Are You Managing Life or Mastering It? Discover the Difference with Mark Collins

In this episode of the Revolutionary Man Podcast, host Alain Dumonceaux joins Mark Collins, founder of Life Mastery, to explore how men can break free from default living and step into their true potential. Key points include identifying and overcoming imposter syndrome, the importance of living by design rather than by default, the role of faith in personal transformation, and practical strategies for mastering thoughts, words, and actions. Mark also shares his personal journey and insights on expanding one's capacity and envisioning a purpose-driven life.

 Key moments in this episode:

00:00 Introduction: Are You Ready for More?

02:43 Meet Mark Collins: Life Mastery Coach

06:28 Living by Design, Not by Default

08:34 The Power of Identity

15:45 Incorporating Faith into Life Mastery

21:21 Expanding Your Capacity

30:20 The Importance of Mentorship and Scripture

36:17 Conclusion: Mastering Your Life

How to reach Mark:

Website: http://freedom-for-life.net

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FreedForLife/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_freedomforlife_/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCw1A7tteCrpLj_d9ejzDWRg

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/mark-collins-freedom-for-life 

Chapters

• 0:00 Breaking Free from Invisible Chains
• 1:59 The Sleepwalking Modern Man
• 3:45 Mark's Pivotal Transformation Story
• 6:59 Living by Design vs. Default
• 8:53 Identity: The Foundation of Purpose
• 12:22 Mastering Your Thoughts
• 15:28 Faith as a Foundation
• 22:42 Expanding Your Capacity
• 27:01 Breaking Through "Good Enough"
• 30:35 Transformation: Becoming Who You Are
• 38:08 Final Challenge and Closing

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Let me ask you have you ever felt like you were made for more? But, despite your achievements, you're still weighed down by fear, insecurity or doubt, maybe even find yourself reacting to life rather than leading it, caught in this endless cycle of managing instead of mastering. But you know what? Deep down, you know that you're designed to do something far greater a life of purpose, of power and of fulfillment, but something keeps pulling you back to the old stories, your hidden lies that you've believed about yourself, and the fear of failing, not once but once again. So today we're going to dive into how to break free from the invisible chains and unleash the man that you were always meant to be.

Speaker 1: 0:48

So this is not going to be about just managing our existence. It's going to be about mastering our destinies, and it's going to start in this very moment. So if you've ever felt stuck or restless, like you're capable of doing much more in your current life than how it's reflecting, then I think this episode might just be for you. So do take a moment, hit like subscribe and share this conversation with someone you know who's ready to live by design and not by default, because it's your engagement that helps us reach more men who are out there, ready to rise into life that they were created for. And with that, let's get on with today's episode.

Speaker 2: 1:30

The average man today is sleepwalking through life, many never reaching their true potential, let alone ever crossing the finish line to living a purposeful life. Yet the hunger still exists, albeit buried amidst his cluttered mind, misguided beliefs and values that no longer serve him. It's time to align yourself for greatness. It's time to become a revolutionary man. Stay strong, my brother.

Speaker 1: 1:59

Welcome everyone to the Revolutionary man Podcast. I'm the founder of the Awakened man Movement and your host, alan DeMonso. Let me ask you a couple of questions. Are you living a life you are consciously designing, or are you just managing a life that happened to you? What could your life look like if you stopped settling for just being good enough and instead pursued a greatness that you were truly created for? If you've ever wondered whether there's more to life than survival, there is, and today we're going to dive into and learn how we can claim that for ourselves, and so I want you to get ready to rethink what's possible and to uncover the hero that lies within. In order to do that, allow me to introduce today's guest. That.

Speaker 1: 2:46

Allow me to introduce today's guest Mark Collins' passion for Life. Mastery was born from his desire to live the marriage that he knew he was created for, free from doubt, free from fear, free from the imposter syndrome, and so, over the past 15 years, he's coached and mentored hundreds of men, helping them overcome obstacles and step into the true potential. Now, life Mastery grew out of Mark's own freedom journey and his experience guiding others through theirs, and his mission is to help men unlock and unleash the hero within, and so they can lead powerful lives in their work, relationships and in every aspect of life. And so welcome to the show, mark. How are things, my friend?

