How Choosing Hard Things Can Save Your Marriage with Mitchell Osmond

In this powerful episode, Alain Dumonceaux, host of The Revolutionary Man Movement, delves into the often-overlooked aspect of true leadership within the home. Joined by Mitchell Osmond, leadership advisor and founder of Dad Nation, the conversation unpacks the painful tension many men feel between career success and personal struggle. Highlights include Mitchell's personal transformation from hitting rock bottom. These pivotal moments spurred change, the importance of physical fitness in leadership, and actionable steps for men seeking to break generational cycles and rekindle family connections. Don't miss the practical tools and heartfelt discussion aimed at helping men lead with power, integrity, and impact.

 Key moments in this episode:

01:43 Meet Mitchell Osmond: A Journey of Transformation

05:58 Rebuilding and Finding Purpose

14:53 The Power of Connection: The Connection Code

19:02 The Importance of Fitness and Mindset

21:22 Building Self-Confidence and Respect

26:23 Choosing Your Hard: Embracing Challenges

28:01 Breaking Generational Cycles

31:28 Leaving a Legacy

34:54 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

How to reach Mitchell:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dadnationco 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mitchell-osmond-5a07a210a/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/mitchellosmond/

Free Course: The Connection Code

Podcast: The Dad Nation Podcast

Chapters

• 0:04 Opening Challenge To Men
• 0:48 Mission Of Revolutionary Man
• 1:37 Introducing Guest Mitchell Osman
• 2:37 Fight And Funeral: The Turning Points
• 6:19 Accountability And Rapid Life Rebuild
• 8:20 Identity At Work Vs Power At Home
• 9:26 Begin With The End In Mind
• 12:09 Clarity, Eulogies, And Values
• 15:02 The Connection Code Explained
• 18:40 Date Nights And Practical Reconnection
• 19:54 Fitness, Neurochemistry, And Self-Respect
• 24:35 Choose Your Hard And Own Your Day
• 27:11 Breaking Generational Cycles
• 31:38 Legacy, Authors Advantage, And Mission
• 34:47 Final Encouragement And Men’s Emotional Tools
• 37:22 How To Work With Dad Nation
• 38:21 Host’s Integrity Challenge And Closing

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:04

Allow me to ask just a couple of questions to get our day started. What does true leadership look like? Not in your business, but in your home. And when was the last time that you looked in the mirror and truly like the man staring back at you? If you've ever felt that winning in your career was all that it was supposed to be, but then falling totally short where it matters most, then I think this episode might be for you. So in order to do that, hit subscribe, like, and share this podcast because there's going to be someone else other than just you listening today that probably is going to need to hear this message. And if we can do that, then I'm sure we can start working from the inside out today. And with that, let's get on with today's episode.

SPEAKER_00: 0:48

The average man today is sleepwalking through life. Many never reaching their true potential, let alone never crossing the finish line to living a purposeful life. Yet the hunger still exists, albeit buried amidst his cluttered mind, misguided beliefs, and values that no longer serve him. It's time to align himself for greatness. It's time to become a revolutionary man. Stay strong, my brother.

SPEAKER_01: 1:17

Welcome back, friends. My name is Alan DeMonson. I'm the host and the founder of the Revolutionary Man movement. And we're here to help lead men with power, at an impact, and with integrity. And before the break, I asked a couple of tough but really important questions about what it really means to lead home in the same intensity that we would lead our life at work. And so today's episode is for any man who's ever felt that painful tension between public success and private struggle. And to help us unpack this, I'm joined by Mitchell Osman, and he's a leadership advisor, podcast host, and founder of the DAD Nation and Mitchell's personal transformation from rock bottom to redefining powerful fatherhood and marriage can what that can totally look like. And he's inspired tens of thousands of men from around the world. And so allow me to welcome Mitchell to the show. How are things, brother?

SPEAKER_02: 2:06

Thank you for having me on the show today, Alan. Things are going great and looking forward to having a coven, having a powerful conversation with another Canadian. It's going to be great, man.

