. And so, in today's episode, we're going to break down the myths of legacy, identify the pillars of lasting impact and give you a practical steps to start building a legacy that truly outlives you. And so, if you've ever asked yourself, what will I be remembered for, this episode is going to be for you. No, but before we dive in, I just want you to take some action right now, and if you care about the legacy that you leave behind, hit that like button, subscribe and drop a comment telling me what legacy you hope to build, because the more men who engage with this conversation, the greater impact we can create together. So take a second hit like subscribe and let's get this conversation going.

Speaker 1: 1:31

With that let's get on with today's episode.

Speaker 2: 1:37

The average man today is sleepwalking through life, many never reaching their true potential, let alone ever crossing the finish line to living a purposeful life. Yet the hunger still exists, albeit buried amidst his cluttered mind, misguided beliefs and values that no longer serve him. It's time to align yourself for greatness. It's time to become a revolutionary man. Stay strong, my brother.

Speaker 1: 2:06

So let me ask you a couple of questions. If your life ended today, what would people say about you? Are you intentionally building your legacy or are you leading it to chance? And when you consider that, here's one more question for you what's one change you could make today that would strengthen the legacy you're leaving behind? You know, these aren't easy questions, but they're going to be necessary ones, and we're going to dig in today and really unpack this. And so we've established that every man leaves a legacy, whether it's by design or by default, whether it's by design or by default. And so now let's break down how to build a legacy that reflects the values, impact and influence that you truly want to leave behind.

Speaker 1: 2:51

So the first thing I want to talk about is how we define legacy, and what does that truly mean? Because legacy isn't always going to be about building wealth. It's about building impact that we leave behind, and so legacy for many of us, when I think about it initially, is, yes, it's to be about some wealth, something I can leave back to my kids, but many folks and many men think that when we focus on wealth, that that is all that we're here to do, but it's more about wisdom and character, values that we impart in others, more so than just the wealth you know. Financial wealth that can easily fade and many times it can be squandered, but legacy that's rooted in values and relationships that's going to last for generations. And so a great leader isn't going to be remembered for the size of his bank account, but for the principles that he's lived by and the lives that he's touched. So think about it as a father who teaches his children integrity and resilience. He's a much stronger legacy than one who simply leaves them with a bank account full of money. How about legacy in our relationships? You know, the stories of our loved ones tell us about who you are, and the lessons that they carried forward are a reflection of what our legacy is. And so ask yourself what are the most important lessons that I want my family, my friends, my community to learn from my life, you know? And then there's the legacy of contribution. You know. Think of a difference that you can make if we go beyond our immediate circle.

Speaker 1: 4:30

You know, our legacy can include everything from mentoring others, you know, contributing in our community, you know, or leaving a mark in your work with your work. Maybe you're an artist and you do other things. I know for me, volunteering and doing that at a local soup kitchen and homeless shelter is really important, to be able to give something back to my community. You know, some of the greatest legacies come back from giving back, as I just mentioned, and it is through mentorship and it is through service, and it is going to be about leaving a meaningful impact. And so what can you do greater than than what you're doing today? And so there's going to be some skills that maybe you need to develop some knowledge, and there's going to need to also have fine, have and find some time to invest so you can improve the lives of others as well as yourself. But listen, I'm not asking you to do all of this and not take care of yourself and your families. It's just the smallest contributions.

Speaker 1: 5:29

You know, thinking about more so than just mentoring your children, but mentoring others and supporting causes. And so what are the different ways that you can look that you can contribute in your life? You know there is an impact in our daily decisions that really helps build and define our legacy. See, our legacy isn't built in just a single moment. It's going to be moments built upon moments, and it's the sum of all of these and these daily choices that really ultimately define the kind of legacy that we leave behind. Legacy that we leave behind, and so consider the way that we treat people and how we handle our adversity, the causes that we support. All of these things, the things that we do, how we show up, are ways that are forming our legacy. And so think about it. If our children, or even our colleagues, watched us every day for a year, what lessons do you think they would learn from our actions year? What lessons do you think they would learn from our actions? What is the legacy do you think that they would have about you?

Speaker 1: 6:29

And I really love Stephen Covey's book, the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and he always says begin with the end in mind. And what he's really talking about is our legacy starts with defining the impact that we want to leave with others. So what are the building blocks, then, of legacy? We've talked a little bit about it, but it's really built on some core pillars that stand the test of time that we can truly build a lasting legacy. The first ones, I consider, would be integrity and our values. You see, living with integrity and aligning our actions with our principles is the foundation of a meaningful legacy. And so, if I think about for a moment, when our character is being tested, these are the opportunities for us to solidify the values that we hold dear, not just for ourselves, but in the eyes of those who will carry our legacy forward.