Speaker 3: 3:22

I'm doing well, Alan. Thanks so much for having me.

Speaker 1: 3:28

Yeah, really looking forward to our conversation here this morning and such of the work you're doing resonates so deeply with me, and really appreciative of having such powerful guests such as yourself on the show. And so, as you know, here at the Revolutionary man, we always talk about all of us being on a hero's quest, and so, in your own journey, tell us about what that pivotal moment was when you realized you were just managing your life rather than mastering it.

Speaker 3: 3:49

Yeah, I think that's a great question, alan. For me, I think there was several moments in life and a lot of it is coming from trying to find the solutions right and trying to figure out how to be better. So early on in my life, it was really desiring to see the man that I was on the inside show up on the outside, the one I believed I could be right, the one that was confident and assured and powerful and passionate and really living the life that I was created for. If there was a pivotal moment for me, I think there was one that when I was in my early 30s I'm a little bit older, that was a while ago for me, but there was my wife and I were expecting twin daughters and we lost them, and it was an interesting moment.

Speaker 3: 4:26

First off, the grief and the challenge were such a struggle to get through, but prior to that, I was on this journey of trying to figure out how to be more than the person that was showing up and not have insecurity, not have imposter syndrome, and I was doing it through business, through academics, through athletics, really trying to do what the world says is going to make a difference. And come to find out it wasn't. I was the same person dealing with imposter syndrome when I was successful as I was in the beginning, but much more stressful because you have to manage now a new level of trying to accomplish. And so, for me, it was in that place of that loss in our lives that I stopped trying to measure up to other people's idea of who I should be, specifically my father, a man that I felt in some ways I could never measure up to, but was always that shadow hanging over my life, trying to measure up to who he said or his example of what I was supposed to be. And so it really wasn't mastery versus management.

Speaker 1: 5:22

It was finally stopping using somebody else's model on what it looked like to be a man, to be successful, to be confident, to be who I was this idea of trying to defeat the imposter syndrome and whether that was trying to excel and excelling in business and other aspects of your life and being an old, maybe even an over a send.

Speaker 1: 5:50

That might've been part of your journey, cause it sounds so similar to myself. But isn't it interesting that, no matter what we do, that, that imposter syndrome, that piece of us that still tends to exist, and you tied yours to your father and living to an ideal, whether that was a verbalized or unconscious or not, but having to live to that. And I see in my life and I wonder if men that you're listening today observe that anchor for you as well that something has been brought into your life, whether it's consciously or not, that you've been trying to overcome, and yet you continue to, no matter how successful are, you continue to see yourself as less than and so you talk a lot, mark, in your about in your life mastery program is that it's truly is living by design and not by default, and so maybe we should unpack that a little bit and what that distinction means between those two pieces and why it's so critical for us to know that.

Speaker 3: 6:46

Yeah, and what I tell people is, apart from a transformational journey, I haven't met a person yet, a man yet, that isn't living by default, and myself included. The challenge is that a lot of times, I believe that we are at best meant to manage our lives manage my emotions, manage my insecurity. Manage those things that are happening in my life. Manage my insecurity. Manage those things that are happening in my life. Right, it's the default mechanism that says this is about all I am. I can try and strive to be a little bit better. Really, it's just me managing the stress, the worry, the anxiety, whatever it is. And or I just put myself fully into those things, right, try to overwhelm it by success, by achievement, or, on the other end, unfortunately, by drugs, by alcohol, by pornography those things that I'm using to substitute for the life I really wish I had. And so life by design to me is helping guys understand that there is an alternative.

Speaker 3: 7:38

Life by default isn't our fault. It's just using the same mechanisms that everybody's been given. They manage my emotions as they come up, deal with the relationships I have, use those generic mantras and affirmations that really don't work, but everybody seems to think they do, so they use them instead of understanding that there's a design for who you are and a design for being unleashed. And we unpack it in my course and in my book, our three-step transformational strategy of mastering your thoughts, words and actions. But it really comes down to an understanding of maybe you're right that guy on the inside, the one you hope shows up, the one you believe you can be, you actually can be, but you're using the wrong tools, the wrong strategies to get there.