SPEAKER_01: 2:16

So thanks for having me. Brother, really looking forward to this. And here at the Revolutionary Man, we always talk about all of us being on our own version of a hero's quest. And so tell me about that death and rebirth moment in your life when that really was some opportunity for you to change the way you perceived yourself and into the man that you are today.

SPEAKER_02: 2:37

Yeah, this it's a great place to start. I think a lot of people wonder what was your transformation moment, what was your turning point? And for me, there were two key pivotal moments. One was a fight, and one was a funeral. Okay. So let me start with the fight. I want you to picture me and my wife were sitting in the living room, and it all hit the fan. We had a big fight about money. It morphed into a fight about me working too much, and it went on from topic to topic. And at this point, we had been married for about three years, and it was a hard three years of struggling. But today, this fight was our rock bottom. We had never used the word divorce. This day we did. This was different. I felt like I couldn't fix this one. And deep down I knew that if something didn't change, then this was gonna be over. Now, to give you to back up and give you a little more context, I was recently let go from a senior leadership position. And my career was everything as men, we can identify with that. It was my calling, it was my identity. I spiraled into depression. I was 60 pounds overweight. We were a hundred grand in debt, medicating with drugs and alcohol, just trying to cope. And I was getting dangerously close to divorce, like I talked about. I was losing hope, stressed out, checked out, burned out. And I had seen so much success professionally and in leadership, Alan, but in like in growing organizations and all those things. But why couldn't I figure out my life personally? Why was it I was so powerful at work, but powerless at home? Maybe your listeners have been there. I want to take it back a step even more. I was raised in a very dysfunctional home. I had a non-existent relationship with my father. Alcoholism, drugs, and crime were littered throughout my family growing up. And so I was caught in the middle of it all. I knew where I came from and I knew I wanted something different for my life, but I could feel myself getting pulled back into the trauma of my childhood and making the same mistakes my family made and my father made and his father made. And when I would yell, I could hear his voice in mine. And at times it felt like I was two different people trapped in the same body. I could lead board meetings and I could do all that stuff. But when I came home, I didn't know how to talk to my own wife. It was a there was a duality that I was experiencing that was tearing me apart. Now, the second turning, the second part of my story was the funeral. And that was about a week after this big fight we had. And so I was invited to sing at the funeral of this wealthy, philanthropic man. And after hearing about the man's accomplishments and all that he had done, I was putting on my guitar, getting ready to sing the last song. And the minister asked the congregation, the people at the funeral, he said, Are you living a life worthy of imitation? If you were to die tomorrow, would you be proud of the legacy that you left? And Alan, as I began to try to sing the last lyrics, the lyrics of that last song, I could barely choke at the lyrics because all I could think was, if this were my funeral, then no one would be saying, I want the marriage that he had, or I want to live like he did. I want the how to be a present father like he was. They would probably say at that point he struggled, his life was hard, and then it ended. And that's the thing with funerals is people told stories of this man, and that's what we do because at the end, that's all we have left. And so I was determined that day when I left that funeral that I would rewrite my story, not just for me, but for my family. I committed to writing new chapters, and I know it sounds intense, but I knew that I needed to die to the man that I was in order to become the man that I knew I needed to be for my family. And if I wanted to, if I wanted different results, I had to make different decisions. It's like Einstein's old definition of insanity. It's doing the same thing and expecting different results. And so after that point, I started to surround myself with men who were living where I wanted to go. These men, like my ceiling, was their floor. Where I ended, they began. And they gathered around me. They held me accountable to the things that I said I wanted. They they encouraged me, celebrated with me in my victories, and also stood with me in my losses. They showed me what was possible, not just how to do it, but helped me to see it for myself. And within 18 months, within a year and a half, paid off 100 grand of debt, completely restored our marriage, lost the 60 pounds, and I was clean, focused, sober, and just ready to go, focused and on fire, man. And so, really, that was the turning point. And then I just started helping friends of mine, buddies who were having a hard time with financially earned their marriage with the practices and systems that I used. And then so someone challenged me. A mentor said, Hey, if you really want to have impact, you should start a podcast. All right, so then I launched a Dad Nation podcast. And then within six months or so, I had listeners around North America, and then they would reach out and say, Hey, could you help me? Can I hire you to coach me with this? And so I figured out how to launch a coaching business and I started helping men all over North America in the same things that I saw transformation in. Because I help high-performing men or career-driven men reclaim their home, their health, and their happiness. And so that's how I started to do this, how I got here. And man, to bring it full circle at the end of the day, for me, what's what does it look like for me to live a life worthy of imitation is a life that is dedicated to helping other men end those generational cycles and show up powerfully at home, like they do at work, to restore marriages and to restore families. And so that's how I got here, man.