Speaker 1: 7:22

How about relationships as our cornerstone? We are a species of relationships, and so our interactions with others, whether that's with our families, our colleagues, our community or anyone, they really form a lasting impact of who and what our legacy is. And so small, consistent acts of kindness, support and presence leave a lasting impression on others. And so I want you to consider are you present with your loved ones? Do you feel valued and inspired after being around you? Or do they, I should say, are they feeling inspired and valued after being around you? You know, I think of men like Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King Jr had left lasting legacies, not because of their achievements, but more so because of the relationships they built and the communities that they uplifted.

Speaker 1: 8:17

So the word I'm really talking about here, I'm really talking about our legacy, of our character. You see, our integrity and honesty and values are going to define how people remember us. Success without character leads to forgotten legacies, and history remembers men of principle, not just men of power. So are you a man today that you hope your children and mentees will look up to for tomorrow? That's a heavy question and someone we need to truly consider. So what's our role on taking some action and how we can build legacy?

Speaker 1: 8:53

We've already mentioned a few things here, and really it's about daily choices, and our legacy is going to be shaped by the habits that we make and that we cultivate and the decisions that we make, whether those are big decisions or small decisions. And so ask yourself am I living today in a way that aligns with the legacy that I want to live? How about the power of mentorship? I've mentioned this over and over again in this episode. Passing down our knowledge and our wisdom is going is a direct way that we can impact not only our current generation, but the next generation to come. So think about the times when you were mentored and how you're carrying forward some of those things and how those can be passed on, because if it wasn't for their guidance, the lives and decision you'd meet you're making today would be vastly different and create.

Speaker 1: 9:57

Think about how, when we do this, in our character is really creating a ripple effect, aren't we? Because it isn't just about the immediate results that we're going to see in an action. When I work at the soup kitchen on a saturday or sunday morning, it isn't so much about that serving of those individuals at that moment, but it's the lasting impact, the ripple effect that allows an organization like that to continue to provide services for a community of the most needed here in our cities, and I'm sure exists in your cities as well. So think about the influence how just one act of kindness or one person can have. They can inspire others to come and do the same thing. And I think about Maya Angelou, and she said your legacy is every life you've ever touched, every interaction you have and every lesson that we teach contributes to our legacy.

Speaker 1: 10:53

So what stops us from building a legacy? You know, I think that's a really important question for us to consider, and I think there's some barriers that we need to overcome to ensure that we leave with an intentional legacy. You know, one of the things I used to believe a lot for a long time was that there was this fear of me really of trying to leave a legacy, was really about my insignificance, it's that belief that the actions that I do or I take really don't matter. But many people struggle with that idea, and it's their contributions might not be that meaningful in the grand scheme of things, but it's a self doubt that can prevent us from taking steps towards building a legacy, and so we've got to reframe, reshape our mindset about this. It isn't about changing the entire world. It's about leaving a positive impact in the lives that are those that are truly around us, and when we take care of those folks around us, those small acts of kindness, the consistency, care of those folks around us, those small acts of kindness, the consistency, doing it with integrity, then we're already building a foundation of legacy that resonates much further than we can ever imagine, and so I want you to focus back on that ripple effect. Right, it's the small decisions that create this ripple that allows us, allows things to grow and change over time, and so helping one person today means can be starting to help more and more down the road, because we truly don't understand or know the impact of helping that one individual.

Speaker 1: 12:23

You know, the other myth that we have to look at breaking is this idea. It's really around procrastination. Is that this someday syndrome you know. Many of us and I was one of those for sure would fall in the trap of thinking I'll start building my legacy when I'm older, when I'm more successful or when I have more time. Legacy isn't something that we rush or that we create at the last minute. It's going to be built over time, whether we like it or not, and so start with where you're at today. Building legacy means you need to make different choices today, so every interaction or a decision, regardless of what you're doing, is building that legacy. So start where you are today. Remember, the power comes in small steps. It's not the gigantic leap it gets you over the grand Canyon, it's the small steps across it that allow you to get to that other side.

Speaker 1: 13:24

And on the other piece on myth that we may struggle with about building legacies is it's just that we're lack some clarity about what our core values are and what vision that we have, and so when we have unclear priorities in our life, it's going to be hard to build legacy, because we don't know what we stand for and so we don't know what we want to leave behind, and so many people and I was one of those as well, it would drift through life, really without defining what my core values were, and when I did that, that meant that I felt, more often than not, disjointed and felt aimless. But if I took the moment, and if you take that moment, to reflect and define exactly what it is that you're willing to stand up for, and take an understanding of what your core values are, then you can start to formulate the decisions that you'll make on a daily basis, that allow you to make ones that will leave a legacy that you intend to leave, not the one that is just happening. And so you need to live with intention, because once that occurs, then the legacy that's happening is one that you'll be proud of. And we have to remember, just because we're working towards things and we may have some core value and we have our core values defined, there may be times where we're not in alignment with others and we might be criticized, and so we may have this fear of failure, because we don't want to be criticized for the things that we're doing. And so forget about the judgment, because many of us will hesitate with this idea of trying to leave a legacy, because we're going to worry that we're going to fail or that we're going to be criticized. But this is fear. It's just. All it's going to do is prevent you from doing anything.