Speaker 1: 8:20

Absolutely. I completely agree with you. I think there are lots of things out there to try to point us in the right direction and we're going to talk, get into a little bit later in this episode and start talking about the importance of faith and how that has really was what. The deep part of what we're talking about here but just before we we dive into that you also talk a lot about one of your foundational pillars in your training is about identity and why we need support for us to get clear on who we are, because before we start chasing any goals, if we aren't totally crystal clear about who we are and what we're designed for, we're going to struggle, aren't we?

Speaker 3: 8:53

Yeah, no, absolutely. What I tell the people I work with is you're either living from who you're created to be or what your life has told you. And again, without understanding how to do something different, we all do the same thing, which we're built to create meaning from our life and our experiences. Right, I believe we're created by God to be able to overcome those things. It's the natural aspect of overcoming dangers in society and those things that could harm you, and they're positives when they're used in that way. But the challenge is you can't shut them off when you're living your life, and so the challenges you've walked through, the hurts that you've had I've just named an experience in my life where my wife and I lost our twin daughters. That leaves a mark, and the challenge is that many times we believe we're the sum total of the experiences we walk through. So if relationships aren't working out for you, now, all of a sudden you think I guess I'm never going to be happy, I'm never going to find that one. If you tried that business and it didn't succeed, you have this mindset that maybe that's for other people. And unfortunately, there's people that speak into our lives as well and try and limit us by their belief about who we should be.

Speaker 3: 9:55

And so, yeah, it's living from identity, understanding who you're created to be, being able to separate yourself from your experiences, not to discount them, not to ignore them, not to act like they didn't happen, but just to not allow them to influence who you believe you are. And then, on the other side of it, is that success principle of I'm just going to substitute my outcomes for my identity. And so when I am wealthy, when I do have the possessions, when I have all the things that I think mean success, now I'm somebody of importance and I work with people, and I'm sure people yourself, alan, who maybe you work with them who have had success and then it's gone, or have had something that was a great achievement in their life, but they don't have your job anymore. Now, all of a sudden, you lose your sense of purpose because you've been tied to something that's not your identity but a substitute for it. So identity is, at least for me, in the work that I do, it's the foundation of everything.

Speaker 1: 10:53

I completely agree. It's something that we focus on as well in our work. I think that you said it's so many powerful things there, and I just want to touch on the one where you talked about some of the times. We think that we are the sum total of our experiences, and the challenge with that idea and that mindset is the stories that we've wrapped those experiences in can truly shape us in a way that maybe we weren't intending to. Again, that's going by default, yeah, truly understanding the idea, the lessons and the deeper aspects of what's going on. And then you talked about then. There's the other side of the coin there, and that is there is that success or the identity tied to business and retiring, and there's lots of studies out there that show that if you have, don't have something to go towards once you're, once you've retired, that the lifespan is cut back by as much as 30%, and so think about that.

Speaker 1: 11:45

You work your entire lives the traditional idea of 55, 60, 65, depending on the situation that you're in only to have your short in your life because you've lived from an exterior perspective of identity versus truly owning who you are. And I think that comes back to our earlier part of our conversation today. We talked a little bit about this fear, insecurity and this imposter syndrome. So in your work, as you're helping men guide them through that, is there a tool, one tool you could share with us today, or a mindset shift that you have found that has been pretty effective for breaking through these barriers?

Speaker 3: 12:22

No, I appreciate that, and I love the word mindset because it really does start with your mind. It starts with the story you're telling yourself, and so the work that we do. Obviously there's a foundation of identity, and the reason is that I mentioned affirmations, I mentioned meditation before, and it's not that these are inherently bad, but the challenge is, when I do some sort of generic affirmation, I'm a man of strength, I'm a man of strength or whatever it is. I'm a man full of confidence. Whatever the thing you're using, if it's not aligned with who you believe you are, it'll never be effective in actually seeing a change in your life. And so when I'm trying to tell myself I'm something that I don't believe myself, you'll never say it enough times for you to actually believe it and, in that place, to act from it. And so, for us, the first of those transformational strategies I talked about earlier is mastering your thoughts. What I tell the guys I work with is who you believe you are you'll become, and if your thoughts aren't aligned with who you're created to be, then they're probably lying to you. And because they're not aligned with who you're created to be, then our three-step transformational strategy is your thoughts, words and actions. If my thoughts aren't aligned with who I am, then my words won't be aligned and then my actions won't, which means the result of what I'm doing whether I'm reaching for that relationship that I want and I desire, or I'm trying to find that job that's my calling in life, or I'm trying to create that business that's, for me, the thing that I'm passionate about. Whether you go for it or not will first be determined by who you believe you are and the actions you take towards it. So for us, it all starts with mastering your thoughts, but we use those identity statements and some of the other tools we have for that so that you start to reaffirm who you are, so that when challenge comes up or or new decisions come up or stress comes up which happens with everybody you actually are already primed understanding who you are.