SPEAKER_01: 8:04

Man, what a powerful story, Mitchell, to open us up today with this conversation. And I was furiously writing down notes as you'll catch me do this throughout our episode. And some so many truth bombs there. And the first one that I was able to jot down was how attached we are as men in our identity to what we do for a living than who we are as individuals. And your story resonates deeply with me because I had the same similar experience in my 30s as a successful chef and having a great external life, but it cost me everything at home. I wasn't as fortunate at that time to save and salvage my marriage. But it was such a pivotal point that it forced me to really look at the man in the mirror and change. And so thank you so much for bringing that forward because I still think even today, we still at times focus on one aspect of our life. And maybe it isn't just on the work, maybe it is all about home. And I still think that can be a trap in and of itself that we lose ourselves. And I think that's what you're really saying is getting lost in something. We can take that step back. And right, and so many of us are feeling like we're juggling all this stuff. So, what do you have to say then to those high-achieving leaders who really do feel successful in their personal in their business life, but they are powerless at home? What would be a step forward for them?

SPEAKER_02: 9:26

Yeah, I would say the most important thing we can do is to begin with the end in mind. Now, Stephen Covey in his book, The Heavy Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, chapter two, is dedicated to beginning with the end in mind. Napoleon Hill, one of the most famous thought leaders of our time, begin with the end of mind. My funeral moment, you know, was me beginning with the end of mind, literally. And so I would say, well, now why is that so important? It's because you cannot escape truth. You cannot escape raw honesty. And that honesty, that truth is that one day you will take a final breath. When you take that final breath, how will you feel about the life that you lived? So, questions like, what do you want to be known for? So, for example, I take all of my clients through a eulogy writing exercise where they actually write their eulogy for their partner, their wife, or their children. What would they say about you as they stood over your coffin and your memorial service? Today, what would they say? And now let's write a version 2.0 about if you were 100% the man you wanted to be, and then you knew you could be, write it again because therein lies the tension is the man that we are currently and the man that we know we could be if we really went all in. And this gap that's what eats us alive. And though that that I think is a great place to begin of like getting raw and honest. And I ask like a lot of my clients, man. 90% of the guys I ask, like, what do you want? They don't know, right? They have no idea. They're like, I just I spent the last 15 years building this business. You know, I don't know my kids. I'd love to know my kids. My wife doesn't respect me. I'd love to gain her respect again. Okay, so let's talk about that then. Because what you're wanting, what you say you want, is different than what your actions are telling your family and the world. And there's a disconnect because you're saying you want this, closeness at home, all those different things, but yet your actions say all you care about is work. And so let's actually get some clarity here and begin with the end in mind and get raw and honest about what truly matters to you the most. Because I'll tell you what, in every single time I've done this exercise with men, never once did they write in their eulogy that they wanted their wife to talk about how many businesses they built or how many million dollars they made. Never once. Or they're they they never talked about how they want their kids to build their empire. It was it's all about how he was present and how he loved them and how he built into them and how he gave back to his family and his community. But those aren't the things that we focus on in the day to day. And so for me, that that is always a very powerful place to begin. Another question outside of what do you want is what do you want to be known for? Which is a very more uh more specific question of whether it's your buddies at a bar having a pint, thinking about you, or whether your wife is talking to her girlfriends or your colleague or your boss. What do you want to be known for? Do you want to be known for as the person who shows up, who's a man of his word, who loves his kids fiercely, who cherishes his wife, or do you want to be known for someone who made a lot of money but was empty? Because here was another thing that I was faced with, Alan, in this whole pivotal point, this turning point for me, because I had this realization of what's the point of all this leadership and all this influence and this wealth if I'm gonna be sitting around the Christmas tree alone this year. Yeah, and that was a reality that that was very close to me with my family celebrating in the house that we built together, and I'm renting out an apartment down the street alone, you know. Is that what I want? And so you can't, that's visceral, man. That's raw, and you can't get away from that. And so when men get honest, begin with the end in mind, that is really what draws people in and helps them get clarity or at least start taking the steps. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01: 13:26