Speaker 1: 14:59

And so, again, I suggest it's a reframe, a redistribution of our thoughts of how it is. What is it that we're trying to leave behind? Because failure, if you fail on something, it's not the end. It's the end if you choose it to be. Instead, it's just part of the process. What's a different way that you could approach something? And so look at these setbacks and look at the opportunity for you to learn and grow and change, so that you can adjust the legacy that you're trying to leave behind. And so I, you know, always like Simon Sinek and he's famous for talking about know your why. And so remember that legacy is really about impact, it's not about perfection. And so when you focus on your purpose and not the opinions of others, their opinions are going to hold a lot less water.

Speaker 1: 15:49

And so we talked a little bit about, you know, really having a lack of focus, and and that's because we become distracted, we don't know our core values, that we have to have to consider that eliminating the noise that's in our life and can really help us to get get much more clear, and so setting boundaries around things like our time and our attention help us to prioritize what's truly important to us, and then when we we're doing those things, we're being much more intentional. And so one of the things that I do on a regular basis is I schedule time for my family and for my spouse so that we can have time to connect, because those are important things to me. And so when you determine what are those core values, those core things in your life, then you can start to set time with that. You know, and I like what Viktor Frankl talked about in Man's Search of Meaning. He said when we are no longer able to change a situation, then we are challenged to change ourselves. And boy doesn't that resonate in today's environment that we need to focus on what we can do to change for ourselves, because building legacy often requires us to confront not only our fears but also look at where we're focusing our energy and embrace a growth in face of what may seem like insurmountable obstacles.

Speaker 1: 17:07

So let me tell you a little story about David. He's a successful business entrepreneur. He's in his 50s and he had built this thriving business admired by many, but at home his relationship with his children was restrained and his wife often felt like a second priority. So one day his youngest son asked Dad, why are you always on the phone when we're together, you know? And that single question made David stop and reflect on the legacy he was leaving or failing to build. And so David began to realize that, while his career was flourishing, his personal life was crumbling, and he started to ask himself some pretty hard questions what will my kids remember about me? Will they know me as a present father or just a busy businessman?

Speaker 1: 17:49

And so the thought of leaving behind a legacy of distance and disconnection quite honestly scared the crap out of David. He was pretty determined to change and he committed to making family his priority. And so he started scheduling a weekly, tech-free family dinners and attended his kids' soccer games and carved out time for meaningful conversations with his wife. Games and carved out time for meaningful conversations with his wife. These were just small actions, but they slowly began to rebuild trust and connection with his family. And so it was years later and David was finally at his retirement and his children gave speeches that left him in tears. They didn't talk about the financial success that they had, and he spoke about the lessons he had taught them, the time he invested in them and the values that he modeled. David created a legacy of love, presence and integrity that would outlive him.

Speaker 1: 18:42

And so what are some practical steps that we can take that I want to leave you with today so you can take in your life to start living and leaving a life with integrity and a legacy? And so you need to define your legacy vision. So write down what you want to be remembered for. You know what values, lessons, contributions do you want to leave behind. And then, once you've written that down, start living them. Align your actions with your core principles. Every decision that contributes to your legacy will come from these two pieces. And then you need to invest in the relationships. If we spend quality time with family and friends and our relationships are going to be probably the most enduring part of our legacy and a mentor and to teach, you know this goes beyond just our children, as I've talked about throughout this episode. It's about also mentoring and teaching family and neighbors and friends and other groups, and if you have an opportunity, I really encourage you to do this as a document. Keep a journal, gentlemen, whether that's a voice journal or a written one, handwritten, or you want to use an electronic document, keeping a journal about these different aspects of your life, maybe even just writing letters to loved ones. These become the treasured moments in the lives of many of the people that we come into contact with, and so I've mentioned a few different resources, places that really gave me some inspiration and coming together and putting together today's episode, and one of them is Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, stephen Covey and Legacy. What All Blacks Can Teach Us About the Business of Life and that's by James Kerr and the Obstacle is the Way, by Ryan Halliday.

Speaker 1: 20:35

Legacy isn't built in a moment. It's built in the small, consistent choices that you make every day. The question is are you building a legacy you want, or are you leaving it to chance? So your challenge today is to write down one action you can take right now to strengthen your legacy and go ahead and do it. So, if you're serious about building a legacy that lasts, the other action I want you to take is I want you to go to memberstheawakenedmannet. This is our membership site, and we have a free integrity challenge there for you to take. Take this challenge. It's an opportunity for you to build a roadmap for living with purpose and living with impact. It's the strongest men who don't wait. They decide, they lead with a legacy, so they get started now. I just want to say thank you so much for joining me on the Revolutionary man podcast. Remember legacy isn't just what we've left behind, it's how we live our lives every day, and so thank you very much for taking action and enjoying this episode.

Speaker 2: 21:38

Join the brotherhood that is the Awakened man at theawakendmannet and start forging a new destiny today.