Speaker 3: 14:11

Short version of it is I tell the guys I work with you're the answer to the room you're walking into. You're not the question to be figured out. When you continue to give yourself thoughts that align with who you're created to be, it starts to embolden you to actually be that guy and in that place you start to live it out, you start to have relationships, you start to have confidence, you start to have assurance, you go for those big goals and those amazing dreams. You don't hold back from those because last time it didn't work. You really are just living from the place of. This is who I am. So this is how I'm going to live it out.

Speaker 3: 14:42

And if I could give a caveat to that, while you still have success and I have guys who had success before, I worked with them and they had greater success after the success doesn't change, but the joy of it does. When you're somebody who is living for my outcomes, like you talked about your happiness, your joy, your excitement for that goal probably lasts about about 10 minutes, because now, all of a sudden, now I need to do another one and I need to do another one after that. But when you understand who you are, that your outcomes, your success, your accomplishments in life are simply an outworking of who you are, and in that place you can actually retain joy and have peace and have excitement in them, because I'm not tied to the outcomes. I know the outcomes are tied to me.

Speaker 1: 15:28

Love that. I love that because it absolutely you hit the nail on the head. There for me is when you talked about how it's it deepens the enjoyment versus just having a fleeting moment of success, and so really, what we've been talking about now we really want to get into it's about having. When we talk about having life by design, we're talking about having a faith foundation in our lives. So let's talk about how you incorporate I'm a man of faith as much as yourself, so how do you, how are you incorporating faith in your life mastery model, and how can men start to integrate this idea of faith with action in our lives?

Speaker 3: 16:01

Yeah, I appreciate you bringing that up. I am a. I'm a person of faith as well, and so, for me, I'm a Christian, and so every tool and strategy we have in life mastery is foundationally created through a scripture of teaching and instruction in the Bible that we've unpacked. So, mastering your thoughts. There's a Proverbs 23, seven. As he as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.

Speaker 3: 16:22

There's an instruction within that understanding that if I am the sum total of my thoughts and if I am the man I think I am, then how to become the man I was created to be is simply, first and foremost, by changing my thoughts. There's another scripture. It says let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight. Oh, lord my god. So it's talking about my words being pleasing to God and my meditations is another word for your thoughts. The question I have for the guys in the instruction we pull from it is okay. So if my thoughts and my words aren't aligned with who I'm created to be, then how can they be pleasing to the one who created me? So again, there's an alignment of okay. So, starting with identity, understanding who I am, using that in my thoughts and in my words, we always think outwardly, and that's being people of faith. A lot of times we think that God's word is intended for everything else and everyone else, but the truth of the matter is it's intended for us first, and that transformation is a biblical concept of understanding that you're being transformed by the renewing of your mind, concept of understanding that you're being transformed by the renewing of your mind. Again, when I align my mind with who he says I am and what I'm supposed to do now, all of a sudden there's the transformation that he's called me to, and it's not transformed into somebody you're not, but actually transformed into who you were created to be. And so I could go on all day and I won't. But all of it is foundational in the word of God, but it's using it, not as philosophy, not as bumper stickers or T-shirts that we can wear, and those things aren't necessarily bad, but they're not effective. What's effective is finding the instructions in it, finding ways to apply it in your life and living it out. And so that's what we've done is take the instructions, use them to understand. Ok, this is what the blueprint looks like. This is what I see in his work and what he's done in my life me specifically and so that's where life mastery has come from is being able to do those. How do you pull those out? It's really understanding that there are instructions in the word of God certainly my program, maybe your program as well that you can find those tools and those truths.