Completely. And that makes so much sense. And for us, we apply a similar process. And what I do is take them through a values and a belief exercise. The purpose of it is, and you mentioned in here this for them to recognize the disconnect. I say that I value five my family and that I care for them. Okay, how do your actions align with that? Oh, I haven't spent any time with them. And when the reality sets in about how we start, how we're actually showing up, what we think we stand for is very different in some aspects of our life. And so starting there is a great place. I always say men are ready for change when we're ready to accept where we are and take responsibility for where we are in life, because all the decisions, everything we've done, every every action we've taken has led us to where we are today. Then you got to take responsibility for who you are. You are that man. You're the man that made those decisions. And like you said, to move forward, now take responsibility for who the man you want to become. And I always like them to finish the sentence, I'm the kind of man who. And then whatever you put at the end of that sentence is your intention for how you're going to live that day, that moment, that week, that year. And so I think it's really great that we use these types of frameworks, frames to help us help men understand, because that's how we're wired, isn't it? That we have this. And you have a great one. You call the connection code. And I just thought if we could unpack that a little bit, but what it is and how are you using that to help men really reignite the marriages?

SPEAKER_02: 15:00

Yeah. Oh man, thanks for asking that question because I think it's a really helpful tool. And so if you're listening today and to the show, it's just a free gift that I want to give you. And like Alan said, it's called the Connection Code. It's 50 questions that can spark the fun and bring the fire back in your relationship. Now, these are tried, tested, and true. They cover everything from your dreams, your goals, what you love to do for fun. They cover like intimacy, all that kind of stuff from from the living room to the bedroom. You know what I mean? It's all there. And so I just tell guys all the time whether it is you want to go out on a date, take three or four questions off the list, or maybe you put the kids down, pour up a glass of wine, and grab two or three questions. But the reason why this is so effective is because, and we know this, our partners want to be, especially like our wives, or if you're with a woman, she wants to be connected in an emotional way. We know this is a crazy statistic, though. We know 70% of all divorces in the United States today are initiated by women. Okay. That's correct. Now, in situations where the wife is a high earner or she's she's educated, that statistic jumps to 90%. Okay, nine out of 10 divorces are initiated by women. Then of those divorces, 80% of the time, it's because the wife feels emotionally disconnected from the man, that he's emotionally unavailable, that he doesn't understand how to connect with her on that kind of level. And so, what does all this tell us? Well, it tells us that we statistically we've got some work to do. You know what I mean? And we talk about ownership, and so that's exactly why I created this tool to be like, hey, it's not the 30s and 40s and 50s anymore. We're in the 2020s, okay? We have tools and resources, and this is another one, and it's gonna help literally. I give it to you on a silver platter to ask this question at this time. And I tell you, Alan, I get people, I get women reaching out to me all the time being like, this thing changed everything for us. My husband connected with me so much more powerfully than and than he ever has, and it's a powerful tool, it's so simple, and that's the thing. We're we're wired backwards when we talk about masculinity versus femininity. The men women want to be connected with emotionally before they can become physical. Men are the opposite, and you know this. We need to be connected with physically before we can connect emotionally, and so we literally go at this backwards, right? And so this tool helps men speak her language and to connect more powerfully. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01: 17:36

Absolutely, and it's a powerful tool. I really love the questions. We actually were using some of that the the other night. So, one of the things we try to do as a couple, not try to do, we actually have it scheduled is that this every second Friday, one of us is responsible for a date night. And it's more than just dinner in a movie, it's to go do something different. And so we've gone and we've taken dancing lessons and we've done other things. So, this one happened to be an opportunity for us to practice really connecting and getting getting in into stuff, stuff that's far deeper than what our typical conversation is. How's your day? How's things going? We always do a check-in on a scale one to ten. How's the relate? How's the relationship going? If it's anything less than a seven, what can I do? That be after a while became very rote for us and it was less meaningful. So seeing this tool and starting to apply it, I can tell you has been outstanding and really been a big benefit. So I appreciate that you've done that work.