Speaker 3: 18:17

What I tell the men I work with is even the transformational strategy mastering your thoughts, words. They're in the word of god, but there's scientific basis for how do you change a habit into a continual work that you're doing? How do you become a different person? By changing your thoughts, words and actions. But thousands of years before science figured that out, god wrote it down, and so what I tell the guys I work with is what's God already knew, what science now shows, and so there's scientific backup, but there's really scriptural reference to it that predates anything anybody understood about how we work. So you can use those things and you can effectively do them in a way that will actually transform your life. The promise is real and true.

Speaker 1: 19:02

You can be transformed into the man you're created to be, so you can have that life you're created for completely agree, wholeheartedly, and in our program we dedicate a specific pillar of our, in our lives, just to being tied into spirit and god and yeah, and I think the for us, for us, the action step that I encourage my guys to do is to build into, ideally, in your morning routine to set the intention for the day, to have a meditation practice, read a little bit of scripture, read something, listen to something that brings joy for you and then to sit in and sit with it. I do a meditation practice. The idea is to sit in and really just be quiet and listen to what potentially the messages will come for me, and I can tell you that the days that that I spend that time that 10, 15, 20 minutes, depending on how it goes and to not put any rules around it other than just going to sit here and be I find I have a much more connection throughout all aspects of life. I'm more connected with the people that I interact with. I have more connection within in my alignment with my actions overall, and I really feel that is God working through me, because I've taken the opportunity to allow that to happen instead of living by default and getting up.

Speaker 1: 20:21

And when I was preparing for this, I was thinking back about 30 years ago. I saw this comic strip and I don't know why it has stuck in my head, but the comic strip was just a one character, one image, and it was a husband and wife sitting laying in bed and his right arm was really muscular and it was, and the caption was about him hitting the snooze button, wanting to get out of bed. And I thought at the time. I thought about how true is that in life? And yet, 25, 30 years later, that's still very true for many aspects of even in my life. It's okay, I'm just not said, I'm not doing anything to move a certain aspect of my life forward. And so what's the muscle am I building is basically what I'm getting at. But am I building this so that it hit the snooze button because I don't have any purpose today or don't have lack of direction? And what if I chose instead to be more aligned with who I am, who my creator has made me to be?

Speaker 1: 21:18

and lean into that, as scary as that is going to be. And I think that really then leads me into talking about the other aspect of your work, because you talk about being able to expand our capacity. So does someone really recognize where their capacity might be limited and what can they do to help expand that?

Speaker 3: 21:37

Yeah, and thank you for sharing your morning routine. I have one as well, and I love that that you bring that up because it really is. Life by design means that there's actions I take towards it. Life by default, as I tell people are you responding to the life that's happening or are you the response to it? And that's the difference between the two. I love the response of, and I just wanted to highlight that the reason why I'm sure you do it and I would assume, and for sure why I do it is the things that you intentions, the things that you focus on, become bigger in your life, and so that's why the first of the morning is important.

Speaker 3: 22:14

When I start with God in my life, when I start with reading the word and reminding myself of who I am, now, all of a sudden, I can properly go into my day so that I'm influencing the things that are happening. I'm not allowing them to influence me. So that is a profound thing that you'd said. I appreciate that. I apologize. I got so caught up with what you were saying I forgot about your question. What was the question again?

Speaker 1: 22:37

I was just talking about how we can implement expansion in our lives, and maybe it is part of that morning routine that helps create capacity for us. But is there anything else that you also look to do and teach with your men?

Speaker 3: 22:51

Yeah, absolutely. And what I see in the word of God and I see in the people's lives, the men's lives that I work with, is that there's an impact in the world that has your name on it. That's what I tell them. There's something that is the you thing. It's not the ordinary, it's not the average. It's something that's a driver, a passion, a purpose, something that's a gifting, a talent. It's something that God planted in the world with your name on it. And so how do you expand it?