SPEAKER_02: 18:30

Yeah, yeah. I'm glad you've enjoyed it, man. And you can put the link in the show notes below, or you can just go to the my website, dadnationco.com forward slash code, and get it there.

SPEAKER_01: 18:38

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_02: 18:39

We're gonna do that.

SPEAKER_01: 18:40

The other thing you talked about in the intro there is about losing weight as well, right? And how that you're 60 pounds overweight and you need to get your yourself into shape. And I see that as men as well. It's one of the things that we tend to also forget is that if we can't even lead ourselves physically, how can we expect to lead others? And so that was a hard lesson for me to learn. It's one of the things that was very challenging for me. I cannot be counted on my own to manage my physical fitness today, which is why I ultimately made the jump to hire a fitness coach. And I can tell you it's been the best decision in my life. And so let's talk about why it's so important that the from a fitness aspect, how not is it just about transforming how you look and feel, but how that really changes the mindset and it mindset, I should say, and impacts your marriage.

SPEAKER_02: 19:32

Yeah, man. Wow, that's so good. And first of all, congratulations on taking your taking ownership of your fitness because that's huge. All of my clients have a custom training plan and a custom nutrition plan, and that I build for them because fitness and physical health is so much more than physical. In fact, I would say physical is like the smallest part of this. The reason why is there's a few different there's a few different things. Let's talk about emotionally, psychologically, and then we'll talk about our self-confidence, what it does. So, first of all, the neuroscience doesn't lie about this. When you physically exercise, right, if you want to get more effective in business and to be a stronger leader, not just physically, you need to train because when you exercise, there are neurochemicals that are released, like norepinephrine, serotonin, dopamine, so many more, and then actively lower cortisol levels, right? They so what that means is it lowers your stress levels, it helps you, it increases your cognitive focus, your cognition, right? Your ability to think clearly, boosts your mood. So many different things that it can help with outside of simply getting stronger and losing fat. Some of my best ideas come after a run or a workout, right? So we know that from a neurological perspective, it's highly advantageous to work out because you can handle more stress, you can think more creatively, you can be more strategic, you can be more focused, all that kind of stuff. And that has serious implications on your professional career. But then outside of that, when we talk about what it does psychologically for us, so a big reason why men find themselves in a big rut is because they've broken promises to themselves, they've not taken ownership. Okay, so let's talk a little bit about self-confidence and self-respect. So what happens in marriages and relationships and why they deteriorate is because our spouses lose respect in us, right, for us, and they lose confidence in us. And as a man, our two greatest needs are to feel respected and to feel competent, right? And so the problem is when we don't follow through on the things that we said we would do, we lose the confidence and the respect of our partners. And so they choose, they don't necessarily have the same respect for us, which means we don't necessarily feel compelled to love them and cherish them because we don't feel respected, and then we get caught in this cycle, which we call the crazy cycle, right? But outside of this lack of respect in the marriage, what happens internally is if you don't make promises and keep them. So for example, if I said to you, Alan, I'm gonna get up at 6 a.m. every morning or 5 a.m. and I'm gonna train. Actually, maybe I didn't even tell you this. I just made a promise to myself. I may think no one else knows that I didn't actually get up. So what's the big deal? But your mind does, your subconscious mind does. And what it does then is it begins to say things like, Why should anyone trust you if you can't even trust yourself, that you can't get up when you set an alarm, or you can't put your phone down and be present with your kids. You can't even trust yourself. And so what happens is the mind goes to war, right, with yourself, and then you begin to lose rapport with yourself, meaning you lack, you lose confidence in yourself, right? And that's if me and you say, if I said, I'm gonna meet you every one Thursday morning at 9 a.m. for a coffee, the first Thursday 9 a.m., I I didn't show up until 10. You'd be like, Oh, that's weird. But then the next week I showed up at 11, and the third week I never showed it up at all. You'd feel pretty you'd lose confidence in me pretty quickly. So when we talk about confidence, what we're talking about here is your ability to follow through and keep the promises you made, not just to yourself, but to your partner. And so this is a challenge we get into when it comes to these challenges that we face, when it comes to yeah, our self-confidence and all the things we've talked about. And so the best thing we can do as men is to focus on taking complete ownership and saying, what are three small promises that I can make? And the reason why this happens is because when I get up and I go to the gym when I said I would, or I choose a chicken salad over the cheeseburger and poutine when I said I would, what happens is I began to be, I begin to be more self-confident, right? Yeah, and so it's as men for this, we can be very, we're very practical. We want strategies, we want tactics. This is a great way to restore our self-confidence by training, by exercising, right? And then that gives us more confidence to face the other things in our life, right? I tell guys all the time if you can get a new PR in your squat when you're busting your butt doing this, you that's the hardest thing you're gonna do all day. You can take any meeting after that, you know. If you get up first thing in the morning and challenge yourself this way, and so and the last thing I would say is when it comes to you saying yes to yourself in the morning, that's the first test, right? When you get when you see that alarm go off and you say, Nah, I'm gonna sleep in, and you say no to the promise you made or no to yourself, you're psychologically setting yourself up to continue breaking promises throughout this whole day because you started off by saying no, you started off with a broken promise, and this is psychology, right? But when it comes to physical fitness and training, that's what I'm saying. Like neurologically speaking, we can we have so much more capacity for so many more things, and then it helps build our self-confidence when we follow through with the promises we make. And then, not to mention, we happen to get stronger and lose fat and be healthier. So, those are some big reasons, in my opinion, why it's important.

SPEAKER_01: 25:33

Yeah, those are all powerful reasons, and the reasons, similar reasons as to why I decided at this stage to finally take true action with it and to move forward because it does, it is a different mindset. Those little wins for yourself when you don't want to get up and go and do the work, and you do it anyways. And maybe it wasn't the best workout, it's not about that. It's about I actually completed and had the self-discipline, the awareness to follow through. And I think as we do that, like anything, it's a muscle, it does tend to get stronger and better. We have better days than others, but we just continue to move forward. And I think that's the importance about why physical fitness can be one of those catalysts to help us move forward and really reshape our mindset. So thank you for much for that powerful note.

SPEAKER_02: 26:23

Yeah, and Alan, real quick, I would say a common mistake we fall into, and perhaps this is the largest gap we fall into, is that we're waiting for this to be easy. That we're waiting for life to be David Data in the book The Way of Superior Man, he calls it the great masculine error, is that thinking that one day we're just gonna be able to sit on a beach and sip a margarita, and we're just gonna be able to, everything's gonna make sense. And so no, that's never gonna happen. If you're to be on a deserted island with umbrella drinks for the rest of your life, you'd go insane and you'd have diabetes pretty quick, right? So that's not the goal. And I love there's been very many variations of this of choose your heart or choose your pain. When you think about it, like having a great marriage is hard, divorce is hard, right? Being in great shape is hard, being overweight is hard, being rich is hard, being poor is hard, having great friends and having great relationships takes work. It's hard. Having no friends is hard, working for someone else is hard, being an entrepreneur is hard. Literally, there is no such thing as easy. And I tell clients this all the time: the sooner you can accept that and embrace it, the sooner you will be content and you'll be ready to take full ownership. But it's not as long as you're striving for that thing that's literally impossible, yeah, you're never gonna be content. And so not falling into that trap of thinking that it's gonna be easy or that someone's gonna save you or that the Calvary is gonna come, or yeah, you know what I mean? It's a fallacy. So, anyways, a little tidbit to add in there.

SPEAKER_01: 27:58

Yeah, I love that. I love that bolt on that was perfect. Obviously, as a dad and a coach, you've been helping thousands of men and helping everyone get realigned with things, but there's also this idea of this really the weight of this generational cycles that we face. And so, what's advice would you give to you talk to men that maybe came from a similar situation as you? Not necessarily fatherlessness, but dysfunctional homes. And how would you want to lead differently if you're coming out of that environment?