Speaker 3: 23:12

For us, the definition of life mastery that I talked to the guys about is life mastery is living the life, being the person that you're created to be at the highest level that you're created for, and that's really that expansion and being that way in every area of your life. For me, there's five areas. It's the spiritual, relational, vocational, physical, financial. To me, these are the five spheres that, if I can live out the life and the maximum life I'm created for, in each of these areas I'll have the amazing life I believe for, and that belief comes from understanding and having a vision for them. And so, when you start to unpack and understand identity, when you start to understand that who you are and the impact you have. It's the character you have, not the skill set you bring. It's the man who's planted in the moment, not the talents that he brings with him. So when you understand those things, you can start to have a vision. And so, for us, part of that work is having that idea of okay, if this is who I'm created to be, I'm created to have compassionate, caring, intimate relationships. Okay. So with my wife, what does that look like, lived out in our marriage? What's the highest vision I can have that I believe God has for us in our marriage? It's ongoing intimacy. It's dating and having hard conversations that lead to better results. It's having those times of great joy and laughter. It's going towards unified goals that we're both passionate about and seeing an impact from our family because we're doing it right.

Speaker 3: 24:37

So what is the vision that you have for it? What's the highest vision that you can have? So what is the vision that you have for it? What's the highest vision that you can have? And then what can you do to walk towards that, and who are you meant to be in it?

Speaker 3: 24:47

So, again, identity and life mastery is me understanding.

Speaker 3: 24:50

I have an impact. I have an impact in my marriage. And so who do I need to show up as? Who did God create me to be in this marriage? And how can I invest that so that dream, that goal, that vision we have can be attained by us?

Speaker 3: 25:03

And it's a I don't want to say moving target, but it's an ever elevating idea that when we get to that place right, if you're physical area, if you're physically fit or you're going towards a goal, some sort of health goal and you reach it, that's not the plateau that you live on, that's just the next floor that you sit on and look towards, the next thing for you. So that's a lot of that is unpacked in, kind of the envisioning portion of what we do. But it all starts with who you are, because if you go for the goals before you understand identity and all of a sudden, what you're reaching for are things that are a substitute, that are going to make me feel good for the moment, versus those things that I'm meant to have my fingerprints on and to live out.

Speaker 1: 25:45

Yeah, I completely agree and I think that's so key that we understand that this aspect of it and you talk about really about envisioning and that, and one of the practices that I teach men is a visioning meditation aspect.

Speaker 1: 25:57

It's an opportunity for them to. I have a few questions for them to answer and to as they sit there. So it's a recorded thing for them and it gives them an opportunity to gain clarity in that moment. And I truly believe that if they're, if they practice this, then they will get the message. It'll be that quiet voice. It won't be the ego one that's barking at us all the time. It would be that quieter voice that will ultimately show up.

Speaker 1: 26:22

And so I liked how you talked about you know, this idea of where our lives get to and we implement these habits and these different strategies, and then we get to this plateau, or I think you talked about as a floor, and I think that leads to something else that I think we both agree on is that sometimes we can get into this habit of feeling that it's good enough for us today, and so when you're working with men and you're in that position, that place of life is good enough, and how do you reignite that hunger for them, that passion, so they can move away from just? Maybe it's a perfectionism idea or it's a sense of pride to really find that hunger, a sense of pride to really find that hunger?

Speaker 3: 27:01

No, I think that's a great question, alan, because a lot of times, when we say that it's good enough, what we're not saying that is, the truth behind that statement is I'm not willing to do what it takes to get better in this area, whether it's in our marriage or in our fitness or with our business job, whatever the thing is that you're doing. Really, the underlying truth is you're not willing to pay the price, you're not willing to go there. You don't feel comfortable being that vulnerable, that open. You're not willing to do the things that it takes to get there. And so it always comes back to this what's the life you believe you're created for? Because if you're unwilling to have a vision beyond today, then you probably won't do more than today. But if you have that vision and the honest truth is we all know when we're settling for something I was going to say sometimes or many of us, or most of us, but it's the truth is we know in our heart when it's like I just backed off on that, I didn't really go for it and it's fine. I've been there, I've been in that place.

Speaker 3: 28:04

But here's the interesting thing in Life Mastery when you start to unpack identity, you start to find that it's not the things that I'm walking through that make me who I am, it's who I am walking into them that changes the meaning of those things I'm walking through, meaning this I'm created for and for me. That's doing hard things. That's having uncomfortable conversations. That's reconciling with other folks when I've done something wrong, I've said an incorrect word, right. It's doing the hard things of life and it's doing it from a place of understanding. That's just simply who I am.

Speaker 3: 28:32

When you understand who you are, then the outcomes and the struggles and the challenges and the possible failures they don't have the impact that they used to Back in the day, when you're not feeling confident in who you are, I have to succeed, because if I don't succeed, what's it going to say about me? And so you maybe reach for smaller goals, you reach for easier things or you hold back altogether because I don't want the possible negative outcome, because it'll make me feel like a failure. When you understand who you are, you'll understand that success and failure aren't the equation. It's how am I really living out who I am? And part of that journey is not being perfect in every aspect and having to do things again, start another business, learn a new task or trade. So the more you're confident in who you are, the less going towards bigger goals is something you're unwilling to do.

Speaker 1: 29:25

I really like that distinction that you said that good enough means I'm not willing to, and then you talked about paying the price to get to where we want to go, and that paying that price can be being vulnerable. Having the conversation, the difficult conversation, all the things that show up, and I love that distinction. The conversation, the difficult conversation, all the things that show up, and I love that distinction. And because for me, when you said that I just went, that really made me uncomfortable going. Yep, I've been good enough in some aspects of my life that I need to address. Why am I not willing to move forward? And what a great way to put that.

Speaker 1: 29:56

And I think, for men that are listening to this episode, maybe you feel the same way. And if you do leave a comment, let us know about that aspect of your life as well. There you feel that when you feel it's good enough and that, what aren't you willing to go a little bit further for and get after? And, mark, both of us are mentors. We spend a lot of time coaching men, working with men, maybe a few wives as well. In my life I know I've had mentors as well who have helped me, and so I question for you about. I've had mentors as well who have helped me, and so I question for you about is there a mentor, or is there, or maybe there's part of scripture or something that was given to you? I'll call it a piece of advice that has served you and it continues to serve you today, and would you mind sharing?

Speaker 3: 30:35

that with us. There's been a lot of advice that I've ignored and sometimes the things you ignore are more important than the ones that you accept. True that when I was first passionate about God and really going after it I mean going to new locations, going on trips, really wanting to experience the fullness of all things God had I remember somebody told me one time they said, hey, just take it easy, you don't. You should calm down, you don't need to do this much, you don't need to do that. If anybody ever tells you you don't need to do this much, you don't need to do that. If anybody ever tells you you don't need to do more, you don't need to be as passionate as you are, that's probably somebody to ignore. While there may be mistakes in going for it and I've made mistakes in my own life I think the intention of wanting the fullness of the thing that you're going after is an honorable intention.

Speaker 3: 31:22

As far as mentors in my life I've had a lot of virtual mentors, read books, listen to folks the John Maxwell's or the Tony Robbins or people that have given me incremental increase, or even books. One of my favorites was a biography of Teddy Roosevelt and seeing how he overcome physical issues in his life and loss in his life as well, and some of the things that happen. I get great inspiration from people who've come before, of course in the Bible. The Bible is paramount to me and if I was to give you one, romans 12, 2 is a life scripture for me. It says do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you'll be able to test and approve what God's will is good, pleasing and perfect will. I memorized that scripture at a time because I wanted to know his will for my life. I felt there was more than where I was at and I didn't know what it was and I really wasn't in a really honest relationship with him. It was more task oriented. I was more of a servant than a son at the time, but I wanted that thing. I wanted to know what his will was for my life and I believed it was true that I could find it. I just didn't know the price that the first part of the sentence told me I needed to pay. I thought that it was in repetition and reciting things and showing up and being good enough that I'd be able to find out, come to find out. It was in a transformational process. It created everything that I worked on that made life mastery, first off in my own life and then the things that I'm using right now.

Speaker 3: 32:49

But it's that transformational process because in studying it what I found out was that the word transformation in English is actually in Hebrew is metamorpho, which is where you get the word metamorphosis from.

Speaker 3: 32:57

And I'm a bit of a nerd and I studied that word because when I get into the scripture it's so rich and deep that there's so much you can learn from it beyond just the actual sentences but the intent behind it and the root words and what God meant in those times.