SPEAKER_02: 28:27

Yeah, I would say, I'm gonna go on a bit of a rant here because I'm really passionate about this. I would say understand that you have so much more significance and so much more impact than you even realize. Okay, so for example, in the US today, we know that one in four kids will grow up without a father in the home. So there's a lot of parts of society that would say men don't matter, but the numbers say otherwise. Let me share some statistics with you that'll that should rattle you. 63% of youth suicides come from fatherless homes. 90% of homeless and runaway children come from fatherless homes. 85% of kids with behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. And this last one, 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. And so, what's the truth here? Our kids need us, our spouses need us, this world needs us, and we need each other. And so, if you don't feel like you have the courage or capacity to end this generational cycle for you, then do it for your children, then do it for your family because we know statistically speaking, our children, there's a high probability. I was reading some research articles, I think it's like 80%. We have our children have an 86% chance of adopting the behaviors and the and our lifestyle choices. And so what that means is if you're listening and you have a son, there's a high probability that he will become the husband you are today, right? If you have a daughter, there's a very high probability that she will grow up to. Crave the affection of a man just like you, and she'll end up in a marriage just like you. I know it, I've seen it in my family, I see it in my clients' families. And so, what do we do about that? We know that our kids are gonna do what we do, right? They're not always gonna do what we say, but they're gonna do what we do. And so, what should we be doing? We need to model greatness so that when that girl comes home, brings home a guy one day. If we want her to bring home a great man one day, we need to model that greatness so she can recognize it in other men when she sees it. You understand what I mean? So for me, that's what I say all the time. I'm like, you know what? Again, begin with the end in mind. Think about your children. If you can't do it for you, do it for them. Because at the end of the day, that's the kind of impact you have that literally what you do impacts generations. And the statistics that I read, they don't lie. So that's an encouragement I would share.

SPEAKER_01: 30:51

Yeah, absolutely. And completely agree with that. Is we do need to be the models. And I was having conversations here in the last two days with some folks, and that's was pretty much my core message. It's about modeling. How can I, how can we model something different? The thing that we want to have happen in our life, how can I be that's embodying the value or the idea, the belief that we have so that it's actually can be seen, it's physically seen. And so it's it takes it takes work to do that, to be that in the moment to recognize it. Let's fast forward 10 years from now, Mitchell, and think about where you're today. You talked earlier in the podcast about legacy. What kind of legacy do you hope to leave for yourself?

SPEAKER_02: 31:35

You know what, Alan? No one's ever asked me that question. I don't think I've thought a lot about it, but I'm usually the guy asking that question. Man, that's such a good question. My my mind always goes back to actually let me grab something here. I with the my my man, I have this, I give them these journals, and it's hard to see. If you're watching on YouTube, you can see it. But if you're listening on audio, the journal on the front says, What chapter are you writing today? And so it's this idea that we can write new chapters, that you're not a victim of your past, that you get to write new chapters, that you get to write your story. I have a framework called the author's advantage, meaning that we actually do this in reverse. We start with the future, create a very clear future, a clear picture of what we want our future to look like, and then strategically reverse engineer that into daily action steps. But then also we speak to our past and we say we will no longer will be victim to the past, and we're gonna pull that into alignment with our future and actually bring it some purpose and to set us on a great trajectory so that our past doesn't inhibit us or restrict us in our future, but it actually now serves our purpose. And so for me, what my what I've what I want to do here is like you heard a little bit about my story, raised in alcoholism and crime and all those different things. I'm repurposing that past, channeling that, and dedicating my life to helping other men and these generational cycles for them and their families. My goal through the Dad Nation is to reach 500,000 men through media and mentorship. And that means whether it's through the podcast, whether it's through coaching, the online programs, you name it. But when I ask my, and I literally had this conversation with my wife a couple of days ago or a couple of weeks ago when we were walking, our boy, I said, Sam, her name's Sam, I said, uh, I think I'm finally at the point that if God forbid I die tomorrow, I would be able to draw my last breath in peace. Because I've helped men. And if I could say at the end of the day that I helped one man restore their relationship and restore their marriage and show up for their children and end one cycle, for me, that is a legacy. That is a life worthy of imitation. That is a life that that I believe that is is noble. And so for me, what does that legacy look like? Yeah, to keep doing more of that, to reach more men and to help them show up as powerfully at home as they do at work, because we got all kinds of strategies and tools and resources on how to get professional success. But what does it look like to be a personal success as well? And so that's my mission, man. And nothing sets a fire in my belly more than getting the opportunity to work with men in this capacity or even talking with other men who are doing this as well. So that's I think that's my answer to what does it look like for me to leave a legacy?

SPEAKER_01: 34:33

And that's so powerful, Mitchell. I totally can see that ready resonate that like through and through. It's just been so powerful. As we talked about now and throughout this episode, we've touched on a bunch of things, and maybe there was something we didn't get a chance to touch on. What would be the parting message of encouragement you want to have our listeners to have today?

SPEAKER_02: 34:54

Yeah, I would say understand that you are not alone, you are not broken, that you have much to offer this world, but we are a byproduct of our environment, of how we were raised. When we think about how we have a difficult time talking about our emotions, because it can be easy to hear us. If you're listening, you can hear me and Alan talking about this as if it's easy. It's not. When you think about world the world wars, for example, just a few generations ago, these men came home with extreme PTSD and trauma, and they didn't have tools and resources. They had the bottle, maybe the legion, but they stuffed it down. They raised sons, and then those sons raised sons without tools. And we were told, men don't cry, deal with it, stuff it down. But now we have tools and resources, and it's a really great thing. There's actually a term called a psychological term called normative male alexithymia, which you can, it's a mouthful, you can Google it. But the word alexithymia, the root from the Greek, actually means it's broken down to without sound, I believe it is. And so it's normal for men to be on unable to share or speak about how they feel. And this is because of these generations, and then growing up in a culture that's even today, it's we're just uncomfortable talking about our emotions. So I say all that to say there's proof around us, there's generational proof, there's psychological proof that this is a part of the male expression. Now, that is important to understand that you're normal, but we don't use that to justify continuing, right? This is your sign. If you're listening to this episode today, this is your cue. These are your tools. Reach out, right? Because it doesn't have to continue. The moment you take ownership, you begin to change the trajectory of your entire family and their family. So that would be my encouragement today for your listeners.

SPEAKER_01: 36:49

What a great way to wrap up today's conversation. Today I just want to say, Mitchell, thank you so much for spending time with us today. And your story is truly of radical transformation. You've been extremely vulnerable with us here, and you are modeling what true masculine leadership looks like. And so it's an opportunity for all of us to learn and grow as we listen to podcasts like this and get involved in different programs. And so, speaking of programs, if men are interested in connecting with you and wanting to take that next step with Dad Nation, what's the best way for them to do that?

SPEAKER_02: 37:22

Yeah, that's thank you for giving me the opportunity to share, Alan. I keep it real simple. I do three things, right? So content, courses, and coaching. So the content is the Dad Nation podcast, real simple, real free, easy barrier or easy entry. Courses is something called the high performance husband, which is all the stuff that I teach my one-to-one clients, which is a self-guided program you can do. And then the coaching, which is my group coaching. And for the right guy, I can have a back pocket offer. I can do one-to-one coaching. But those are the three things, how I serve men as powerfully as possible. Love it.

SPEAKER_01: 37:54

I'm going to make sure that your website and all that information, wherever you are on the internet, is going to be in today's show notes. And then as we close today, I want to leave us, the listeners, to this one other challenge. And that's for showing up as men and families that need us. We need more than just coaching and to be on autopilot. So if you're ready to lead with clarity, connection, and conviction, then join me and take our free integrity challenge. Just go to members.theawakenman.net. Your future is waiting for you on the other side of that decision. So let's live with intention. Let's lead with integrity. And let's get started now. And thank you again, Mitchell, for being on the show. Thank you, brother. It was so good to be here.

SPEAKER_00: 38:42

Thank you for listening to the Revolutionary Man podcast. Are you ready to own your destiny to become more the man you're destined to be? Join the Brotherhood that is the Awakened of Man at theawakendheman.net and start forging a new destiny today.