Speaker 3: 33:20

That word metamorphosis if obviously anywhere in the world, if all, I would assume, in the world, if you look it up, the one example you probably would get would be a butterfly, which is a caterpillar to a butterfly. There's a metamorphosis process that changes that insect, that bug, from a caterpillar to a butterfly and I studied that and what I found when I was reading up on it and studying it was they said that you take a strand of DNA from the caterpillar and a strand of DNA from the butterfly and you compare the two, two and they're exactly the same. The only thing that's changed is the outward appearance. The inward, at the DNA level, the cellular level, of what this insect was, never changed one bit, and I understood in that that's exactly what God's calling us to in transformation. It's, he's not. If you know, from a spiritual perspective, if God did not make you perfectly, then he wouldn't be God.

Speaker 1: 34:05

Correct.

Speaker 3: 34:06

So, with that understanding, he's not trying to transform you into somebody else, because that means he didn't make you correctly the first time.

Speaker 3: 34:14

He's trying to transform you into who you were created to be, and that's why the renewing of the mind is so powerful in this part is because you will measure up to, you will have the life, you will have the dreams and the goals that you believe you deserve and you believe you're created for. You will never have an impact greater than you believe you're supposed to, and so that transformation isn't a transformation to somebody different I, early on in my Krishna walk, thought it was. It's a transformation into who he actually created you to be, not what your life has told you, not what the world says you are, not what others maybe have influenced you to believe you are capable of, but to really be the person you're created to be, because that man can change the world. And so that was definitely a foundation of my life in that scripture and unpacking it and trying to live it out a foundation of my life in that scripture and unpacking it and trying to live it out.

Speaker 1: 35:05

I love that and I love that part of scripture as well. Mark, everything that we've talked about today and maybe there was something we didn't get a chance to touch on what would be the one takeaway you'd like our listeners to have?

Speaker 3: 35:15

The one takeaway is your belief matters. I believe, like we talked about, we know when we're holding out and we're holding off, we're stepping back rather than stepping in. But I believe there's also something on the inside, the other side of that coin, is we know it because we believe we're worth more than that. We believe we're better than those things that we're doing sometimes and what I would tell the guys.

Speaker 3: 35:37

If you are a person who's spiritual, I believe there's a spirit inside of you that's telling you the truth, even though the world and your past and your pain has given you a voice that's louder, if that still small voice is talking about God. But that still small voice inside of you, I believe, is the spirit on the inside telling you there is more. You are correct. And it may not be easy and it may not be a quick fix, but it'll so be worth it If you listen to that voice, if you heed it and find the tools and strategies to get to the place where you're created to be. It'll all be worth it If you do that.

Speaker 1: 36:13

Completely agree and love that. What a great way to wrap up today's conversation. I just want to say thank you so much, mark, for spending time with us today and sharing your wisdom on what it means to live a life mastery journey, and so your insights have truly given us a powerful framework for breaking free from default and living and stepping into the hero that has God created us to be, and men are interested in getting a hold of you, participating in your work. What's the best way for them to do that?

Speaker 3: 36:41

Yeah, I appreciate the question. I try and be a one-stop shop, so my shop is my website, it's freedom-for-lifenet. You can sign up for my course out there called Life Mastery. There's actually an ebook version of my book Life Mastery Living Life by Design, not by default, so you can have it on any device you want. You can get my book on Amazon because everything's on Amazon nowadays and if you wanted to reach out to me specifically to talk about any life mastery questions or whether it's for you, you can reach me at markmark at freedom-for-lifenet.

Speaker 1: 37:12

Perfect. I'm going to make sure all of those that information is in today's show notes, as well as wherever you we can find you on social media. As we wrap up today's episode, I want to challenge you to do one more thing with this question Are you merely managing your life or are you trying to master it, or actually mastering it? If you're ready to step out of fear, insecurity and small thinking and step into your greatness that you were designed to do, your journey begins today, and so, in our program, go to memberstheawakenedmannet and we have a free integrity challenge for you to take. Don't settle for survival, but really build the life that you were made to live, and so live with courage, lead with power and let's get started today. Gentlemen, thank you so much for being on the show again. Mark Really appreciated our conversation.

Speaker 3: 37:58

Yeah, great joy to be here. Thank you for it.

Speaker 2: 38:08

Thank you for listening to the Revolutionary man podcast. Are you ready to own your destiny, to become more the man you are destined to be? Join the brotherhood that is the Awakened man at theawakendmannet and start forging a new destiny today.